Where his ravens fly
by Portuguese Irish
Summary: Pilot suffers an accident... well, not an air-disaster but still... how will he keep flying?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's (mighty) note: **to start with, English is not my first langague, so I'm very sorry for any mistake. Also, there may be a little slash, but you'll barely notice it! (it's a lie, you WILL notice it!), but nothing too explicit. And finally, these awesome guys don't belong to me, but if they did they'd surelly have all the unicorns they wanted...

Thanks for your attention. :)

* * *

_Geri and Freki does heerfather feed_  
_The far-famed fighter of old_  
_But on wine alone does the one-eyed god_  
_Wuotan, forever live_

_O'er Midgard hugin and Munin both_  
_Each day set forth to fly_  
_For Hugin I fear lest he come not home_  
_But for Munin my care is more_

_There Valgrind stands, the sacred gate_  
_And behind're the holy doors_  
_Old is the gate, but few there are_  
_Who can tell it's tightly locked_

_Five hundred doors and forty there are_  
_I ween, in Walhall's walls_  
_Eight hundred fighters through one door fare_  
_When to war with wolf they go_

_Five hundred roomsand forty there are_  
_I ween, in Bilskirnir built_  
_Of all the homes whose roofs I beheld_  
_My son's the greatest meseemed_  
_Oh Wuotan_  
_Where your ravens fly_

_There is Gladsheim, and golden-bright_  
_There stands Walhall stretching wide_  
_There does Othin each day choose_  
_All those who fell in fight_

_There is Folkvang, where Freyja decrees_  
_Who shall have seats in the hall_  
_Half of the dead each day does she choose_  
_The other half does Othin have_

_Now am I Othin, Ygg was I once_  
_Ere that did they call me Thund_  
_Wodan and Oden, and all, methinks,_  
_Are the names for none but me_

_Oh Wuotan_  
_Where your ravens fly_

_Hail to thee, for hailed thou art_  
_By the voice of Veratyr_  
_Where Valgrind stands, the sacred gate_  
_Ye will find nine golden doors_

_Hail to thee, for hailed thou art_  
_By the voice of Veratyr_  
_Old is the gate, but few there are_  
_Who can tell how it's tightly locked_

_(Falkenbach- Where his Ravens fly)_

* * *

The wind cherishing his face...

The small creatures running under his shadow...

The clouds we could touch...

The sky that belonged to him...

And then suddently some stupid rock came across his boot and he fell in the ground. Reallity hurts, you know?

Pilot looked around, checking if someone had seen the air disaster. Seemed there was no shoe around.

He stood up, stretched his arms and took flight again. It felt so good to fly, to be alone in the sky, where no one could bother him, where no one could tell him to do this or that, where the voices could not reach.

However, the Pilot seemed to be in a very bad air day, for he bumped into something and the two bodies fell, rolling down a pile of junk he didn't remember to have climbed.

When the two of them stopped rolling, the pilot shook his head and looked at his obstacle:

'You goddamn shoe!', he exclaimed. Snippy changed to a sitting position and pulled his hood to cover his head again, ignoring the annoying comrade, 'I'm going to tell the Captain you sabotaged my flight!'

'Do I look like I care?', the sniper replied, shaking off the dust from his jacket.

The pilot just watched the sniper walk away. Of course that jiggly flip-flop didn't care! That horrible démodé stiletto! It would be so good if he could just drop a bomb over that creature...

* * *

That day the Captain had given them a very important mission; to find a pretty bow for Photoshop.

Of course, Pilot was always the most interested minion and he happilly jumped around the dead city, followed by Snippy and Engie, too busy being shoes to follow the Captain's orders.

Pilot stopped at the entrace of what had once been a boutique. Maybe he could find something there:

'If I were you, I wouldn't go there.', the sniper suddenly advised looking at the destructed building, 'Doesn't seem safe.'

'Just let him get burried, what does it matter?', Engie mumbled with his hands in the pockets. The sniper just sighed; why did he care, he couldn't explain. Maybe he feared the Captain's reaction for loosing his 'best' minion... if the Captain cared, of course...

Meanwhile Pilot had ran inside the boutique. The sad, ash-coloured store looked bright and alive to him, and he spotted a beautiful bow in a small show window of the counter. Photoshop woul look lovely!

He kicked the glass and broke it. Then he slid his arm through the opening and grabbed the bow:

'I did it!', he sang while making a little victory dance. But he interrupted his dance as he heard a roaring-like sound and the walls started to tremble.

Pilot ran to the door, but he wasn't fast enough...

* * *

'... and this is the result of your stupid missions!'

_My backs, my head..._

'And we nearly got burried too while trying to dig him out!'

_Blasphemic shoes..._

'He looks fine!'

_Captain! I... I got the bow!_

Pilot opened his eyes, and his blurred vision soon unmisted; there were Snippy, Engie and the glorious Captain. He smilled, even though the others coulnd't see his smile through the gas mask:

'Captain, I got the bow for Photoshop!', he informed, trying to sit. A sharp pain on his back made him hiss and lay down again. The Captain walked towards him and petted his head:

'Very well, Pilot, very well! You shall rest now. Engie and Mr. Snippy will put the bow on Photoshop!', the German man said.

This sentence caused a wave of protests among his troops; Engie didn't want to put the bow on the big and cute and completely innofencive caterpillar, Snippy said some boobery about food and water and Pilot demanded to go and put the bow on Photoshop.

The Captain didn't like those chaotic situations...:

'Mein minions!', he exclaimed, rising his voice above the other's, 'Pilot will rest and Engie and Mr. Snippy will put the bow on Photoshop!'

'I don't want to meet the beast!', Engie replayed and crossed his arms. Pilot jolted and tried to stand up and go after Engie; no one would offend his pet!

However, he fell in the ground, ashes and dust dancing around him.

What the heck?

He tried to move his legs, to kneel... but he couldn't feel them. He screamed in horror and writhed in the dirty ground of the abandoned house that was currently their base, still not able to move his legs:

'YOU DAMN SHOES, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY LEGS?', he cried, quickly crawling to the Captain and daring to wrap his arms around the German's legs, 'Captain, punish them! They're envious I got the bow for Photoshop and sabotaged my legs!'

The only audible sound were the Pilot's cries, who hadn't understood yet the gravity of the situation. Engie and Snippy exchanged a significant glance and then they looked at the Captain. By his rigid pose, the other two men could tell he had also understood what had happened.

But the Captain was the captain for some reason, and he quickly picked up Pilot and carried him back to the couch, or what was left of it, where he had previously laid in:

'My dear Pilot, you battled so much for the bow that you are completely exhausted!', he explained. The German man then petted the pilot's legs, 'I'm sure that within a few days you'll be okay. Now, you must rest.'

Pilot just nodded, still astonished that the Captain, THE Captain, had touched his legs. Surely his magical powers would heal him!

'Mr. Engie is going to put the bow on Photoshop.', he ordered. Defeated, the poor man left the room.

Snippy had a bad feeling when he found himself alone with the Captain and Pilot. Before the German could order some barbarity, he dared to pull him aside by the arm.

Pilot's complains filled the room while Snippy nearly dragged the Captain to what was supposed to be the corridor of the house:

'Did you notice he's paralytic?', he whispered worridly, 'It's surelly a traumatic lesion, what will we do now?'

Not that he was a medicine expert, but the most logical explanation was that the Pilot had gotten the injury in the collapse of the boutique. All of that because of a stupid bow!

The Captain showed him a straw. Where did that straw come from?

'I know, my valiant sniper! But my awesomeness will cure him, you'll see. Now, I'm going to have some tea.', he turned his backs and walked away, 'Oh, before I forget... keep an eye on Pilot, yes snippy-sniper?'

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**Weee, review please?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's (powerful) note: **thanks so much for the reviews, favs and follows! :D

* * *

The sniper watched as the Captain left. He then heard a 'bump!' and looked over at Pilot, who had rolled off the couch:

'Give my legs back, you sluggish croc!', the man dressed in black demanded, dragging himself with an incredible speed. The sniper wondered what could Pilot do, if he could't use his legs. Well, he still had fists...

He took a deep breath:

'The Captain ordered me to keep an eye on you.', he started, grabbing the other man's wrists and dragging him back to the couch. Ruder than what was needed, he managed to lay down the pilot:

'I don't want you to keep an eye on me, shoes don't have eyes!', Pilot mumbled. Why couldn't the Captain look after him? Afterall, he was such a good minion, so loyal, so faithful! Or... maybe he wasn't good enough for his captain... This thought made him so sad... Or maybe this had been all a plan of those two useless shoes to take him out of their way, so they could have the captain for them!

He then suddenly realised his mask was being removed and he quickly placed his hands over it:

'Hands off!'

'Come on, I need to see if you broke something! A whole building fell over you, don't you remember?'

'I remember I found the bow for Photoshop, something you didn't!'

Snippy sighed; Pilot couldn't be that hard to deal with, right? Come on, it's just a childish man, what could happen?

Well, he was a good fighter...

No panic, no panic, he couldn't be worse that a mutant...

Snippy took off his own mask, goggles and hood:

'You can see my face. Can I see yours?'

Reluctantly, Pilot allowed the sniper to remove his gas mask. It was a weird moment for both, since none of them had seen each other without the gas masks before. Cold blue eyes met electrifying green eyes.

For some silent moments, the sniper lost himself by studying the other man's sharp face, with an aquiline nose, probably due to a fracture, strong jaws and a large forehead. He was blonde. So, that was the face of the young man who pretended to be an airplane, who called him shoe and who praised the Captain. His face, and probably the body hidden in the black clothing, didn't fit that child-like mind...

On his side, Pilot felt like a fool, he had never imagined that a shoe could be... such a nice shoe.

The spell broke as they heard a scream coming from the room next door, Captain's room:

'I'LL SAVE YOU, MY CAPTAIN!', Pilot let out his battle cry and made an effort to stand up. He failed miserably and fell in the ground, 'YOU SHOE, GIVE MY LEGS BACK! NO, SAVE THE CAPTAIN FIRST!'

Snippy was already running to the Captain's room. He found the German man at the window, waving his fist. Snippy unlocked his riffle and stopped next to him:

'What happened?', he asked. The Captain looked at him, like if he was offended with such a silly question:

'What happened? I was being stalked! A handsome beast like me can't even undress to take a little nap without being stalked!'

Snippy sighed; if Pilot knew that...

The Captain sat at the edge of the bed:

'Mr. Snippy, I demand you to shoo Stalky.'

'I'm already keeping an eye on Pilot...' Pilot... With a sigh, the sniper locked his riffle again, 'Captain... what will we do about him?'

'In a few days he'll be fine, my awesomeness will cure him!'

'This is serious!', Snippy rubbed his face with his hands, feeling helpless, 'He can't walk, he will delay us, he will have to be carried around...'

'Nonsense, in a few days he'll be perfectly fine. You'll see, ye faithless sniper'.

With that, the Captain shoved Snippy out of the room and pretended to close a door that didn't exist.

Snippy just blinked his blue eyes, until he noticed that Pilot had crawled out of 'their' room and was looking threateningly at him. His green eyes seemed to glow in the semi-darkness of the ruined corridor:

'What have you done to the almighty Captain?', he asked as Snippy grabbed his arm and dragged him back to 'their' room. The sniper left his riffle over a broken table and laid the pilot over the couch again:

'Stalky was stalking the Captain...', he informed. And for five minutes he struggled to keep Pilot in the couch, who was much stronger that what the sniper had previously imagined.

But finally Pilot gave up and went quiet, and allowed the dark-haired man to undress his leather jacket and black t-shirt. Snippy wondered how could he walk around with just a t-shirt... well, Pilot was never quiet, so he probably didn't have the time to notice it was cold.

Snippy allowed his eyes to wander over Pilot's torso, and indeed that body didn't find that mind. The scars that adorned Pilot's torso didn't belong there, either; the sniper just couldn't imagine that careless, playfull and annoying man getting wounded. And how could he get wounded, Snippy had never seen him fighting or something!

Just Cancer... He looked at the markings on the Pilot's face, and undrestood the other man was not amused:

'Stupid shoe, I'm cold!', he mumbled.

Snippy had completely forgotten about his primary intentions! He quickly checked the other man, looking for broken bones or something, but there was nothing, not even little scratches.

The only damage was the paralytic legs...

The sniper dressed Pilot again and they remained in an uncomfortable silence for a while.

The Pilot observed the tips of his boots. Boots were nice. Boots were better than shoes. The Captain was a shinny and beautiful combat boot. Snippy and Engie were shoes. SHOOOOEEEEES! And that stalky Stalky, he was not even a shoe, he was a stupid sandal with a sock!

But is was okay... they'd see... soon he'd be fine again, the Captain had touched his sabotaged legs with his magical hands! He still couldn't believe he had been blessed with the Captain's magic. He loved his Captain so much... And then he would be able to find more flying machines and to accomplish all the missions the Captain had for him!

However... there he was, useless, lying in what was left of a couch. And that snippy-shoe, that looked so much at him! What was his problem?:

'Stop looking at me!', Pilot demanded:

'I'm not looking at you!'

'Yes you are!'

_Oh crap, I actually am!_

Snippy quickly stood up and walked to a hole in the wall. He spent the rest of the day looking outside, and seemed to him that he spotted, not far from their base, poor Engie struggling to put the blasted bow on Photoshop.

* * *

Two days gone by, and Pilot didn't recover.

Evey day the Captain had touched his legs like a Christ, and every day he promissed his good minion he would be fine.

At the second day Pilot began to feel nervous, for a very ugly thought had came up to his mind; what if the Captain couldn't heal him? Nonononononononono... of course the Captain would heal him! Right? Right! Yeah, right!

Maybe it was that sneaky-sniper-shoe that was delaying the process... His bad energies were trying to fight against the Captain's superhypermagic powers!

That morning Pilot and Snippy were left alone again, since the Captain and Engie had left to look for food and water. Snippy doubted they could find something without him...

He realised Pilot was too quiet and seemed pouted, even though they had theirs masks again and couldn't see each other's faces:

'Is there anything wrong?', the sniper asked, feeling like he knew the answer. Pilot's head turned at him in a furious gesture:

'YES YOU SHOE! Smelly, smelly shoe! You are trying to keep me useless, so I can't go in the Captain's missions! You want to dethrone me!', Pilot cried. Snippy facepalmed:

'I'm not trying to dethrone you!'

'Yes you are, you horrible, nasty, ugly slipper!'

Snippy rolled his eyes and stood up from the chair were he was sitting. He walked in circles around the room, trying to ignore the sudden rage of the other man. But as fast as it had started, it stopped, and for some minutes there was silence. Then the sniper watched as the pilot tried to curl up, but the best he did was to turn his torso to the rotten backs of the couch, not able to move his legs. Carefully, Snippy walked towards him and sat next to him:

'Pilot?', he called. No answer. 'Pilot?'

'Go away, stupid slug...', the other finally replayed in a weak voice. Snippy crossed his arms:

'No I won't, the Captain told me to stay here.', he said. Even though he really wanted to go away; gosh, it was so much better to fight mutants than having to listen to the Pilot's booberies...

But the Pilot had never offended him. You see... who feels offended by being called a shoe? It's the biggest and funniets nonsense ever!

And afterall... poor Pilot, he would never walk again...

Thinking about this, Snippy bit his lower lip; some weird mixture of pitty and compassion boiled in his heart, and he gently placed a hand over Pilot's shoulder:

'The Captain's mightyness is much superior to my sabotage skills... soon you'll be walking and flying again.', bwah, did he really say this? So lame...

Slowly, Pilot faced him:

'Promise?'

'Yeah.'

And a sudden hate froze Snippy's heart; that German bastard, he was playing with such a serious situation! He was fooling that innocent imbecile that was Pilot! He was giving him vain hopes... and that idiot believed!

Snippy sighed; the least he could do was try to make Pilot's life livable...

And for some reason, he felt like he was soooo going to regret that...

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**Review?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's (great) note: **thanks so much for the reviews! \m/ò3ó

* * *

Snippy thought for a while. He let out a sad 'bwah' and stood up:

'Come on, just pretend I'm a unicorn.', he said, offering his back to the pilot. The green eyed mad smiled and managed to sit; it's not everyday you are given a piggyback ride:

'Unicorns are beautiful. It's not the case.', Pilot replayed, wrapping his arms around Snippy's back and dragging himself over the other man. Snippy felt Pilot slide up his back like an agile snake, and somehow he enjoyed that feeling. He then held the other man's legs and Pilot tightened his grip around the sniper's neck.

Pilot was pretty heavy... Snippy just had to say it!:

'An airplane would never manage to take flight with you!'

Insulting shoe! Pilot tried to kick Snippy but his legs didn't obey. He thought about punching or slapping him, but he was afraid he could fall off, so he spent a good time thinking about the most epic, mighty and powerful insult ever.

But as soon as Pilot was taken outside, he completely forgot about insulting Snippy; he felt a sudden fear, could the horrible shoe get rid of him?

'Where are you taking me, shoe?'

'You'll see, just relax.'

But Pilot began to move in panic:

'YOU'RE GOING TO THROW ME AWAY! CAPTAIN, PHOTOSHOP, PLEASE SAVE ME!'

Snippy nearly lost his balance and he stopped. He pinched one of Pilot's legs, then he remembered the annoying man couldn't feel it:

'I'm not going to throw you away!', the sniper explained, glancing over his shoulder to the green eyed man, 'Now be quiet, otherwise I'll drag you by the tube of your mask.'

Pilot had to trust the sniper...

Slowly, very slowly, the man dressed in black relaxed a bit and realized how cool was to be carried around in the Dead City. When he could walk again, he was going to carry the great Captain on his back. Unconsciously, Pilot rested his chin on the top of Snippy's head.

Snippy walked for a while, until he arrived to a desolated avenue; the shops once so bustling, were now empty, the garden located in a little island of the avenue, had its grass and flowers and trees turned into piles of ashes and dust. There were some burned cars, forever parked near the sidewalks or in the middle of the road, dirtless graves for their occupants.

It was just perfect, and Snippy took a deep breath; yes, he was really about to do it...:

'Pilot, we'll take flight in 3... 2... 1... now!', and the sniper started to run down the avenue. Pilot immediately spread his arms and a huge smile grew on his face. He was flying again! Soon, he left the avenue behind, as he ascended to the darkness, tore the black clouds and... he was at the crossroads at the end of the avenue:

'Shoe, why did you stop?', Pilot asked as he dropped his arms. He then realized he could listen to Snippy's heavy breathing:

'Need... air... too... heavy... puff... tired...', the poor sniper wailed.

Such a weak shoe! And a daring one too, calling him, Pilot, heavy! However, the green-eyed man felt sorry for the sniper:

'If you put me down and have break, can we do it again?', he asked with the same tone a child would ask his mother for another biscuit. Snippy smiled and slowly and carefully kneeled in the ground, so that he could easily drop Pilot.

For some minutes, the two of them sat on the border of a sidewalk, silently looking around. Snippy could swear he heard, not very far from there, something like 'But I found the cake first!' He smiled again; maybe keeping an eye on Pilot wasn't that bad... He then grimaced and gently rubbed his back.

Pilot noticed the gesture and rolled his eyes; probably the shoe was just trying to make him feel bad... He looked up, to the monochrome darkness above them, and suddenly a drop of water hit his googles:

'It's raining!', Pilot complained, 'It's not a good idea to take flight with such bad weather! Not that I can't do it but...'

'BWAH! Acid rain!', the sniper quickly picked up the pilot like a sack of potatoes and ran the faster his tired legs and lungs allowed him to look for shelter in a store. They entered in what once used to be a cafe. Right on time! A curtain of yellowish rain covered the Dead City.

Snippy rudely dropped Pilot over a table that succumbed to the man's weight. Snippy couldn't help but smile:

'I told you...'

'Stupid shoe, why are you always being mean to me?', Pilot cried, crawling away. That wasn't being fun anymore, he wanted to go outside and fly, with or without rain. But the sniper held him by his armpits and dragged him to chair. A resistant chair, by the way:

'Ok, I'm sorry about the table...', Snippy said as he took a seat next to Pilot, 'Are you ok?'

Pilot shrugged. Just a little pain in the back. He tried to move his legs, but still nothing... The man dressed in black sighed sadly and looked outside, to the acid rain eroding the skeletons of the remaining buildings. The buildings of the sad dead city he so lovingly called 'home'.

Snippy wondered if he should say something. In normal situations he loved the silence, but for some strange reason that lack of speech between him and Pilot was pissing him off. He cleared his throat:

'Why do you call me shoe?', he asked. Pilot slowly looked at him:

'It's too complicated for your sluggish-shoe brain!', the other man informed, but he ended up explaining his theory. Snippy couldn't help but laugh really hard:

'That's the most stupid thing ever! Do you actually realize nobody feels offended with that?'

Pilot crossed his arms over the table and rested his head over them. Stupid, bad shoe, always mocking him and making him sad! How he wished the Captain was there...

Silence, Snippy had managed to retain his laughter. He looked at Pilot for a moment and rolled his eyes:

'Don't be such a drama queen...', he said. No answer. Probably the child-man had pouted. Snippy sighed and carelessly massaged Pilot's shoulders.

At first, the green-eyed man tensed up, but he quickly relaxed and unconsciously moved a little closer to Snippy, who frowned. He decided to stop massaging the other's shoulders, just too see what would happen. He expected to be called 'shoe' or any synonymous of 'shoe', or that the Pilot would suddenly raise his head and tell him how Captain was such a better massagist, or then Snippy would find out that Pilot had fallen asleep and didn't even realize he was being massaged.

Pilot shyly looked at him:

'Can I have some more, please?', he asked.

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**Wee, review?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's (epic) note:**thanks so much for the reviews! ^_^

* * *

Life is miserable when you beg a shoe for some comfort...

Snippy could be a jiggly slug, a smelly shoe, a Hello Kitty sock and a very unqualified flying machine... but his touch felt so good...

Pilot hopefully waited, until Snippy started to massage his shoulders again. With a grateful smile, Pilot rested his head on his arms again. He closed his eyes and a pleasent daydream came to his mind; the Dead City was purple, just like the Captain's goggles, the sky was clear and Photoshop was running after Engie. There were people, real people living in the city. Pilot had just landed a very cool and modern airplane on the top of a skyscraper and he made his way inside the building; he was going to have lunch with the mighty Captain, who ruled the town. On his way to the Captain's office he found a poor and miserable guy washing the floor, and his uniform said 'CLEANING SHOE - PLEASE KICK MY ARSE'. It was Snippy.

The green-eyed man shook his head and came back to the lifeless cafe. He could still feel Snippy's hand on his shoulder:

'It stopped raining, we should go back to the base.', the sniper informed. The massage session ceased, much for Pilot's disappointment.

With Pilot on his back again, Snippy quickly ran to the base, hoping the gloomy clouds wouldn't drop more acid rain while they were on their way. Pilot was acting like an airplane again, making irritating shooting noises and saying something like 'mission: shoot down the slug'.

The poor sniper could barely stand up when they finally reached the base. He fell to his knees and removed his gas mask, breathing heavily and freely, feeling his lungs on fire and his heart about to explode:

'And you call me fat...', Pilot mumbled crawling away, leaving the breathless sniper behind. He had no problems in reaching the room and he happily dragged himself to the chair where Captain was sitting, 'Captain, when will I be blessed with one of your fantastic missions?'

The Captain sipped some tea from his mug and then petted Pilot's head, like a nobleman would pet his wolfhound:

'Soon mein minion, soon.', he replayed in a benevolent tone, 'Where's our snippy-sniper , I told him to look after you!'

'The swaying slug needs more exercise, he's slow.', Pilot informed. If he could, he'd purr; in that moment Captain's petting seemed so much better than Snippy's clumsy massage...

'I shall solve that problem, then!', the Captain promised and sipped some more tea. Pilot just laid in the floor like a dog at the feet of its owner. Sitting alone in his corner, Engie realized that maybe going on food and water quests with Captain wasn't that bad... at least he didn't need to carry a guy on his back...

Snippy joined them few minutes later, his gas mask covering his face again. He threw himself over the couch with a tired 'bwah...' His stomach grumbled, it was dinner time:

'So, what food did you find?', he asked Engie, who was able to work with the Geiger counter and also would choose canned food instead of 'fresh fruit and vegetables' proudly displayed in supermarkets.

But before Engie could answer, the Captain stood up and cleared his throat:

'Mr. Snippy, I declare that you're now on a diet!'

'BWAH!', Snippy jumped to the floor, his hands ready to strangle that horrible German creature. Engie and Pilot giggled, 'No way!'

'Yes, mein liebe! You shall be terribly punished if you touch food.'

'I want to know what is this boobery!', Snippy demanded. The Captain shrugged:

'You will thank me later, when you become a good pilot-carrier!'

_Pilot, you bastard!_, Snippy thought, giving the mentioned his most powerful death stare. He had wasted energy and time trying to cheer that flying damn, just to be stabbed in the back, humiliated and fooled.

No more nice Snippy for Pilot, that was war!

* * *

Snippy was starving when he woke up next morning. Captain tortured him by making him sit at the table while everybody was having their poor breakfast. Poor, but still a breakfast...

Then Engie left to 'build zee most pretty und lovely robot-horse'. Captain was with him, just to make sure it would be a purple, fluffy and huge draft horse.

And a starving Snippy was left alone with Pilot. Snippy didn't even bother to look for food; knowing the Captain, the German had probably hidden the cans in the most incredible places...

So all he got to do was to sit on the floor and sleep, or stare at his boots. He choose the floor because he didn't want to be close to Pilot on the couch, or something really nasty would happen.

Pilot let out a sigh, stretched out his arm but he still couldn't reach Snippy and poke him:

'Shoe, I want to go outside!', he informed:

'Crawl.', was the nice answer. Pilot frowned; Snippy had been so good yesterday, what was his problem? Stupid, stupid bad shoe!

'The Captain told you to...'

'Fuck off.', Snippy mumbled and stood up. Pilot covered his mouth, or better mask, with the hands; what a rude, unpleasent shoe! He watched as the sniper walked away and thought about following him and teach him good manners, but he then felt an iron grip in his heart.

The child-man understood he wasn't being nice to Snippy. Even if he was a shoe, he had been a nice shoe, so Pilot should be nice with him too. He rolled to the floor and crawled after the sniper.

And or Snippy walked too slow, or Pilot crawled too fast. In a matter of seconds the green-eyed man had wrapped his arms around the sniper's legs:

'BWAH!'

'Please, take me outside!', Pilot begged. Snippy fought not to lose his balance and tried to release his legs:

'I'm not taking you anywhere, go by yourself!', Snippy replayed with an angry tone. But the pilot didn't move and kept looking at him, his green lenses piercing him:

'But I can't walk!', he cried, 'If I tell you where the food is, will you take me?'

Snippy half-closed his eyes; so now the Captain's slave was trying to buy him, uh? No way! Snippy was priceless, he would never descend to such a low level.

However... uurgh, that stupid pitty feeling again! Poor Pilot, he was just a fool, a useless fool now. Snippy let out a sigh, dragged Pilot back to 'their' room and helped him to sit on the couch:

'Fine, where's the food?'. the sniper asked. Pilot giggled and clapped his hands:

'You'd never find out alone, Captain is the most inteligent genious ever! He's like Harry Potter, but more magic! He's...'

'Where is the food?'

'In the cupboard!', Pilot raised his arms in excitment, 'You'd never thing about it, right? Captain hid the food in such an obvious place that your shoeish mind would never thing about that!'

Snippy just blinked his eyes; yes, he had to admit that he'd never look for the food in such an obvious place. But he couldn't tell if Captain had been a genious or just an idiot pretending to be a genious... Anyway, he was hungry and was going to eat.

The sniper carefuly opened the cupboard and his eyes widened as he found a lot of canned food and bottles of water hidden there. _Seems they don't need me to find supplies..._, he thought bitterly. Snippy picked up a tunna can, placed it over the table and looked for a plastic fork inside his backbag. Pilot followed his movements and remained silent while the sniper had his meal. He didn't know if he should feel bad for having desobeyed the Captain or glad for having assured his daily flight. He then bit his lower lip; maybe this had been a bad idea... now the fat slug would be fatter and slower and... no, poor Snippy... he had been cool the day before... he deserved it.

Pilot shivered as he remembered the feeling of Snippy's hand. Funny thing, Captain's touch didn't make him like that... The green-eyed man didn't know why, but he wanted some more of that good feeling, he wasn't even sure if he had felt that before the apocalypse.

Silently, Pilot crawled to the table and pulled himself to a chair. He managed to sit, his legs dragging behind him like a very strange accessory. Snippy's gas mask had been placed over the table, but the goggles were still hiding his blue eyes. Pilot impatiently watched him eating the canned tunna:

'Why are you such a mean shoe?', he suddenly asked. Snippy slowly turned his head to him and removed his goggles to reveal a very sceptic 'oh really...?' face. Snippy put the empty can aside and licked the plastic fork, much for Pilot's amusement:

'Why are you so provoking, childish, idiot, stupid, annoying...', the sniper replayed. Pilot frowned:

'See? You're horrible! I don't understand why you are in Captain's army, you suck! You're mean, bad, a sick slug!', Pilot covered his face with his hands, dramatically, 'And yesterday I thought you were good!'

Snippy snarled and rolled his eyes; Pilot was just a hopeless moron, why did he even waisted his precious saliva? Still he smiled with the compliment.

* * *

They spent the whole day outside, Snippy trotting and running around with Pilot on his back. When they returned to the base, Captain and Engie were still busy with the robotic horse and the sniper ate another tunna can while nobody was there to bother him:

'Aren't you hungry?', he asked since Pilot was just lying on the couch. The other man crossed his arms:

'I'm waiting for the Captain.', he explained. He stretched out and Snippy thought the pilot looked quite appealing._ BWAH, what? Maybe the tunna is messing my brains... _Yeah, that was the only logical explanation. Still he moved from the chair where he was sitting to have a seat next to Pilot:

'So... did you enjoy the flight?', he asked. _Now I know __how does a racehorse feels... _Surprisingly, Pilot hugged him. Snippy froze, 'I'll that take as a yes...'

'You are a nice shoe when you want.', the pilot sighed. Shyly, Snippy wraped his arms around Pilot, 'But I think you should follow Captain's diet, maybe you could be faster and...'

'Shut up before you ruing everything...', Snippy mumbled. And so did Pilot.

The sniper was a shoe, but a comfortable one. Pilot cuddled up and rested his head over Snippy's chest, thinking about how lucky he was for having such a great captain and such a nice shoe to warm him up. It didn't take too long until Pilot fell asleep.

Snippy just hoped the others wouldn't see him like that, it would be extremely embarassing... He took off his mask and goggles and placed them in the floor. He did the same to Pilot, supposing that the other man would feel better without the mask. With a resigned 'bwah...' Snippy found out Pilot had fallen asleep with a child-like smirk on his lips.

Well... letting him sleep for five minutes wouldn't hurt, right? Just... just five minutes... Gosh, Pilot was warm... It felt good to have him on his embrace... With another 'bwah...', Snippy fell asleep.

* * *

**Weeeee, review?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's (marvelous) note: **to start with, thank you for the reviews. :) Now... if you have a gas mask, put it on and go to the nearest playground... it's TOTAL FUN!

* * *

The first thing Snippy felt as he woke up was surprise; it had been his first night without worries. It felt so good... like he had dropped an extremely heavy backbag in the floor and was so light he could fly!

Fly...

He looked down and foud Pilot sleeping deeply in his embrace. And standing proudly over Pilot's side, there was a piece of folded paper... Snippy's heart skipped a beat. He quickly unfolded the paper and read the lovely messages:

_Zee Captein: du und Pilot sind SO SCHÖN! SIE SIND ÜBERLICIOUS!_*

_Alexander: Sorry dude, I just had to take a picture... :D_

A picture? Where the heck did the damn Russian find a camera? Below the two phrases was a portain of Captain 'approving of this'. Snippy rumpled the paper and even bit it in a sudden conniption; _BWAH! WHY DOES ALL THE SHIT HAPPEN TO ME?_, he thought, feeling the blood boil in his veins. He mercilessly shook Pilot and nearly shoved the paper down his throat:

'THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!', he yelled, standing up and almost pushing the poor green-eyed man to the floor. A half-sleepy Pilot took a look at the paper and smiled:

'One of Captain's masterpieces!' he exclaimed. However, his excitement was gone in the blink of an eye and he frowned, 'What does the Captain mean? And who's Alexander? And a picture of what?'

Snippy felt like strangling him. He walked in circles around the table, trying to calm down, keeping his shaking hands inside his pockets:

'I don't speak German. Alexander is Engie's name. A picture of us.'

'A picture of us?', Pilot scratched his blond head, thinking hard about something the shoe and he had done that could worth a picture. He then smilled, 'Flying?'

'No...', Snippy took a seat before his legs could betray him. He ran his fingers through his dark hair, thinking about his ruined reputation. Ooh, Captain and Engie would sooo taste his bullets...

Pilot rolled his eyes, thinking, until he finally shrugged:

'What have we done?', he asked innocently. But Snippy couldn't tell if he was really clueless or if he was trying to worse things. He took a deep breath and picked up his goggles and mask from the floor:

'We fell asleep together, thank you for turning my miserable life into something even more miserable...', he answered as he put them. He grabbed his rifle and walked away.

Pilot just blinked his eyes; oh no, and what if Captain thought he liked Snippy more? But... he had had the best night ever, with no voices troubling him, with no nightmares... Stupid shoe, why was he always ruining Pilot's joy? He had felt so good, so safe, and now it was all gone! Horrible, nasty sandal!

The man dressed in black attempted to stand up, completely forgetting about his lifeless legs. He fell in the floor and hit his head, letting out a loud 'ouch!'. Snippy was already at the corridor, but he couldn't help and felt worried, so he came back and helped Pilot to go back to the couch. The green-eyed man pushed him:

'I hate you!', he cried, 'And I hate to be alone with you, now that Ugg-Engie-Boot is going to steal me Captain, and Captain will go along because now he thinks I like you!'

'You have no dignity!', Snippy mumbled, crossing his arms. He watched Pilot sob for a while; Pilot... that bloody creature was just like the air, a calm and soft breeze in a moment, and the next second an overpowering hurricane. How could someone deal with him?

Then Snippy noticed a little cut on Pilot's lower lip. Tears were mixing with blood, leaving a pale red trail down to Pilot's chin. The sniper pulled his own hair in a frustation act and removed his goggles and mask:

'Captain is not interested in Engie and he knows you're not interested in me...', he mumbled, gently drying the tears and blood with his thumb. That pair of electrifying green eyes turned at him, blonde eyebrows slightly frowned; maybe Snippy was right... afterall, the Captain knew everything, he was wiser that Wikipedia, he was immortal and gathered the knowledge of ages past.

So the Captain knew, by all means, that this comfort he looked for in Snippy was just becase he was feeling lonely, all day apart from his captain, and sad for not being able to go on his glorious missions.

Pilot let out a sigh of relief. The Captain should also know that Pilot was only enjoying Snippy's company because... because... because what? Oh well, Captain knew it and that was the most important part:

'Take me out.', the pilot asked. Snippy rolled his eyes and covered his face, resigned. He watched as Pilot picked up his own mask, all happy again.

* * *

Their current base was localed next to what once had been a park with a playground, a restaurant, a lake with ducks and a lawn with some trees. Snippy took Pilot there, for he wasn't in the mood to run around with a man-sized child on his back. The sniper entered the park by the north gate, avoiding the toxic lake with mutated ducks and fishes. He went straight to the playground, that somehow survived with little damages, and put the pilot in a swing:

'There, I got you a new way of flying!', the sniper said, taking a seat in a neaby merry-go-round. He then smiled, 'When I was a kid I liked to swing and imagine I was flying...' Bwah, why did he bother to share that with Pilot? But the green-eyed man smiled, imagining Snippy as a little jiggly shoe. However, his smile died and he lowered his head:

'I don't remember my childhood...', he murmured, looking at his boots. He still couldn't move his legs, why was the Captain's magic taking so long to work? He sighed, the Captain knew what he was doing, 'Can you push me?'

Snippy slowly moved towards him, feeling somehow dizzy with the sad confession. He knew Pilot's memory was seriously damaged, but he was unaware that the other man cared about it. So Snippy placed both hands on Pilot's backs and pushed:

'I'm not going to stay here the whole day, did you hear?'

Of course they didn't spend the whole day in the swing... they also played for a long time on the merry-go-round and on the slide. Pilot wanted to go to the sand-box, but he gave up when Snippy told him that toxic spiders loved to hide in sand-boxes.

Anyway, for just a day Snippy had fun. For just a day, he forgot he was living in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, that billions of people were dead, that mutant monsters lurked from the dark. For just a day, he was playing with a friend and it happened they had gas masks; gas masks are pretty, and there's nothing cooler than messing around in a playground with a gas mask on. For just a day he laughed together with Pilot.

But as the dark day grew darker, all the happiness was gone and Snippy came back to reality. He helped Pilot to climb to the top of the slide and then came to other side while the other man went down:

'Come on, we must go back.', Snippy said:

'Aaww... just more 5 minutes, please, please!', Pilot begged. It was being so funny, he could never imagine Snippy knew how to have fun too:

'Don't you miss Captain?', the sniper asked, kneeling next to Pilot and offering his back. The Captain. Pilot had completely forgotten about the Captain. What a bad, bad minion! Shoe's fault, he was trying to distract him! But if so, why had he remembered him again...? Oh well...

Pilot climbed to Snippy's back and then shook him violently:

'DUCKY-DUCKS!', he yelled excitedly. Snippy waited until his brain stopped dancing inside his cranium and spotted a couple of ducks... apparently normal! But in the Dead City you can never trust things, even if they look innocent. Before Snippy could tell something, biscuits flew over his head and landed next to the ducks, that devoured them:

'Pilot! Was that you?', the sniper asked glancing behind. Pilot rested his head over Snippy's shoulder:

'I always carry some biscuits in the pockets... oooh, look at them shoe! They're so cute!'

Indeed, the ducks were cute and funny... but then they began to walk towards the sniper and the pilot and more ducks showed up, all starving and with a threathening look. Snippy hissed a curse:

'Do you have some more?', he asked:

'No...'

Snippy began to run away. The ducks flew after them, showing their vampire teeth. Pilot waved Snippy's rifle in the air and he managed to keep them away.

The poor sniper had never ran so fast...

* * *

Snippy locked the improvised door and fell to his knees, fighting to breath. This time Pilot got off the sniper's back and removed his mask and goggles:

'Thanks...', he muttered. Pilot stretched him the rifle and Snippy gave him an angry stare, 'If you weren't stupid, those ducks wouldn't have attacked us!'

'Why are you always so horrible?', Pilot cried and crawled away. That damned shoe, he ruined everything again! It was being so nice, so good; the fun, the comradeship, that funny and warm feeling in his heart... and it was all gone now. He crawled on the dusty floor and Captain nearly stumbled on him:

'Mein dear Pilot, why are you all sluggy-sluggish?', the German man asked, easily lifting the pilot and taking him to the room with the couch. The Captain gently laid down his minion and kneeled next to him, placing a hand over one of Pilot's leg, 'Isn't Mr. Snippy following the diet?'

Pilot felt a stab in his heart. Before he could help, tears ran down his face and he covered it with his hand, completely forgotten that he had his gas mask on:

'I'm so sorry! I told the shoe where the food was, because he had been nice to me... and I thought... I thought I was helping him, that he would keep beeing nice and... I'm so sorry!', Pilot felt so miserable, so... so shoeish... He curled up and the Captain petted his head:

'There there, mein pilot... I should punish you, but you are such a good and lovely minion that I forgive you.', the German said. Pilot just sobbed; how did he have the guts to disobey his captain, his dear captain?

'I won't do it again, I promise!', he cried sadly. He had sinned... and still the Captain was there, so kind!

The German then moved to the couch and held the pilot's hand, like a mother who comforts her brokenhearted teenage daughter:

'So, how are things between mein pilot and mein sniper?'

Meanwhile, Snippy was still in the same place. He was feeling better now, the pain in his chest and head was gone and he started to wonder if he had been too tough with Pilot. Maybe yes...

He was about to stand up when someone leaned against a wall, next to him. He looked to see who was it and clenched his jaw:

'You...'

'That picture and that camera are in a secret and safe place, you'll never find them!', Gromov sang. Snippy hissed another curse and stood up, rubbing his back, 'I must confess I never thought that about you, but you make a pretty couple.'

'Do you want to see a really nice magic trick with this rifle?'

Gromov raised his hands:

'There's no need to be violent...', he said, 'But Pilot must be better than going in these crazy missions, isn't it?

'Do you want to babysit him? Go ahead!', Snippy regreted this and hoped Engie wouldn't take the challenge. Fortunately, the engineer shook his head and they walked side by side to the room where Pilot and Captain were talking.

Snippy didn't like the little whispers the two men dressed in black were exchanging. He also didn't like when the whispering stopped when the two men noticed him.

The Captain stood up and walked away from the couch:

'Dinner time! , order a pizza for us! I'll be waiting in my room!', he said as he rounded Snippy and Engie, 'I want onion in my pizza, if you please.'

Engie just blinked his eyes. Snippy let out a 'bwah'; oh, these new arrived... He pulled a chair and had a seat, placing his gun over the table:

'Give him something canned and tell him the pizza was too late...', the sniper suggested. The Russian man nodded, it seemed a good idea. He walked to the cupboard, opened it and picked up a canned soup. Then a huge grin spread on his face:

'I bet you and Pilot want to be alone...', Engie laughed and ran to the door before Snippy could react. The sniper just sighed; he thought it would be worst...

He looked at Pilot, lying useless in the couch. The green-eyed man had his arms crossed and seemed interested in his leather jacket, completely ignoring Snippy. The blue-eyed man stood up and made his way to the cupboard:

'I bet you're hungry.', he said. It was a good excuse to start a conversation. His answer was a pillow thrown at his head, 'BWAH!'

'YOU ARE A PATHETIC SHOE!', Pilot raged, looking for something else to throw at Snippy. If he only could reach his katana...

The sniper closed the cupboard again and approached the pilot, kicking the dirty pillow away:

'Ok, I'm sorry... it was not your fault...', Snippy mumbled. Pilot calmed down a little, but his voice was still sounding pretty angry:

'You are a damn slug that always makes me feel horrible! You are sabotaging Captain's magic powers to keep me useless and humiliate me!'

'For the last time, I'M NOT SABOTAGING CAPTAIN'S MAGIC!', that bloody German wasn't magic, he was just an impostor!

And Pilot was an idiot for believing him.

And Snippy was even more dumbest for wanting to help that damned pilot...

For a few minutes, green lenses looked upon blue ones. If a stare killed... Until finally, Pilot lowered his head and pulled his lifeless legs to his chest, embracing them and buring his head on his knees:

'Snippy, I'm hungry...'

'I know...', the sniper walked back to the cupboard and picked up two cans of soup. He sat on the couch, but this time he kept some distance between him and Pilot. The two drank the soups silently, listening to the wind outside and to Captain singing 'Que sera'.

Snippy let out a sigh and rubbed his backs:

'Pain?', Pilot suddenly asked. Snippy nodded, 'Liar, shoes feel no pain!'

'For the last time, I'M NOT A SHOE!'

'Your argument is invalid, you ARE a shoe, ugly and smelly!'

Snippy rested his head against the back of the couch. Pilot smilled victoriously, but his smile died soon as he realized something was not okay... Maybe Snippy wasn't really a shoe... Uuurgh, he was a bad minion, a bad shoe... could that creature be something good?

Pilot dragged himself closer to Snippy:

'Are you really sorry for that?', he asked. The sniper nodded and stretched his tired legs:

'I'm just tired and sored...', _and sick of this place and sick of Captain... and a little sick of you... not much, just a little..._

Then Snippy noticed his gas mask and goggles were gone. Pilot was looking at him, his face uncovered too, lightly concerned. The sniper watched as the pilot removed his gloves and shamelessly started to fondle Snippy's hair:

'Photoshop likes when I do this.', the green-eyed man explained. Snippy closed his eyes and enjoyed that; it was actually good, nobody had touched his hair before, 'Not that you deserve...'

'Not that you deserve to be carried around, either...'

Both of them stared at each other. And for some unknown reason, Snippy smiled:

'We're just helpless...', he shrugged and closed his eyes again when Pilot kept fondling his dark hair. But he nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt Pilot resting his head over his shoulder:

'I hate you most of times, but sometimes you make me feel so good...', the green-eyed man mumbled.

* * *

**Wee, review?**

**Another (nice) note: **translation: *you and Pilot are SO LOVELY! YOU ARE ÜBERLICIOUS! Well, I can't really translate 'überlicious', I invented this one. XD Here 'über' means 'above', so it's something like 'above delicious'.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's (yay) note: **thanks for the reviews and favs and follows. :)

* * *

The next morning, and as usual, Snippy was the first to wake up. Pilot was still sleeping and Snippy allowed himself to watch him, finding cute the little pleased smirk on the other man's lips. Reluctanly and carefuly, the sniper smoothed Pilot's rebel hair, enjoying the peace and silence:

'GOOD MORNING, MEIN LOVEBIRD MINIONS!', Captain greeted as he jumped into the room, dragging a very sleepy Engie with him. Snippy fusilladed him with his cold blue eyes:

'He's still sleeping, shut up!', he hissed. The German man clapped his hands and jumped like a fangirl:

'Mr. Snippy, I'm so glad you and Pilot are going along with each other! Aren't they cute, Mr. Engie?'

Behind the goggles and gas mask, Engie had closed his eyes again, trying to get some more sleep. Impossible with so much noise...

After a while the small group of survivers moved to another base; Captain carried his mug, Engie carried bags and bags with supplies, blankets and first-aid kits and Snippy carried a still sleeping Pilot. They went down the avenue Snippy had used as a runway and turned to the left at the crossroads, making their way to an abandoned shopping center:

'Just perfect, I'm needing some new and fashionable clothes!', the Captain exclaimed as they stepped in the ominously silent place, 'Oh, escalators! Great!'

'They don't even work...', Engie mumbled, dragging his loads:

'Like he cares...', Snippy said lowly. He could hear Pilot's soft snore and he smiled, following the poor Russian engineer. Of course, they ended up using the escalators as normal stairs; 'Mein minions are too heavy, diet for everybody!', Captain declared...

The prodigious group decided to settle down in the middle of one of the main corridors, between a book store and a tattoo shop. Captain walked away, looking for 'zee prettiest shop', and Engie curled up in a blanket, right in the middle of the floor, trying to get some sleep.

Snippy kneeled and carefully laid Pilot in the floor. He managed to improve a bed with a blanket and moved the pilot from the cold floor to the blanket:

'Heavy sleeper...', Snippy whispered with a small smile. Pilot let out a sigh and uncounsciously shivered in delight when Snippy ran a hand down his arm:

'You are asking for another picture...', Engie announced from his spot:

'Shut up...', the sniper mumbled. _Wait a minute... bwah!'_, and he quickly moved away. _What are you doing, Charles? What about the monsters, what about the air quality?_

Snippy stood up and looked for his Geiger counter in the bags:

'Are you going to leave before he wakes up? That's pretty rude...', Engie teased; well, since he couldn't sleep anymore, he'd try to have some fun, and there's nothing better than annoying Charles Snippy.

The sniper found what he was looking for and left.

* * *

Some time later Pilot stretched out and opened his eyes, looking around. That wasn't their base... _UNHOLY FOOTWEAR, THE SLUG KIDNAPPED ME!', _he thought. The poor man changed to a sitting position and tried to stand up, but he lost his balance and fell over his shoulder:

'Seems Captain's therapy doesn't work...', said someone. Pilot looked at that bloody someone and Engie waved his hand, 'Do you need help?'

'Where's the shoe?', Pilot asked. A mixture of feelings fell upon him; disappointment, sadness, sorrow, longing, anger... The Russian man shrugged and leaned his back against the wall:

'Looking for monsters or something...', Engie replayed with a grin; lately he had found out that living with those freaks wasn't that bad... it was really amusing to see Snippy being pranked. He watched as the creepy pilot crawled away, like a snake looking for lunch.

Engie actually felt safer when Pilot and his katana were gone...

Pilot sneaked through the desolated corridors; that shoeish outlaw, that sluggish bandit, that walking rubbish... he had done it again! He had ruined his happyness again! Oh, but he would see... he would be Photoshop's lunch, yes yes!

In a corner, the green-eyed man found a pet shop and he tried to take a look inside it, but the windows were too high. He missed his lovely caterpillar... Oh Captain, why was the magic taking so long? With a sad sigh, Pilot proceeded his quest. All he wanted was to find that stupid sniper and tell him to stop being a stupid. He would also try to find Captain and tell him Snippy was being mean again.

He eventually found Snippy on the second floor, kneeled and trying to release his leg from a small hole in the ground. He seemed to be worried with something, for was keeping a constant look on a nearby shop. Pilot managed to crawl the last steps of the escalator, fury speeding him:

'I HATE YOU SO, SO MUCH!', he yelled. Snippy looked at him and something that looked like an oversized dog jumped out of the shop, its mouth wide open. Pilot quickly removed his katana from the scabbard tied to his back and threw it at the dog, with a precise and perfect movement of his arm.

Snippy felt a slight breeze when the kanata passed next to him, before sticking in the mutant's skull and save him from certain death. Snippy breathed heavily:

'Tha...'

'I shouldn't have saved you, you are horrible, mean, you are a nasty shoe!', Pilot grumbled, stopping next to Snippy. He realized his arms and back hurted, he felt tired and hungry, 'How could you leave me alone with the mechanical sandal?'

'I had to see if this is a safe place for us!', Snippy defended himself and managed to take his leg off the hole:

'Why do you always have to do it? Why not Engie?'

'Bwah?', Snippy frowned; was Pilot upset for his abscense? But why, if he even had managed to get him eaten by a whale?

Silence.

Pilot removed his weapon from the mutant's skull and black blood gushed from the lethal wound. Upset, the green-eyed man cleaned the blade on the mutant's dirty fur and shoved it into the scabbard again. He then sighed and looked at the sniper, sitting contemplative on the floor:

'I'm hungry and my arms hurt...', the pilot mumbled:

'I'm hungry too... let's go back and hope this was the only mutant around here...', the blue-eyed man stood up and gave some hesitant steps, but seemed his leg was not injured. He picked Pilot up bridal style and carried him away:

'Where's your rifle?', Pilot asked as he gladly wrapped his arms around Snippy's neck:

'I forgot it...', shame on him, he was so shocked with his sudden interest in Pilot that he completely forgot his gun... Well, in case of emergency, he could use his imagination and the Geiger counter as a powerful mace... Snippy blushed, 'Thank you, you're very good using that thing...'

'No mangy dog is going to eat my shoe!', Pilot promised. Snippy smiled and tried not to laugh; he didn't want Pilot to think he accepted to be a shoe:

'I'm not a shoe, Pilot...'

'You are. A mean and nasty one. And you'll be Photoshop's lunch.'

Snippy didn't say a word, he didn't want to start a nonsense and useless arguement. Back to their spot, he found Engie surrounded by books he had gotten in the book shop. The Russian man looked at them and was glad his gas mask covered the huge smile that spread on his face:

'Charles, I told you it is very rude to leave your partner before...', a book was kicked right to his face and the engineer curled into a fetal position, covering his head with his arms:

'Are you named Charles? That's such a typical shoe name, ugly as you!', Pilot commented. Snippy placed him over the blanket and kneeled next to him, searching for food in a near bag:

'Have you seen your own name? It sucks too...'

'Pilot is a great name! If Captain chose this name for me, so it must be good!'

'I'm talking about the name on your jacket...', and as he said this, Snippy felt a sudden tension in the air. Pilot looked down and protectively wrapped his arms around himself:

'The name... it doesn't sound like someone I like.', he muttered. And for a long time he didn't say a word.

* * *

The glorious Captain came back and showed his minions some really lovely clothes that Snippy presumed were found in some kind of gothic shop. Actually those clothes seemed pretty cool and manly, but there were four velvet corsets that scared Snippy to death.

Nevermind...

The sniper reported the incident with the mutant and convinced the Captain to change to a better place. So the group went to the ground-floor and occupied a furniture shop, with lots of good hiding/shooting places and close enough to the exit:

'I want a fancy Victorian bed!', the Captain announced and ran into the shop. Engie dragged the bags along:

'I want a big and modern bed! Oh, and I'm leaving this stuff in the kitchen section...'

'Don't tell me you want an airplane-like bed...', Snippy told Pilot. Much for his relief, the man dressed in black shook his head:

'Airplanes are not meant to sleep, otherwise something very bad can happen! But I want a big bed with many, many, many pillows!'

Sadly or luckily, Snippy couldn't tell, it happened that the shop was organized like: kitchen section/bed section/office section/bed section/bathroom section/bed section/living room section/child's room section. It took him a while to find a bed that pleased Pilot, and somehow the sniper didn't feel surprised when the pilot surrended to a huge, round bed covered with a black eiderdown and with dozens of black round pillows over it.

Snippy threw Pilot to the bed and playfully hit him with a pillow. He thought Pilot would interpret that as an agression and would make a huge scandal, but the child-man liked the idea and started a pillow fight.

_This is not supposed to happen, _Snippy thought as he hit Pilot on his side, _I should be outside keeping an eye on intruders, or looking for foor and water, or going in one of Captain's missions! Why doesn't he send us in missions, is he plotting something against Pilot and me? Or just against me?_ But it was so damn fun... again, and while the fierce battle lasted, Snippy completely forgot about his worries, about the apocalypse, about the dead ones and the mutants.

Until finally he was completely exhausted and fell over Pilot, who tried to extend the battle for just some more minutes. Eventually, also the green-eyed man succumbed to his own fatigue and to Snippy's weight. They just laid there, breathing heavily, until Pilot slowly removed their gas masks:

'These are pillows, not katanas...', Snippy said as he felt the cold hair against his sweaty face. Under him, Pilot grinned:

'You are a horrible fighter, shoes can't fight...'

'If I'm a shoe... you're a _pochette._'

Some more struggling and Pilot ended up rolling over Snippy:

'It's lunch time and-oh! Charles Snippy, I thought you were that kind of top guy!', Engie laughed and ran away, 'Hold on, I need my camera!'

'Don't you dare!', Snippy threatened and quickly shoved Pilot aside. But as he did it, he immediately regretted it...

A heavy silence reigned between Pilot and Snippy, and it was only broken by Engie's footsteps and voice:

'I got the camera!', the Russian engineer sang. Yet as he found the tense comrades, he just turned around and left, wondering if he had been the cause.

Pilot rolled off the bed and tried to hide under it:

'I HATE YOU, YOU DID IT AGAIN!', he whimpered. Snippy managed to grab his ankles and stopped him from hiddind under the bed. After some struggling he finally dragged Pilot back to the bed and almost got punched in the nose:

'I'm sorry, I'm really sorry! Yes, I'm a horrible shoe! But I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you!', Snippy apologized, sincerely. Trying to embrace an angry Pilot was almost suicide, 'I just dislike Engie's comments!'

'YOU ARE ALL SHOOOOOEEES!', Pilot cried and bit Snippy's arm, 'SHOES! SLUGS! BOOBS! FRYING PANS!'

Steps were heard and soon Engie and Captain were looking at them. Pilot opened his mouth to talk but the mighty Captain raised a hand and there was complete silence:

'Why are mein minions arguing... again?', he asked in an austere tone. Pilot and Snippy exchanged a look before the green-eyed man spoke:

'Snippy was mean again!'

'It was Gromov!', the sniper accused and appointed the engineer, who gave a step back, 'He still does not respect privacy policies, that's it! And disrespect makes me furious!'

'But I...', Engie halted as the Captain raised his godlike gloved hand again:

'Mr. Engie needs to learn to respect the other minions!', the German man declaired. Pilot clapped his hands; it was always exciting to see Captain's wise judgements, 'I declare that is going to be our watchman for today and tonight, so that and Pilot can be at peace.'

'Bwah, he won't make it!', Snippy grumbled. Gromov crossed his arms:

'Exactly, I won't make it!', he agreeded. Captain let out an impatient sigh:

'Mr. Snippy is on a mission; to keep an eye on Pilot while he recovers! YOU will be our watchman and if today or by tomorrow any of my minions is missing...', Captain did not finish the ominous sentence and walked away, disappearing in the dark corridors of the shop.

Silence.

With a melancholic sigh, Engie left to guard the entrace.

Pilot and Snippy looked at each other and the sniper scratched his head:

'So... I'll get us some food...'

Pilot just nodded.

They had a very silent dinner. Pilot looked miserable, and Snippy concluded it was extremely disturbing to see that beautiful and always smilling face with such a sad expression. He stopped playing with the empty can and threw it away:

'Pilot?'

'I hate you...'

'I'm sorry... lets go for another pillow fight? Do you want to go fly?'

'I don't want to. I want to fly with Captain to the paradise land of pancakes and merryness.', the child-man cried and hid his head under a pillow. Snippy bit his lower lip and gently rubbed the other man's back. He felt him shiver and relax, 'And I'd take Photoshop too...'

'I didn't want to hurt you, it's just... that stupid Gromov, he pisses me off!', oooh, Snippy would so kill that damned camera! Pilot looked at him, his eyes filled with big shiny tears:

'Are you ashamed of me?'

'No!', maybe... who knows? Snippy just knew it wasn't that manly to be photographed lying over other man... But poor Pilot, he had been completely forgotten by that stupid Captain, who had never really cared about him, so to say... Snippy frowned and absently ran his fingers through Pilot's blonde hair, 'What did Captain tell you, yesterday?'

'He was telling me about his great adventures! He told me how he tricked the stupid Lemonade cultists who dared to throw him in the pit of sugary death! I'll kill them all when I can walk again.', Pilot said and his eyes shone with a special shine. Snippy couldn't help but smile; Pilot's devotion was impressing...

No one had ever been devoted to him... no one had ever cared about him... no one had ever given any value to Snippy's efforts... Oh well, what did it matter? He dried Pilot's tears with his thumb and laid down, resting his head over a pillow:

'I guess so. Now, let's take a nap.', the sniper said. Pilot goggled his eyes:

'Really, will you sleep with me?'

'Sleeping with you is a very strong term, let's just say I'm keeping an eye on y-...', his sentence was cut off when Pilot hugged him with the strenght of an anaconda. The sniper coughed and the pilot snuggled on his chest, looking much smaller and fragile. And cute and lovely and sweet:

'Even though you are a bad shoe, I like to sleep with you.', the green-eyed man whispered.

* * *

**Wee, review?**

**Another (cool) note: **I think this chapter was getting too big, I had to stop it here!


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's (perfekt) note: **thanks for the reviews and favs and follows. :)

* * *

Snippy swore that he would never let Pilot take a nap again...

He expected that the child-man would keep calm and cute, or ask him to tell stories about Captain or, in the worst of scenarios, start another pillow fight. But no... an after-nap Pilot was much more devastating than a nuclear blast.

And that was how Snippy found himself on the roof, with many balloons being tied to his body:

'If it worked with Photoshop, it will work with you!', Pilot announced; he was such a good minion, going on an self-proposed mission and giving Snippy the incredible opportunity to fly! Well... if the sniper survived, he'd call his glorious Captain. Just some more balloons and the flying sniper would be ready. To that task, he had already emptied ten packages of baloons and three helium bottles:

'How did I let this happen?', Snippy cried. He had been so happy, lying down in the bed without nothing to do... 'Pilot, this is not going to work...'

'Shut up, pessimistic shoe...', Pilot demanded as he tied some more balloons on Snippy.

And the to be flying sniper began to feel... light. Very light. Five last balloons and Snippy could barely touch the floor with his feet:

'Bwah!', crap, Pilot's idea was working! Suddenly afraid of being taken away by the non-existent wind, Snippy held Pilot's hand. Much for his despair, the green-eyed man dragged himself and Snippy to the edge of the roof:

'If you see Captain down there, will you tell him I found flying devices?', and not waiting for an answer, the pilot pushed Snippy. Death pale, the sniper watched as the floor went away and he floated in the air, above the dead city. He began to swim, trying to go back to the roof from where Pilot watched, but he slowly began to sink in the emptiness.

The blue-eyed man despairingly tried to reach one of the broken windows of the shopping center, but the radioactive gravity kept pulling him down at a safe distance from the building. It was a slow, sickening way down, and all the sniper could do was try to relax and count how many skeletons were left in the street below him...

However, a four-eyed raven showed up from nowhere and flew around Snippy, cawing agressively. The sniper waved his arms, trying to scare the bloody creature, but the best he did was catch the attention of another raven. _Bwah... I can't shoot them, I'm so covered in balloons that I'd probably blow up a few!_, and Snippy didn't want to go down that fast...

Horrified, Snippy realized that the ravens seemed now interested in the balloons... not good!:

'Shoo! Shoo!', the poor man tried. One of the ravens tilted its head and pecked a balloon.

POW!

_'Bwaaaaaah...'_

POW! POW! POW! POW! POW!

Snippy's speed increased dangerously and the poor sniper tried to hold onto something, but it was all in vain. Soon he'd collide with the ground and, at that speed, he'd surely break something... He wondered if Pilot had planned this, _No, he wouldn't do this... he's... he's nicier now, he wouldn't want to harm me... all he wanted was to make me fly, yes! _

The ground was so close now! Snippy tried to think in a good position to minimize the damages, but he couldn't come up with anything... oh well, let it be...

Then suddenly Photoshop emerged from the ground and small pieces of concrete and dirt hit Snippy, who landed seconds later over the giant worm. Oh, he never thought he would be pleased to see that beast!

But before he could rejoice, the caterpillar roared and turned her head at him, looking very angry:

'Look, I...', Snippy tried to excuse. _Am I talking to a giant caterpillar?_,before he could finish, the giant worm crawled away at high speed. Snippy tried to hold on her skin but he ended up slipping and fell over a semi-burnt car, hitting the windshield with his head, breaking it and finally hitting his head against the occupant's skull. The skull moved backwards and the jaw dropped to the skeleton's lap.

Snippy wasn't unconscious, but he couldn't free his head...

* * *

Pilot watched as Snippy started to go down and he quickly crawled inside the shopping center and tried to hurry up to go to the ground floor. When he finally managed to get there and go outside, he noticed the hole where Photoshop had emerged and his heart skipped a beat:

'Snippy?', he called, looking into the hole. Ooohh, stupid, stupid shoe, always getting in troubles! No answer. The pilot blinked his eyes, not knowing what to do. In a normal situation, he would celebrate and dance and look for confetti... but in that moment he was truely worried with the sniper. He called again, and again no answer.

Crying, the pilot crawled back to the shopping center and dragged Engie by a leg, not even caring that the engineer was the new watchman:

'Go there and rescue Snippy!', Pilot demanded and appointed the hole:

'No way, go there yourself!', Engie replayed in a hysterical tone. Pilot clenched his jaw; Snippy could be seriously injured and that boob was refusing to cooperate! With a slow movement, Pilot removed his katana from the scabbard and appointed it to Engie:

'FETCH SNIPPY, YOU SLUG!', he yelled. With a cry, Engie hurried to go down the hole, holding on every little rock he came across with to avoid a fall into the darkness.

Pilot put the katana in the scabbard again and waited. He was about to ask Engie if he had already found Snippy when he noticed a trail leaving the hole. A familiar trail. Photoshop's trail.

Photoshop could help him! She'd surely be much more useful than that scientific crying shame! So Pilot happily crawled away, following the trail. It didn't take much time until he found Snippy trapped in the car, a bunch of red balloons still tied to him. The green-eyed man smilled and forced his sore arms to drag his body faster:

'Snippy!', he called and hoisted himself to the front of the car. He petted Snippy's back and untied the surviving balloons, 'You're free now! Fly my friends, fly!'

Pilot then studied the situation and concluded the fastest and easiest way to free Snippy was to break the windshield. He couldn't kick it, and he wasn't sure about punching it, but using a rock wasn't that impressing. He liked to impress, to show he could make it. Especially if the Captain was watching. That was not the case, but still Pilot closed his fist and punched the windshield, one, two, three times, until it cracked and broke. Snippy slowly moved his neck, shaking off little pieces of glass:

'Thanks...', he mumbled. Much for his surprise, Pilot pulled him to a hug:

'Stupid shoe, you scared me! How did you manage to land here?', talking about shoe... Engie! Pilot goggled his eyes and demanded to be carried back.

Sore, tired and dizzy, Snippy carried Pilot back to the shopping center while telling his fantastic tale. Pilot nearly jumped to the ground as they got close to the hole:

'Engie, are you there?', he called into the hole:

'Why should he be there?', Snippy asked and sat in the ground. If flying was like that, he didn't want to do it again. Pilot seemed very nervous, as the engineer didn't answer:

'I thought you had done this hole so I told him to get you back!', the pilot explained and called again.

Behind his mask Snippy smiled, touched. Pilot had sent Engie into a hole... for him? Oh well... now he had to go down there and rescue Engie...

He was about stand up again when Engie crawled out of the hole, trembling and whimpering in Russian. Pilot rolled his eyes:

'Useless boob, I had to find Snippy by myself!', he explained. The three men just stared at each other for a while, until suddenly something came up to Snippy's mind:

'If I was with Pilot and Pilot was with me, and if Engie was in the hole... who... who was guarding our supplies?'

Blue and amber lenses stared at green ones. Then everyone rushed to the furniture store, Pilot being the last one. Much for their relief, everything was carefuly hidden in the kitchen section:

'I need some rest...', Snippy mumbled and sat over a table, 'Pilot, where are you?'

'Have you lost something, mein snippy-sniper?', Captain's voice sounded from one of the dark corridors. Purple lenses shone, unpleased, and Captain joined Snippy and Engie carrying Pilot. It was an honour, but the pilot knew he was in troubles...

And all of that because that shoe! Why did Pilot care for him, why had he been such a bad minion just because he was worried with Snippy?

The Captain placed the green-eyed man over the table next to Snippy and crossed his arms:

'Mein glorious person knows someone abandoned the post...', the German man started, 'Mein magnificent myself doesn't like disobedience... Mr. Engie?'

'I... it was my fault...', Pilot stammered sadly. What a shame, what a disgrace! That pair of purple lenses turned to Pilot, curiousity and disbelief; Pilot... his best minion...? The child-man looked around nervously, and he tried really hard to fight the tears and the weakness of his voice, 'I... I thought Snippy was in troubles and... and I called Engie to help me and...'

'He threatened me with that damned katana!', Engie accused:

'I... I... I just wanted to help!', Pilot cried and hid his face on his hands; oh the shame, oh the ignominy! What would Captain think? What terrible punishment would be given to him? He felt a hand on his shoulder and he recognized that comforting touch; Snippy:

'He was making a flying thingy for you, but there was an accident and he was worried with me, he didn't comit any crime!', the sniper objected. So much drama because Engie had left his post and nobody cared about the traumatized sniper...

Captain studied his minions; an offended engineer, an exhausted sniper and a chaos-maker pilot... He sighed and clapped his hands:

'I see there is a very bad environment among my troops!', he declared, 'Mr. Snippy is going back to his normal affairs and Mr. Engie will keep an eye on Pilot while he recovers.'

Silence. Pilot was sobbing lowly; he didn't want to be with Engie! Of course that after all this mess, he didn't deserve the company nor the magic therapy of his Captain... but at least he wanted to stay with Snippy. The slug was not that bad, especially at night!

Pilot wanted to object, wanted to beg Captain to have mercy on his soul and let him stay with Snippy... but he couldn't do it! He couldn't disappoint more his beloved Captain!:

'But... keeping an eye on Pilot is actually the best mission you ever gave me!', Snippy complained, voicing Pilot's problem. But the Captain didn't say a word and left.

_Bwah..._

For a while, nobody said a word. Engie didn't want to walk around with the creepy psychotic pilot, Pilot didn't want to stay with the science man and Snippy didn't want to be sent on stupid and useless missions again. But he knew that if he tried to keep Pilot, the green-eyed man would probably flee, crying that he could not disobey anymore.

* * *

That night Snippy took his place at the entrace of the shop and lit a small bonfire. Next to him was an empty can and his unlocked rifle. Behind the goggles, his eyes scanned the surrounding darkness, waiting to detect movement or the glowing eyes of the mutant beasts. For five minutes he was able to focus on this, but slowly his mind abandoned that improvised surveillance post as the Sniper began to think about Pilot.

Pilot.

That damned child-man. That irritating creature that had schemed the most incredible and absurd plans to get rid of him, plans that were probably horribly efficient too... That very mentally unstable human who was sweet and innocent like a child in a moment, and a killing machine in the other. Poor Pilot, who still believed the Captain could make him walk again...

The sniper smiled sadly as he remembered how good it felt to have him on his arms. But why? He had never been much of a sensitive/emotional man, and even if there were only him and Pilot, he'd run away and not glance behind. He just couldn't understand that sudden and fresh bound to the green eyed man. Pity? Not that much anymore... Comradeship? Probably... Friendship? Hmm... if a miracle happened and Pilot could walk again, the sniper was sure it all would go back to the good old days of conflict...

For the first time, that sorrowful loneliness bothered the sniper...

Inside the shop, laid in a huge modern bed, Pilot couldn't sleep. He didn't want to, now that he knew there was someone who could relieve him from those maddening voices and flashbacks. He could be a little happy fool, but he was no masochist.

The man dressed in black sighed deeply; how he wished Mr. Kittyhawk was there, but the pilot was still hurt with the terrible betrayal... Another sigh; how he wished Captain was there... but he was a horrible minion and did not deserve Captain's holy presence. A last sigh; how he wished Snippy was there...

Snippy was not magic, not even close to Harry Potter! He was not wise nor immortal, he was not a boot but he also wasn't a shoe... at least, a very ugly shoe... The sniper was warm and soft like a marshmallow, just what Pilot needed...

Engie surely wasn't a marshmallow, that blasted gangling gas grips...

The Pilot looked at the other side of the bed, where Engie had curled up with his arms around his neck, hoping it would protect him from an eventual attack from the green eyed man. Slowly and carefuly, Pilot stretched his arms and put is hands on the ground, and with an incredible balance and strenght he raised his torso, followed by his liveless legs, and like a contortionist he flexed his back and watched as the tips of his boots touched the floor. He then remembered he couldn't use his legs...

_SHOOOOOEEEEEES!_

He just had to walk on his arms... yes, he could make it... Pilot took a deep breath and there he went, looking for Snippy. He wanted that well-being again, and to have that he was ready to walk on his arms, cross the dark and creepy corridors of the shop and find Snippy.

Pilot was almost reaching the end of a section when he hit his head on something. It seemed a leg. He was about to pick up his katana when the owner of that leg seized him:

'Mein pilot, where are you going?', Captain asked and his glowing purple lenses met Pilot's. The poor pilot gulped:

'I... I can't sleep and I... I was going to see if Snippy wanted help...', he mumbled. Ooohh, what a horrible situation! Pilot felt tears burning his eyes, both frustration for not reaching his objective and grief for disappointing his beloved Captain again.

He then realized he was being carried and soon Captain laid him on what seemed to be a poor imitation of a Victorian bed:

'And why can't you sleep? Does Mr. Engie snore?', the German man sat next to Pilot, but in the darkness they could only see each other lenses. Pilot scratched his head:

'I don't like Engie... he's a mean shoe. Snippy is a shoe too, but a better one.', he mumbled, 'But I like you the most! I love you, I'm so sorry for being a bad minion!'

'It's ok, mein pilot, it's ok.', the Captain replayed and patted Pilot's hand, 'Green and blue fit together, it's a delicious and sexy blend! Now sleep, zee Captain will watch you and make sure nobody disturbs your sleep.'

What an honour...! Pilot wanted to cry tears of joy, but he refrained his emotions. He rested his head on a soft pillow:

'Thank you, my Captain.', he whispered before closing his eyes.

But he had no peaceful night.

* * *

When Pilot woke up, Captain was nowhere to be seen. The green eyed man felt his heart heavy; he didn't like to wake up alone. But... Captain was just too great for him, he was too busy ruling Captania.

Snippy...

Pilot had had dreams with flames and spinning skies. He rolled off the bed and crawled away, looking for Snippy. He wasn't at the entrance of the shop, so the pilot supposed he should be in one of the floors above. With a sigh, he crawled up the stairs:

'Sni-pey shoe, where are you?', he called. _I miss you... _

The green eyed man dragged himself through the first floor, lurking into the abandoned shops and calling for the sniper. He was about to move to the stairs and go to the second floor when he heard something, coming from what had once been the bathrooms. He couldn't help but smile and crawled in the direction of the sound:

'Snippy?'

But from behind the doors came some sort of dog, or wolf, or werewolf, and the bony monster ran to Pilot. The man dressed in black grabbed the hilt of the katana... or tried to, because he then remembered he had left it next to Engie's bed...

_Jiggly Birkenstock..._ _ok, try to bite me!_, and Pilot quickly laid over his backs. He just hoped the beast would jump at his neck and don't bite his legs...

The pilot calculated it well; the creature opened its huge mouth full of putrid sharp fangs and jumped at the man's neck. Pilot then clasped his hands around the creature's neck, a mortal iron grip. While the beast fought for freedom, roaring hoarsely and sticking its claws on Pilot's arms, the green eyed man saw himself again in that airplane and felt that same power; he could everything, other's faith was at his hands, he could give or take lifes.

The beast dying slowly at his hands felt like the yoke from that bomber. He grinned ominously as the mutant struggled weakly. He could see the smoke, he could see the flames. Captain was there, telling him how skilled he was.

_Murderer!_

_Murderer!_

_Murderer!_

_Murderer!_

_MURDERER!_

__The chaos, the screams, people running back and forth, the flames... the flames... the sky spinning around...

The fear... Death was so close...

Captain had saved him.

And he had looked around and had seen all the destruction he had caused, all the people he had killed.

With a scream, Pilot tossed the mutant corpse and crawled away, crying.

_Snippy, make it stop!_


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's (useful) note: **thanks for the reviews and favs and follows. :)

* * *

Snippy had just finished the patrol and was going back to the furniture shop. No mutant had came across his way. He turned a corner and made his way to the broken escalator, went down and crossed the long corridor with shops to reach the other escalator.

That was when he heard a scream. The sniper didn't think twice and ran to where the scream had came from, and he arrived right on time to see Pilot crawling away from the dead mutant. Snippy's heart skipped a beat and he kneeled next to the crying pilot. He thought about asking what had happened, but he noticed the bloodstains on Pilot's arms. Also, the man dressed in black had already curled up next to him, sobbing something uncomprehensible. Snippy picked him up bridal style and ran down the escalator, before some other mutant could show up. A sudden anger pierced the sniper's heart; how could Engie let the handicapped pilot crawl around alone, without his katana?

He went straight to their bed and laid down the pilot. Their bed? Oh, nevermind... Snippy removed his and Pilot's facewear and held his trembling hands:

'Snippy, make it stop!', the blond haired man cried, covering his head with his arms and curling up in a ball. The blue eyed man didn't know what he was supposed to stop, therefore he didn't know exactly what to do.

He stared at Pilot for a while, it was horrible to see that joyful and annoying brat like that. It was not right, it was not like that things were supposed to be. Snippy put his rifle aside and sat at the edge of the bed, pulling Pilot to a hug. For some seconds, the man dressed in black struggled weakly and mumbled things that sounded like 'murderer', but he ended up snuggling on Snippy:

'What am I supposed to stop?', Snippy asked and he looked again at the bloodstains on the pilot's jacket:

'The voices...', the other man whispered:

'What voices?'

'One million voices of Eureka still sing in my cranium.', Pilot paused and looked up at Snippy, 'They ask me to stop... I know that they are all just dust now, and what has been done cannot be retracted.', the green eyed man looked down again and buried his head on Snippy's chest, 'It's silence again. I think the voices are afraid of shoes, should I walk around with a shoe on my head?'

Snippy just frowned but didn't feel like thinking about that. At least, not in that moment. Pilot allowed him to remove his jacket and examine his arms; the cuts weren't too deep, the thick leather jacket had protected the fragile pale skin:

'I'll be back in a moment.', Snippy promised and managed to release from Pilot's grip. He ran to the kitchen section, where he found Engie reading one of the books he had brought from the book shop. The Russian engineer raised an eyebrow as he watched Snippy frantically looking for one of the first-aid kits:

'What are you looking for?', he asked. He got his answer as the sniper raised one of the kits and made his way back to the bed section where Pilot was. The sniper sat next to the pilot and washed his wounds carefully. He thought it so unreal, how could someone like Pilot get hurt?:

'Did... did you killed the mutant... with your hands? Did you strangle it?', the sniper then asked. His eyes went wide open in astonishment as the pilot nodded:

'Do gelatines fly?', the green eyed man asked as Snippy bandaged his arms, 'Do you think I can chase flying gelatines with an airplane? I could use a fishing rod, or a fishing net... Captain would be pleased with some fresh gelatine, wouldn't he?'

Snippy caught himself smilling and nodding. Pilot dressed his jacket again and an anguished expression grew on his face as he looked at the palms of his hands. He showed them to the sniper:

'Bloodstained.', he said, but Snippy couldn't see those bloodstains. He supposed the pilot had had a tough night and the fact that he was opening his heart to him made the sniper blush. The blush vanished as the pilot smiled and jiggled himself, 'I slept with Captain! Captain is awesome, he's great, he's more divine that God. No, he's God! Yes, Captain is God.'

'But you had nightmares.', Snippy acused with a light jealous tone. _Bwah?! It's not even my business!_

The smile was gone from Pilot's face. Yes, he had nightmares... why couldn't Captain protect him from the voices and flashbacks? Maybe that was some sort of property that only shoes had! But Engie was a shoe, and he didn't stop the voices... so, only sniper-shoes could stop voices? Oowww, why was life so complicated?

Well, Pilot would think about that later. He moved closer to Snippy and rested his head on his shoulder:

'I want to go outside. I miss Photoshop. And I miss Mr. Kittyhawk, I think that as soon as I can walk again I'm going back and get him.'

'We'll go outside later, I need to find Captain and tell him this is not a safe place.', the sniper promised:

'But if we go together I'll be disobeying Captain again!'

Snippy just sighed and wondered if Pilot could understand how discordant he was. Probably not, poor soul, and he probably would never realize he could hurt himself and someone else...

* * *

It was with some excitement that Captain declaired 'zee glorious exodus for another delicious base'. He didn't say anything about Snippy carrying Pilot, who completely forgot about his big dillemas and pretended to be an airplane. Engie carried the bags again...

In a first stage, Snippy ran in circles around Captain and Engie, much for Pilot's happiness. But as the day gone by and they kept walking, and the piles of junk and metal and steel and lost bones grew, the sniper queued with Engie and Captain. At some point Photoshop followed them and Snippy had to sprint because Pilot somehow incited the giant caterpillar to attack the poor sniper.

At the end of the day Captain decided they'd stay in an old block of flats. Only the first 3 floors seemed to be in good conditions...

The German man sipped his tea and then appointed with the mug to Snippy:

'Mein snippy-sexy-sniper, go in there and make sure everything is perfect to welcome me and my troops.', he ordered.

_Bwah..., _and the sniper carefuly put Pilot on the ground. He unlocked his rifle and made his way into the block of flats.

There were no mutants, the radiation levels were practically null and at least the first floor was in very good conditions. Snippy smiled; it's not everyday you find such a base! There were two bedrooms, a living room and a tiny bathroom and kitchen.

They gathered in the living room. Snippy, Pilot and Engie shared the couch and Captain stood in front of them, looking around:

'Excelent, excelent!', he exclaimed, 'Oh, we even have a TV! Mr. Engie, you'll fix the TV so we can watch Eurovision!'

'But...', Engie tried. Sitting between Snippy and Engie, Pilot slapped the engineer's head:

'No 'but' when Captain tells you to do something!', he said:

'Now mein minions,', Captain proceeded as if nothing happened, 'I shall retire to my royal quarters.'

'Captain, can I keep Pilot?', Snippy asked. He couldn't remember thinking about formulation the question. _Bwah... _

Pilot looked at him, hope shining on his green lenses. Engie giggled. Captain slowly turned around to face Snippy and the small group went silent. Was Captain thinking about it or mocking the sniper?

Snippy was going to ask again when the Captain clapped his hands and tilted his head:

'No!', it was the disappointing answer, 'You and Pilot are friends now, but Mr. Engie and Pilot need some time together so that all mein minions can be good friends!'

And he left, a trail of steam coming from his mug.

The three men were silent for a while, until Engie stood up and dragged the bags to the kitchen. Snippy couldn't tell if he was grateful for being left alone with Pilot or angry at the Russian for doing that. By his side, Pilot looked sadly at his boots. Carefuly, the sniper placed a hand over Pilot's shoulder but he moved away:

'I hate you, go away.', the green eyed man mumbled, and Snippy froze:

'Why?'

'Go away!', _before I disobey again!_

The sniper left and occupied the other free room. It was a small one, with a single bed covered with ashes. By the faded floral decorations, Snippy could tell it had been a girl's room. He wondered if the ashes over the bed were the girl or some eventual plushies. Mercilessly angry, the sniper shook off the dust, threw his rifle and facewear to the floor and threw himself over the bed.

Stupid Pilot...

* * *

Engie and Pilot found themselves having dinner alone. Captain could live of his awesomeness, he didn't need food or water. Just his mighty tea. But the sniper's absecense bothered the pilot; he wanted and didn't want him.

The Russian man cleared his throat:

'So... do you want the couch?', he asked. He whimpered as the green eyed man threw the empty can at his head:

'DO NOT BUY ME WITH YOUR FALSE KINDNESS, SCIENCE MAN!', he raged, crawling under the table and curling up. Engie smoothed his brown hair, trying to keep calm; if he tried something against Pilot, he would be the seriously injured one... So with no more words, the Russian man laid on the couch, his backs turned at the pilot.

And the house was silent and dark. But not for Pilot.

The green eyed man sighed sadly; if Mr. Kittyhawk was there, he could talk to him. Talking to no one is no fun... Better, if Snippy was there...

But no! The Captain had told him to stay with Engie, and with the ugly flatform he'd stay...

But Snippy... and it was night, the Captain was sleeping, he would never know...

But no, but no! The Captain knows EVERYTHING!

So... he would know Pilot was really, really sorry and would gladly accept future punishments...

Silently, the Pilot crawled away to the corridor. At his left was a closed door, he just hoped it was Snippy's room... Holding to the doorjambs, he managed to reach the knob and open the door; yes, it was Snippy's room!

With a victorious smile, the pilot crawled into the room, closed the door and dragged himself to the bed. Snippy seemed to be asleep, his jacket had been placed over the bedside table and he had his backs turned to the door. Carefully, Pilot climbed to the bed.

The feeling of something lying next to him made Snippy turn around and meet Pilot's electrifying green eyes:

'Don't tell the Captain I'm here, shoe!', the blond haired man begged.

* * *

**Wee, review?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's (weeee) note: **thanks for all the reviews and favs and follows. \m/ ò3ó

* * *

'Bwah...', was the muttered answer. Snippy frowned as Pilot shamelessly cuddled on him, 'Why are you here, you told me to leave and that you hated me!'

Pilot looked at him, sad and ashamed. His reasons seemed legit, but he wasn't sure if he could explain himself:

'I don't want to be a bad minion like you and Engie,', he started, 'but... I need you. The voices...'

'But you didn't need me, some days ago.', Snippy accused. Some days ago, when Pilot could jump and run and drive him crazy... poor child-man...

The green eyed man smoothed the fabric of Snippy's shirt and stopped his hand right over the scar left by Cancer. Sometimes it ached so badly, like if something sharp constantly piercing him. The sniper wondered if Pilot's scar was like that too:

'Some days ago I was a happy and useful minion.', the child-man said bitterly, 'I could fly by my own, play with Photoshop and my skeleton friends and go on Captain's glorious missions. I didn't have time to sleep. The voices were there, but they were weak. But now they are strong. But you stop them.', a sigh, 'And I need you, Captain is too busy to take care of me, and I don't deserve it after what I did. And Engie sucks! And you're not that bad...'

Snippy smiled; it was the first time in his life that someone had told him those simple words: I need you. No one had needed him in the GOOD Directorate, and even in this post-apocalyptic world, nobody needed him; Captain was Captain, no words needed to describe that self-centered and insane German, and Engie could easily find his way back to his precious bunker and live there the rest of his days. But from now on Pilot needed someone.

And Captain and Engie had never thanked him for risking his life in stupid missions and for finding food and water. They had never asked him if he was okay, they had never cared if he was injured or not.

And even though Pilot was not exactly the best of friends, there he was, looking for him. Making him feel useful. Giving a meaning to that stupid and nonsense life. Making him feel strong and powerful and warm.

He wrapped his arms around Pilot and stirred his hair:

'Where is Mr. Kittyhawk?', the sniper asked:

'Not far from the base before the shopping center, the house has drawings on the wall. I think... I'm not sure, maybe he moved... But you can ask Photoshop, she knows. Or maybe Steve...', the pilot mumbled, his eyes closed:

'Who's Steve?'

'One of my skeleton friends. Why do you want to know, shoe?'

'Would you want me to get him back?', hearing this, Pilot rested his chin on Snippy's chest and looked at him, eyes wide open and a huge smile, like a child on Christmas Eve:

'Would you do it?'

The sniper nodded and was nearly strangled by Pilot's strong hug.

* * *

The following day Snippy woke up before dawn. Or what was the equivalent of dawn. Pilot was still asleep but he woke him up, he didn't want another argument. Carefuly, he left the green eyed man in the living room before leaving, both of them hoping it would look like nothing had happened.

Outside a thick mixture of smog and humid mist limited the sniper's vision. He unlocked his rifle and, head up high, there he went; he had to travel for a long distance and he wanted to be back before the nightfall. So he quicked his step, Snippy to the rescue. Pilot's informations hadn't been much useful, but he would try.

Snippy walked the whole morning, but the mixture of smog and mist didn't vanish. This bothered the sniper. And it bothered him even more when he bumped into something:

'Bwah... Photoshop, is this you?', he asked and petted the thing. It felt like Photoshop... but it didn't move and seemed a little smaller. The sniper frowned and, careful, contoured the obstacle and looked for its head, wondering if something bad had happened to the caterpillar. Pilot would be devasted if something had really happened...

With so much smog, Snippy didn't realize he followed the tongue of a huge serpent-like mutant and entered its mouth... When he noticed it was too dark there it was already late, the mouth was closed. _Bwah... because of a plushie! A PLUSHIE!_, he tought, wondering how many bullets he would need to solve his problem. He was about to shoot the snake's palate when something dropped on his goggles. Something dark and sticky, something Snippy supposed was the snake's saliva.

He had to worry up... He positioned the gun and pulled the trigger. A shot, and it angered the snake. More of that substance envolved the sniper and, before he could shoot again, the snake swallowed him. It was a blind fall and it ended in the acid liquid inside the snake's stomach.

Panic took over the sniper; he couldn't see and he didn't know if his fireproof clothes were also acid proof. And he didn't want to find out. He had let go his rifle when the snake had swalloed him, but he still had a pocketknife. He began to feel like someone was slowly dropping boiling oil on the backs of his hands and legs.

_'What the fuck do I do?'_, he thought, holding tightly his knife. He swam in the acid and knocked on something that felt like rubber. The snake's stomach wall, he hoped. He didn't have another solution... Calling all his strenght, he began to stab the mutant. One, two, three, four, five stabs and he managed to pierce the stomach. It now felt like his back burned. Biting his lower lip, the sniper stabbed the mutant again, until finally the damage was big enough.

The snake floundered and screaked, writhing in agony as its stomach acid flooded its huge body, burning it inside. It screacked louder when the sniper managed to get out the stomach and tear off its sensitive skin, opening a hole. Blood and Snippy gushed to the ground. The sniper ran away, he wouldn't stay there to look for his rifle and take the risk, more mutants could, and certainly would, show up. So he just ran, cursing and hissing in pain.

Fortunately he didn't find more mutants and it was already past noon when the sniper found himself at the doors of the old base. It didn't have doors, but... Now, a house with drawings on the wall... Snippy looked around, there here thousends of houses in that area, it could be any of them. If he just had a more precise information...

With a resigned 'bwah...', the sniper looked for the bloody house. And he could barely believe that he found it at the second try! Yes, there it was, Mr. Kittyhawk and two toy cups of tea over what seemed to be a table and, behind these items, a wall covered in drawings. Snippy sighed in relief and hurried to shove the plushie and the two cups into his pockets.

Now he just had to run all the way back again...

* * *

Some five minutes after the sniper left, Captain jumped into the living room, a poorly drawn German flag on a paper in a hand and his mug in the other hand:

'EUROVISION DAY, MEIN MINIONS!', he announced, and his hysterical and loud tone made Engie turn around on the couch and roll to the floor, 'Mr. Engie, fix the TV, quick! You have until dinner time!'

'But... without electricity it will never work!', the Russian replayed. Much for his doom, the Captain waved his hand in disdain:

'Nonsense, my jiggly engineer. You may have your breakfast and start working, this is a very important mission.', then that magnificent figure looked at Pilot, who gulped, 'Come with me, mein pilot.', and saying this the Captain left his mug and flag over a small table between the couch and the TV and picked up Pilot.

The green eyed man gaped in panic; would Captain throw him away? Feed him to radioactive spiders? Drown him in the sea? No, Captain just dropped the pilot on the bed and crossed his arms:

'Mein pilot is a very silent one, but he didn't notice his Captain's comfortable room has no door... which means that his Captain, who already sees EVERYTHING, sees even MORE!'

Pilot felt so sick he'd faint... He tried to excuse but the Captain raised a hand and he shut his mouth:

'Green and blue together are sexy and delicious, and Captania needs love. It's okay, mein flying disaster, you can have mein snippy-sniper. But... before you turn into a punk boob like Mr. Snippy, I shall punish you, so you will learn to obey your Captain. I will tell you when you can share a deliciously warm bed with Mr. Snippy again.'

Love? Was Captain referring Pilot's love for him? Pilot didn't love Snippy... right? They were just... friends. Yes, friends. Nothing else. A little confused, Pilot just nodded, tears burning his green eyes; what a marvelous, stupendous Captain he had! The poor child-man couldn't help it and he dared to hold his Captain's gloved hand and kiss it:

'I'll do everything!', he cried:

'Good. Mein boots need a pillow today, they feel tired.'

And that was how Pilot ended up lying on the floor with Captain sat on the couch, resting his feet over him. What an honour, to have Captain's magic heelpieces digging into his spine!

Engie was behind the TV pretending to be busy. That German idiot, couldn't he understant that basic issue? No electricity, no TV! Engie sighed and tried to put on a sad tone:

'I'm sorry but... I can't fix this. I don't know how to.', he said, looking at the Captain. Captain sipped some more tea from his mug and then threw a small book at Engie. It hit the Russian man in the nose and he fell over his backs, pressing his hands over the injured area and cursing in Russian:

'Do not fear, mein loyal Engie! You can follow the instructions and tips of that lovely book!', Captain exclaimed:

'Captain, you are so clever!', Pilot praised. Captain patted the pilot's legs:

'I know, I know... now Mr. Engie, give us Eurovision!'

'I'M BLEEDING!', Engie cried and peeked from behind the TV; in fact, he was beeling from his nose, 'MY PERFECT NOSE! WHAT IF IT'S BROKEN?'

'Nonsense, scientific Bloody Mary! Fix the TV and the pain will go away.' Captain sipped some tea and then frowned, 'I hope Mr. Snippy comes back in time to see Eurovision with us...'

Pilot hoped it too.

The day gone by and Engie, with an aching nose, didn't fix the TV. He didn't even had dinner, he was afraid the pain would make him puke. And he got even more frightened when Captain put his mug aside and joined his hands on his lap:

'You failed your mission, I'm disappointed.', he started. Pilot looked at Engie and smirked evily, 'You shall be punished!'

'But a TV doesn't work without electricity, why can't you understand that, WHY?', the Russian engineer cried. Captain ignored him:

'You shall perform Eurovision for me and Pilot and Mr. Snippy, if he comes in time. And you shall perform the commercials too.', the German declared. Pilot clapped his hands.

Engie fell to his knees, pulling his hair:

'HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PERFORM EUROVISION?'

'You have five minutes before it starts, I'm counting!'

Nonsense! Boobery! Engie just gaped, death pale, and prepared to scream again and tell Captain to fuck off. But then he noticed Pilot pointing his katana with the head, the same evil smirk on his lips. Engie sniffed sadly and stood up, his head low:

'Fine... I'll do it...'

Pilot couldn't remember if he had ever watched Eurovision, but if it was like what Engie was doing, it sucked... Soon he lost his interest in the poor Russian's performance and he looked at his hands, thoughtful; love? He wanted to ask Captain if the German knew that he loved him... but of course Captain knew it, he was wise and Pilot was always telling him that. Having Captain's snippy-sniper? What had he meant with that? Sharing a warm bed? Pilot found himself blushing and smilling.

The night grew darker.

A sudden tumult outside interrupted Finland's preformance. Then the sound of a door opening and closing announced Snippy's arrival. Pilot thought about going to see if was everything ok with the sniper, but he remembered he was a pillow, and pillows don't greet snipers.

Snippy appeared at the door, partially covered in mug, stinking and about to collapse of exhaustion. Slowly, he lifted his goggles just to be sure he was seeing right:

'Engie... is... is that you? Why do you have a curtain wrapped around you?', the sniper asked out of breath. Engie blushed and lowered the pen that was supposed to be a microphone before the sniper could see that too:

'Mr. Snippy, join us to watch Eurovision!', Captain said, 'It's a shame you missed the first part, I think now we're going to the commercials!'

Snippy just blinked his eyes, completelly lost. He watched as Engie unwrapped the green curtain and improved something promoting a Russian airline company. Then Engie picked up a yellowish pillowcase and put it on his head:

'And we are back to Captania, to the 666th Eurovision Festival!', he announced.

The sniper smiled and slowly made his way to the couch. He would not miss that, he just couldn't miss that! He had a seat next to Captain and frowned as he realized what the German man was doing with the pilot. He thought about objecting, but Pilot was surely happy, being a carpet or pillow or just ground for his Captain.

And Pilot's happiness was what mattered to him now.

For some unknown reason, Germany won the Eurovision with the song 'Jägermeistered Rainbowed Cupcake'. Visibly satisfied, Captain made his way to his room, wishing his minions a good night. When the Captain left, Engie fell on the floor and curled up crying in Russian. Pilot managed to climb to the couch, ignoring the pain on his backs, and dragged himself next to Snippy. The sniper shook his head:

'I'm covered in mutant's stomach acid, in toxic mud and I stink...', he enumerated. Too late, Pilot had already hugged him:

'You need a bath, poor shoe!', the green eyed man concluded, 'Are you gammy? Are you hungry? Are you thirsty? Captain knows about last night and my punishmed was to be a pillow for his boots, it was such an honour! But he says you and I can share a bed again soon and...'

'Here's Mr. Kittyhawk.', Snippy smiled and handed him the plushie and the two cups of tea, 'I'm okay, thanks.'

'You're not okay, I'm not stupid, you stupid shoe...', Pilot mumbled, lovingly embracing his toy. Snippy shook his head again:

'You don't need to worry. Now that you have Mr. Kittyhawk you'll have a better night, right?', and the pilot nodded happily. Snippy smiled again and stood up. He was a walking pain...

The sniper make his way to the door but stopped for a few seconds next to Engie. The poor Russian was crying silently and his face was covered in dry blood. Snippy didn't know exactly what had happened, but seeing him like that was a good compensation for leaving Pilot escape unarmed.

Snippy closed the door of his room and leaned against it for a while, looking a round. A smile played on his lips.

_'You need a bath, poor shoe! Are you gammy? Are you hungry? Are you thirsty? Captain knows about last night and my punishment was to be a pillow for his boots, it was such an honour! But he says you and me can share a bed again soon and...'_

* * *

**Wee, review?**


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's (boring) note: **thanks everyone for the favs. :D

I... I hate this chapter so much... I just hate it. It sucks, worst chapter ever.

* * *

During the night, Pilot heard Snippy going several times to the bathroom and to the kitchen. He really wanted to see if the sniper needed help, he wanted to prove himself useful. Captain wouldn't mind, right? He was helping a comrade... But, what if they ended up sleeping together? Captain had made that part clear...

So Pilot, too worried to sleep, spent the whole night talking to Mr. Kittyhawk. Engie was going mad with the whispered monologue and he tried to sleep in the kitchen, but he heard some noises outside and saw shadows moving beyond the window, so he went back to the living room and tried to sleep with a pillow covering his head.

At the dawn Captain stepped in the living room and looked at Pilot, who waved his arms in the air just to be sure Captain was really seeing him, seeing that he had stayed there, right there, that he was a good minion again! The German man nodded:

'Pilot, bring Mr. Snippy!', he ordered. And the pilot happily crawled to the sniper's room. He entered there and his smile vanished as he spotted several bows with water, bandages and an empty bottle of iodine tincture. Snippy's dirty clothes were piled at a lonely corner and the blue eyed man was laid over the bed, his bandaged back facing the door.

Pilot climbed to the bed and peeked over Snippy's shoulder. He was still sleeping. _Poor shoe, but you have to wake up!_, the green eyed man thought. He needed to find a nice way to wake up Snippy, what could he do? Poke him? Pull his hair? Blow on his ear or neck? Tickle him?

While thinking, Pilot allowed himself to look at his sleeping comrade. Even his underwear was blue! His right leg and the back of his hands were also bandaged. Pilot blushed and tried to look away, but that slender body had some kind of magnetism that attracted the pilot. He couldn't remember if he had seen someone else in underwear before and he thought Snippy a beautiful thing. He wanted to feel that skin, see what would happen if he touched that body.

But Captain was waiting for them! And Captain couldn't wait! With a sigh, Pilot aproached his head to Snippy's, his lips at some scarce millimeters of the sniper's ear:

'Snippy?', he called. No answer, 'Snippy? Snippy? Snippy? Snippy?', but still no answer. Pilot grimaced and smacked loudly the sniper's ear. Snippy nearly jumped out of his skin and turned around to see the boob who had disturbed his sleep. He found Pilot smilling innocently, 'Wake up, shoe!'

'You tried to suck my brain...', Snippy accused and yawned. He closed his eyes again and smiled as the pilot nuzzled his nose:

'You are a damaged shoe...', the pilot said sadly, 'I want to help you, what can I do to help you?'

Snippy thought him a sweetheart, but he wasn't sure about the help part... Oh well, letting Pilot help him to change the bandages wouldn't hurt, right?

It didn't hurt, but the pilot thought the sniper needed more bandages and Snippy nearly became a mummy.

* * *

Half an hour later, Pilot and Snippy joined Engie and Captain in the living room:

'Mission accomplished!', the pilot announced and climbed to the couch to sit next to Snippy. Engie looked the saddest creature on Earth. Captain placed his lovely mug over the table and appointed Snippy:

'Mr. Snippy, yesterday you left without wishing a good day to your Captain! You shall be punished!'

_Bwah... _

Captain threw one of the gothic velvet corsets at the sniper:

'This punishment is the most fasionable! You'll look so charming! Pilot is indeed a lucky man!', the German giggled. Snippy looked sadly at the corset but oh well, it could be far worst! Captain then threw a fishing net and three fishing rods at his men, 'Today's mission: fish a fish for Photoshop!'

'Yes sir!', and Pilot was the first one to crawl to the kitchen, so he could have breakfast first, go fish first and accomplish the mission first. Finally, a misson for him!

Captain left and Snippy and Engie found themselves alone. By the corner of his eye, Snippy could see how sorrowful the Russian man was. He stood up, holding the corset like if it could bite him:

'What happened to your nose?', he asked. Engie looked at him; he hadn't washed the blood yet and his eyes were red and puffy:

'Captain hit me with a book. I think it's broken...', and hearing this the sniper frowned:

'What have you done to him?'

'I didn't fix the TV...', Engie hid his face on his hands and let out a sob; such a sad destiny for such a great engineer like him, ending up performing Eurovison with curtains wrapped around him... Snippy rolled his eyes and kneeled in front of him:

'Let me see that...', he said and moved away Engie's hands. Carefuly, he pressed the tips of his fingers on the Russian's nose and felt the bone, 'It's not broken... it's not even swollen.'

'But it hurts...'

'You should have washed it with cold water... come on.', and without waiting for an answer, the sniper grabbed Engie's wrist and nearly dragged him to the bathroom; the washbasin didn't work but the shower poured some drops of freezing water. Engie wasn't exactly pleased with the water temperature but he washed the blood away and pressed his wet hands against his nose:

'So... you got Pilot's toy back.', the engineer suddenly said, looking himself on the mirror. Seemed his nose was still perfect, 'That's...'

'If Captain's book didn't break your nose, my fist will do it...', the sniper grumbled, 'And you are going to delete the pictures, if you in fact have them.'

'I have them, and I won't delete them. Maybe one day you'll want to recall those days.', the engineer replayed and turned around to face the sniper. He still looked deeply sad, 'You seem happy with him.'

Snippy frowned; that was getting weird... He crossed his arms and nodded, encouraging the Russian man to proceed his speech. Engie looked down and scratched his head:

'I mean... you guys know each other for a while, I think... you already created bounds and such, you even managed to adopt a giant worm...'

Snippy bit his lower lip before Engie's embarrassment; poor creature, the pictures, the comments, the drama about his 'perfect' nose... maybe he just wanted some attention. Maybe he just felt lonely. Snippy had felt lonely too, but now he had Pilot. Engie had no one. So probably that was the reason why Captain did those ridiculous things, to make them live together. To make them create bounds. Afterall, Captain was the captain for some reason...

The sniper smiled and pulled the engineer to a hug. The other man tensed up for a while, but he relaxed slowly and returned the gesture. How long had it been, the last time someone hugged him?:

'I'm just... I'm sorry Charles... I feel a weirdo, Captain would be proud of me...', Engie said nervously. Snippy just smiled and leaded him to the kitchen. Pilot was nowhere to be seen, so the sniper presumed the jiggly aviator was already fishing:

'All my dignity will perish in the moment I dress this thing...', Snippy sighed and waved the corset, 'It says 'push up' effect, what the hell is this?'. A smile grew on Engie's lips:

'It will worth a picture...'

'Think about the nose...'

* * *

So Charles Snippy went outside wearing a beautiful gothic velvet corset that provided a sexy push up effect. It fitted perfectly with his black trousers and boots. The cold air against his bare arms, shoulders and neck made him shiver and he felt ridiculous. Walking by his side, Engie was glad his mask hid his huge smile.

In fact, Pilot was already at the beach, a black spot in the greyish sand. Snippy sat next to him and Engie decided to leave them alone. The sniper looked at the fishing rod and tried to understand how the heck did it worked. Pilot was silent and that made the sniper frown:

'Are you okay?', he asked. Something pulled Pilot's rod, but it was just a galosh...:

'Why were you with the other shoe?', Pilot mumbled, not even carying to try his jealousy. That was incredible; he had a Captain, but there were other two boobs trying to take him away; now he had just gotten a new friend, and there was already a stupid balance sneaker trying to steal him! Couldn't he just have something of his own? Was it that difficult?

Behind his mask, Snippy smiled and somehow he enjoyed that feeling; the feeling of being solely someone's:

'You don't need to feel like that...'

'I'll cut that Worishofer sandal in two...', Pilot cut his sentence:

'...afterall, I nearly died to get something for you, not for him.'

Silence. Yes, that was true... Pilot looked at the sniper's bandaged arm and back of the hands and sighed; maybe the shoe was right... He smiled before Snippy's incapacity to work correctly with the fishing rod and he decided to help him. Of course he'd accomplish the mission first and please the Captain, he was just being a good minion.

A good comrade. A good friend.

Engie let out a frustrated curse, seemed the fishhook had found the fur trim of his hood a nice place to live.

The day gone by and none of them fished anything. Snippy was sure he'd get ill and he started to shiver with cold. Pilot noticed that and rolled his eyes, then he sticked his fishing rod in the greyish sand, untied the scabbard of his katana, unziped his jacket and covered Snippy with it. The blue eyed man muttered something that sounded like 'thanks' and dressed the black leather jacket. It was warm and comfortable, but quite large in the shoulders. And at least it hid the horrible corset...

Pilot looked at the calm toxic waters; he needed to fish something, he needed to make his Captain proud and feed his beloved Photoshop. And he needed to impress Snippy, so the boobish shoe would understand he was much better that that Engie-shoe. Hmm... how could he get a fish...? He looked at his katana lying next to him and to the fish rod... oooh, idea!

Visibly excited, the Pilot tied the nylon line to the handle of the katana and dragged himself closer to the water:

'Pilot, be careful!', Snippy advised, 'Bwah, what have you done?'

'Watch and learn, shoe!', Pilot said, and he threw the katana in the direction of a dark silhouette under the water. The weapon immersed with a loud splash and something that looked like blood stained the water. Even more excited, Pilot pulled the line and dragged the katana back to the sand. And sticked to the blade there was a purple fish...:

'VICTORY WAS ACHIEVED!', Pilot sang happily and wrapped tightly his arms around Snippy, 'NO AQUATIC SHOE SHALL DEFEAT ME!', and then the pilot threw confetti over himself.

'Impressing!', the sniper admited. He expected Pilot to crawl away and show Captain his prize, but surprisingly the green eyed man put the fish aside and started to build a sand-airplane. Pilot noticed the sniper's confusion:

'Hurry up, I'm waiting for you, slug!', he explained. Snippy smiled and had a brilliant idea; he put the fishing rod aside and removed a small handgun from a pocket. He unlocked it and scanned the water surface, hoping to see a fish.

Some minutes later he saw something that seemed to be a fish and he shot it. He used the fishhook to drag it to the sand and showed to the pilot a yellow and very ugly fish with fangs. Pilot clapped his hands and threw confetti over Snippy, grabbed his own fish and crawled away:

'Come on, shoe! Photoshop is hungry!', he called. Snippy hesitated and looked at Engie. The Russian man shrugged:

'I'll be fine.', he said, and Snippy followed Pilot.

It was almost dark when Engie finally managed to fish a little, tiny fish with the fishing net.

* * *

After dinner Captain gathered his minions in the living room:

'Mein minions, I'm very pleased with you!', he started. Pilot rolled his eyes; of course that his fish had been the best one..., 'I decided you all deserve a prize and a day off tomorrow!'

_Bwah, really? This is just too good the be true..._

Captain sipped some tea and appointed Engie:

'Mr. Engie, I forgive you for the TV disaster; this is your prize! And there's nothing better than your sexy Captain's forgiveness!', the German man announced. Engie let out an annoyed sigh, he had expected something a little better... Then Captain appointed Snippy, 'Mr. Snippy, you may strip your beautiful corset and sleep with mein pilot.', and at last, Captain appointed Pilot, 'And Pilot, you can warm Mr. Snippy's bed.'

Blushing and giggling, Pilot exchanged a look with the sniper. A very red sniper.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's note (of doom): **I just want to thank you for the reviews.

* * *

In a normal situation, when Snippy didn't have anything to do he'd go in a quest for food, water and other useful things.

To the heck with food, water and useful things! In that lovely day off, Snippy was at the beach running back and forth, carrying a happy almost-flying Pilot on his injured back. When the sniper couldn't handle the pain anymore he just laid on the greyish sand with Pilot next to him, building things or drawing with a stick on the sand. While they were by themselves the green eyed man was quiet and fond, but when Engie sat next to them to read a book Pilot entered the usual terrorist mode.

He modeled sandballs with that thick poluted sand to throw at the engineer's head. Engie eventually moved away and Snippy slapped Pilot's head:

'Stop that!', he demanded. Behind his mask, Pilot stuck out his tongue:

'I don't want him around!', the blond haired man explained, 'He's a bad shoe and you're a good shoe and I don't want him to influence you!'

Touching but mean... even if Pilot didn't even realize he was being unpleasent. In his opinion, he was just protecting what was now his. Very his. But okay, he would stop... if Engie didn't dare to come closer again. The child-man stared at Snippy and tilted his head; poor sniper... Pilot had seen the red, irrated skin under the bandages last night. In some places there were some little pimples with pus. He looked again at Engie, who was still reading his book at a safe distance. Pilot then laid down beside Snippy and stared at the clouded sky. He had some remote memories of blue skies, sunny days and mighty airplanes. There were also birds and...:

'Oh Snippy, look! A BUTTERFLY!'

Indded, a beautiful golden butterfly was flying in their direction! Pilot just clapped his hands and watched amazed the pretty flying thing as it flew around them. Snippy smiled:

'I thought they didn't exist anymore! If there are butterflies, there must be flowers!'

'The butterfly came from the land of pancakes and merryness! I must build a flying machine, so that we can go there too!'

Snippy just smiled. Not that he believed that stuff, but butterflies are symbolically connoted with ressurection. Could it be a sign? However, the sniper had just thought about this and the butterfly let out a loooooong red tongue with a tiny mouth at the end that resembled the mouth of a leech:

'Bwah!'

'Snippy, maybe she's hungry! Where can we find her a flower?', Pilot asked innocently. Before the sniper could say something, the tiny mouth dilated and became big enough to swallow a head, and it also showed several rows of small sharp teeth. Pilot freaked out before the sudden danger and, with movements too fast for the human eye, he cut off the butterfly's tongue with his katana. The butterfly retreated and the green eyed man waved his closed fist at it:

'NO GOLF SHOE SHALL EAT MY SHOE!', he yelled in anger and Engie looked curiously at them, wondering what had annoyed the flying psychopath. Meanwhile Snippy had covered the tongue with sand, since it seemed to have life of its own and acted like a creepy king cobra:

'I hate Nature! I just hate it!', the sniper mumbled. He stood up and shook off the sand from his clothes. He was about to pick up Pilot when he spotted a dark cloud moving with incredible speed. Moving towards them. Engie had already closed his book and was ready to run away.

_Bwah..._

Snippy lifted Pilot like a potato sack and ran the faster he could. Thousends and thousends of butterfly-leeches flew after them with their tongues ready for action. Engie was the first one to get in their base, screaming and waving his arms above his head like a possessed. Snippy followed him and the Russian engineer locked the door right on time, what caused some butterflies to knock against the door.

The sniper put Pilot on the floor and leaned against the door:

'Land of pancakes and merryness... bwah!', he sighed and removed his hood:

'What... where did those come from?', Engie asked. Snippy was going to answer him but Pilot spoke first:

'DO NOT MOVE, SCIENCIFIC SANDAL!', and a knife was thrown at Engie's head. Or better, at a butterfly hidden on Engie's hood fur trim. Sepulchral silence, and the sudden lack of noise and chaos made Captain peek from the living room:

'Mein minions, with such a beautiful day outside why are you silly slugs here?', he asked. Engie carefuly grabbed the dead butterfly and waved it in front of Captain:

'They wanted to eat us!', he explained, but Captain let out a girlish giggle:

'Aw, Mr. Engie got me a present, sehr gut! A new friend for Photoshop, it seems!'

'What? No! It's... it's dead! And it's deadly!'

'Mr. Engie, I demand you to find Photoshop and give her this new friend! I shall call him Gimp!', the German ordered with a movement of his hand. Pilot clenched his jaw but his mask hid his dissatisfied face:

'I can go!', he said. However Captain just kneeled next to him and patted his lifeless legs:

'Mein pilot, you have this terrible habit of going in all the missions! Your legs are still exhausted, you need to rest so that you can be back to normal, ja?'

Pilot wanted to object but he just looked down._ Stupid tired legs, when will you awake?_ Captain stood up again and walked away to his room, leaving his three minions up to their tasks. Well, leaving at least one minion with a task.

The green eyed man let out a ruthless growl and crawled to the room, like a wounded beast hiding in the shadows. Snippy, glad to be just a spectator, patted Engie's shoulder and handed him his handgun:

'Just in case...', he said, 'If I were you, I'd prefer the mutants outside to Pilot's rage...'

'Shut up...', the engineer grumbled and, with the handgun and the dead butterfly, left the base. Fortunately, the other butterflies had left.

* * *

Snippy closed the door and removed his gas mask and goggles. Pilot was laid on the bed, arms crossed, gas mask covering his pouted face and a million of felon thoughts running through his mind. He needed to recover or he'd no longer be Captain's favorite minion. He needed to go on missions, he needed to find more and better friends for Photoshop, he needed to get rid of Engie! What could he do?

_Murderer, _a little surly and metallic voice whispered. He shook his head; he was no murderer, he was just trying to defend his Captain! His Captain!

Then his gas mask was off his face and Snippy was looking at him, eyebrows lightly frowned. They just stared at each other, until finally Snippy moved away and turned his back at the pilot:

'Are you angry with Engie?', he asked, taking off his jacket. Pilot clenched his fists:

'That stupid shoe, he's trying to take Captain away from from me!'

_I knew it..._, the sniper thought and he felt a strange bitterness. He was curious about something, but now the blue eyed man wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer. He looked over his shoulder to see that Pilot had taken Mr. Kittyhawk from an inside pocket of his jacket and was now hugging the toy. The sniper then started to unroll the bandages of his hands, biting his lower lip. _But he doesn't like when Engie is around me... around us... so... maybe... __  
_

Well, he'd ask it later. Or maybe Pilot would say it, lately he was saying a lot of nice stuff...

The back of his hands seemed okay. The skin was still a little irritated but didn't hurt and it wasn't that red anymore.

Pilot looked at Snippy and frowned. He watched as the sniper removed his shirt and exposed his bandaged back; that was Pilot's opportunity to show everybody how useful he was and to show Snippy he cared about him, his most recent and prized flying machine. He put Mr. Kittyhawk over the bedside table and threw his leather jacket away:

'Injured shoe, let me help you!', and listen to this made the sniper smile. Maybe it was part of the answer to his question...

The dark haired man took a seat at the edge of the bed and Pilot dragged himself closer, visibly excited. He quickly unrolled the bandage on Snippy's arm and looked at the reddish skin and then to the sniper, waiting for approval. The sniper just nodded and turned his back at him, imagining the damage he had done to his injured back by carrying Pilot; _Well, I regret nothing!_

The green eyed man noticed some dark red and yellowish stains on the white bandage. Not good... He felt a sudden fear of touching Snippy and cause him pain, and he carefuly began to unroll the bandage:

'Maybe I should have canceled today's flight...', he whispered to himself. The sniper heard it and shrugged:

'Nevermind.'

The blond haired man realized the pus had kind of glued the bandage on the middle of Snippy's back. He frowned; he just couldn't let that thing there, Snippy wouldn't like it! But pulling it off would probably be very painful... Hmm... maybe if the pilot pulled it quickly, the sniper wouldn't notice it... no, of course he'd feel it, and the sniper would probably scream in pain and Pilot didn't like screams, he had had plenty of those and they still bothered him. He didn't want to colect them...

With a concerned sigh, Pilot covered Snippy's mouth with a hand:

'It may hurt.', he warned and pulled the bandage with all his strenght. Snippy didn't even had the time to understand what happened when he felt a horrible pain when the pilot pulled the bandage. Pilot's hand covering his mouth supressed an agonized scream and the sniper arched his now pulsatile and aching back. Pilot watched as one by one little blood drops and pus drained down Snippy's back; _Unholy footwear, what do I do?_

There was a bowl with water over the desk, next to the window. That was the solution; Pilot just neded to get that bowl and wash that hedious burn. So the green eyed man tried to stand up and the consequence was a spectacular tumble:

'I'm invincible!', Pilot exclaimed before Snippy could say anything and crawled to get the bloody bowl. Snippy watched, amazed, as that paralytic pilot climbed to the chair to reach the bowl, put it on the floor and threw himself to the floor in an almost suicidal way. It was creepy, yes, but no one had never done such thing for him. No one, incapacitated or not, had made such an effort to help him.

And when he noticed Pilot had climbed to the bed again, most of the water spilled on his black t-shirt. With a victorious smile, Pilot squeezed the soaked cloth that was inside the bowl and cleaned Snippy's back:

'You should beg Captain to exercise his magic on your back.', the green eyed man advised. Snippy rolled his eyes; yes, the biggest witnesses of Captain's magic powers were Pilot's legs... still and forever lifeless. The dark haired man closed his eyes as the fresh water soothed the pain:

'I'm not a good minion, he wouldn't do that...', the sniper replayed, _And you are here..._:

'Nonsense, idiotic shoe! Captain is great and wise, he would forgive your sins and help you!', the pilot put the bowl over the bedside table and laid down, 'You're done.'

'Won't you help me to bandage this?'

'You are suffocating your damage! Stupid shoe, damages are living beings, and if they breathe the contamined air they die!', Pilot facepalmed dramatically, 'You if are always protecting them, they'll survive!'

Snippy just blinked his eyes. Part of it made sense, but someone mentally sane wouldn't let his wounds exposed to radiactive air, right? Still the radiation was practically null in that place...

Ok, maybe Pilot was right. The sniper couldn't imagine all the times that child-man had gotten wounded and hadn't even disinfected the injuries. _Bwah... maybe Captain literally woke him up forever..._

What a nonsense! The sniper stood up, gathered the used bandages and burned them with a small lighter, turning them into a pile of ashes. Pilot had hugged Mr. Kittyhawk again:

'Why are you poluting the atmosphere?', he asked. Snippy shoved the lighter into his bag again:

'It's already poluted... I have to burn the bandages, so that mutants won't track us, or other hostile survivers.', the sniper explained calmly. He looked at the pilot and for some reason his silly heart began to run faster and faster. Shyly, he laid down and rested his head over Pilot's chest, 'Thanks...'

'I'm a pilot. Captain says I'm a good pilot. Good pilots take good care of their good flying devices.', the blond haired man said. He looked at the plushie and then to Snippy, 'Mr. Kittyhawk would like to thank you for having rescued him.'

'It's okay.', the sniper smiled and 'shook hands' with the toy. Pilot placed it next to the pillow, wraped an arm around Snippy's shoulders and fondled his dark hair with his other hand. He felt great, offering some comfort to someone like Snippy, and he suddenly felt guilty for all the pranks he did. Captain had once told him he could emend everything he had done before, and if Captain had said so, so it was true.

And the sniper, always so self-reliant, found himself completely defeated to that new feeling.

* * *

The next morning Captain rushed into their room and danced around the bed, which leaded Snippy to pull a blanket to cover his bare chest. Pilot changed immidiately to a sitting position and waited for orders:

'Mein minions, it's snowing! Do you know what does it mean?', the German man asked:

'Christmas!', Pilot cried in joy. The Captain threw Snippy's shirt and jacket at the sniper's face:

'Ja! Mr. Snippy, get yourself dressed, nobody wants to see your boobs!', and the German danced to the doorway, 'Hurry up, jiggly lovers! I'm waiting!'

He left and yelled something at Engie, who yelled something back. Pilot and Snippy looked at each other, feeling a sudden discomfort; Captain was not supposed to find them like that; _Even though he knows about it..._, the green eyed man thought. He grabbed his jacket from the floor and dressed it:

'I like your boobs...', he mumbled in an almost inaudible tone and hurried to cover his blushed face with the gas mask. It was loud enough to Snippy understand. They bandaged again Snippy's back, just to protect the burn from the fabric of the shirt.

The minions gathered on the living room and Snippy was glad that Engie had survived his mission. Later the sniper came to know that the Russian had thrown away thed dead butterfly and had waited at the door until it was time to get in again.

Captain looked at them, calmly drinking his tea. Pilot was still too embarassed to look at his captain:

'Minions, it's Winter time! And Winter time means Christmas!', Captain started, 'So now it's time for Christmas-themed missions!', Pilot forgot all his embarassment and clapped his hands, 'Engie, you'll find Christmas lights!'

'I knew it...', the Russian man sighed in despair. Captain just ignored him:

'Mr. Snippy, you'll find Christmas food! And Pilot will hitch-hike with you and find a sexy and gorgeous Christmas tree.'

'Yes sir!'

'What do you mean with Christmas food? There are many types of Christmas food!', Snippy reclaimed. He wasn't in the mood to find a turkey and then be told that turkey is not Christmas food. Captain tilted his head:

'Silly snippy-sniper, I'm talking about Strudel! And roasted goose, obviously!', Captain then appointed the door, 'Now go mein minions, and make your Captain proud!'

Snippy didn't know what the heck was a Strudel, but he also thought it was better not to ask.

And three men left their comfortable and minimally warm base and went outside, to the cold radioactive snow. Pilot was being carried bridal style, he didn't want to worsen again the wound on the sniper's back. Engie dragged his feet sadly:

'Where am I going to find stupid Christmas lights?', he asked, 'Better, how am I going to make them work?'

'We could try in that shopping center... oh, forget about it, it's too far...', Snippy said. Pilot rolled his eyes; such complicated comrades...:

'There are beautiful things in the junk!', he exclaimed, 'And the junk is everywhere, so there are beautiful things everywhere!'

* * *

**Wee, review?**


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's note (of destruction): **again, thanks everybody who's reading this. :) And oh look, a pretty big chapter!

* * *

Engie hadn't killed his brain studying to become the best of all just to end up looking for Christmas lights in piles of junk. Indeed, Fate was a cruel thing...

Pilot didn't bother with such thoughts and he eagerly asked Snippy to leave him on the ground. Reluctantly, the sniper sat the pilot near the junk and gave a few steps back while the green eyed man started to search something pretty and mighty to be their Christmas tree. He threw away some pieces of metal and steel scrap, but stopped when he noticed the sniper was still there:

'You have a mission to accomplish!', he said. Snippy just shrugged, his hands in the pockets:

'I'm not leaving you here, nobody knows what might be hidden among this crap.', although he knew that if something happened, Pilot would certainly save his and Engie's skin... But he didn't want to take the risk, and he would glady use the lovely velvet corset again if that was the prize to keep Pilot safe.

Pilot was not amused with that lack of sense of duty:

'Go away, I don't want Captain to punish you again!'

'I'm not leaving!'

_For you are an invalid., _a little, dying voice sibilated. Pilot frowned; he was no invalid! He was invencible, and he was about to be cured thanks to Captain's great awesomeness! He crossed his arms and pouted:

'I don't need you, go away!', he mumbled.

Snippy raised his eyebrows and felt like someone had elbowed his stomach. Maybe he was just overreacting, Pilot was just Pilot, that was typically Pilot... but... just a few nights ago he had been told the opposite. And Pilot had really meant it! The sniper shook his head and, slowly, turned his back at the green eyed man and walked away.

Maybe Pilot was just afraid of Captain's booberish punishments... yes, exactly, Pilot didn't want to be alone at night!

Or maybe the blond haired man suddenly felt an invalid and he didn't like it, Snippy wouldn like it either!

And also, Pilot could be trying to prove he was still a good minion, that he could make it by himself!

Lastly, Engie was working in the nearest pile, maybe the pilot didn't want to show affections when the engineer was around...

Snippy sighed sadly; _Bwah, this fucking hurts..._

Pilot watched him leave and then focused on his work again. But as he digged more and more into the metal and steel and glass and concrete and other lost objects, he felt suddenly guilty; he shouldn't have said that, it wasn't truth. He needed the sniper, he just wanted to accomplish his mission and he wanted Snippy to accomplish his own mission too.

Well, back to their base he would apologize. He smiled as a beautiful scene popped up in his mind: he would tell Snippy he was sorry, but the shoe was going to be a damn stubborn and pout, then Pilot would whisper nice things to him and massage his surely sore back, and the icy sniper would melt and forgive him and they'd be happy forever serving the glorious Captain. And there would be flowers and rainbows and the clouds would drop cupcakes and pancakes and that Strudel thing Captain had mentioned, and the rivers and lakes would be tea and chocolate milk, and Photoshop and airplanes would roam the skies.

He sighed dreamily and climbed a little the junk pile to dig in another place.

On the other hand, Engie had found a small and broken solar panel that felt like finding the Holy Grail. He could fix the little damage, and there was light enough to charge it. With luck, he could find a microwave and provide warm meals, and bit by bit they'd have a more comfortable life!

'Eurovision, here we go!', he sang happily and shoved the precious panel into his backbag.

Pilot saw the engineer's little victory and let out an angry growl; he had to find a bloody Christmas tree! He digged more and more and finally found something that would make a nice tree; an umbrella frame! Now he just needed a base for it, where was that big oil can he had just thrown away? The pilot looked around and noticed the abanoned can, not far from the piles, in front of the opening of a huge pipe.

He happily made his way down and crawled to the can. He grabbed it, back turned at the pipe, and studied the can just to be sure it was in good conditions. He could also see Engie being a stupid shoe and waving his arms and jumping... and that slug dared to call him crazy! Sincerely...

Something grunted. Pilot frowned and glanced over his shoulder; _Holy Captain and allmighty combat footwear!_

A giant worm, much bigger than his lovely Photoshop, was staring at him, mouth hide open, its many eyes blinking. Pilot began to move slowly; what if it was one of Photoshop friends? He couldn't kill it! He then stopped and smiled; maybe he could recruit the catterpilar! He opened his arms, like expecting a hug, and the worm crawled to him:

'Hello, good fellow!', Pilot saluted, 'Do you know Photoshop? Would you like to join the most glorious army ever, with the best Captain of all?', the mutant stopped next to the green eyed man and approached its huge mouth; if all its preys were like the little child-man, it would be much bigger and happier..., 'Oh, you want to kiss me? I'm sorry ma'am, but I'm an engaged man, Captain and Snippy would...'

He shut his mouth as a skull was thrown at the caterpillar's head and the huge beast roared furiously. Pilot looked at Engie, who was looking for something else to throw at the mutant:

'YOU STUPID SHOE, DIDN'T CAPTAIN EDUCATE YOU?', Pilot yelled:

'GET OUT OF THERE, IT'S GOING TO EAT YOU!'

'I'm so sorry, he's just a stupid boob!', the green eyed man apologized. The worm raised its huge body like a snake and then tried to snap the Pilot, who finally realized the danger and rolled aside. He withdrew his katana from the scabbard and, letting out his battle cry, stabbed the mutant's fat body.

He just injured the catterpilar, but it was enough to make it crawl again to the pipe. Pilot was about to make a victory speech when he noticed Engie shoving the umbrella and the can into the bagback, and before he could even think about saying 'shoe', the Russian man had seized him like a potato sack:

'Charles would kill me if something happened to you!', Engie said hysterically and ran away.

* * *

Snippy dragged his feet for a while, lost in thoughts. He even trashed against a broken lamp post! _Bwah, I think Pilot is radioactive and it's starting to affect me..._

He found a little supermarket and got in without even prepare his handgun. Now, he needed to find Strudel and goose. But what the heck was a Strudel? Such an ungly name, it surely tasted horribly! He ignored the boxes with rotten fruit and vegetables and walked along the small corridor, with shelves full of old wine bottles at his right and candies and sweets at his left. The sniper stopped for a moment and looked at the chocolates and biscuits; Pilot would certainly enjoy some... and it couldn't be that expired, right...? A little smile grew on his lips and he chose a chocolate bar for Pilot. He took some chewing-gums for Engie, maybe this could help him with the stress...

Leaving the corridor behind, he entered a small section with freezers. There was a very suspicious light green liquid dropping from the boxes containing spoiled food and some rats hid when the sniper wandered in the section, looking for something saying 'Strudel' on the box. Nothing... and no goose too.

So the sniper had to go somewhere else. He searched in every food shop and supermarkets for the damned Strudel and goose and he nearly fell into a very dark and deep hole. In the last supermarket he visited he found a single yellow box saying 'Appfelstrudel'; was it the Strudel? But it had that 'Apfel' thing before the 'strudel' part... well, if it wasn't the 'Strudel' itself, if was surely a very close relative. And since there wasn't any goose, Snippy took some cans of those huge German sausages, that would make the Captain happy. He took a mental note to prevent Pilot from eating that Strudel thing.

Now he just wanted to go back and talk to Pilot. It took him a while to find the way back again and this lack of concentration because of that annoying green eyed man angered the sniper. Not with the pilot, but with himself.

The first thing he noticed when he finally reached the building where their base was located was a child-like drawing, probably Captain's, posted on the door, featuring a Christmas tree with presents. Under the drawing the sniper could read, also in a very childish handwriting: _CITIZENS OF CAPTANIA! YOU ARE ALL INVITED TO ZEE MOST GREATEST CHRISTMAS PARTY OF THE YEAR! REGARDS, YOUR CAPTEIN_, and a doddle of Captain...

With a sigh, Snippy opened the door and entered the building. He shook the snow off his clothes and climbed the stairs to the second floor and opened the left door. Finally, the base... He locked the door again and found Captain on the living room; the German had a pair of huge pink headphones and seemed to be listening to some imaginary music from a broken MP3 player:

'Captain, I found your Strudel.', Snippy announced, 'There wasn't any goose but I brought you German sausages.'

But the Captain didn't say nothing, he just headbanged and played air-guitar. _Bwah..._ Snippy went to the kitchen. On his way, he noticed the door of his room was closed. His and Pilot's... He bit his lower lip and found Engie sitting at the kitchen table, lost on his mission to bring the solar panel from the dead. Snippy put his bag over the table and the engineer nearly jumped out of his skin. He then smiled and showed the sniper his little treasure:

'Look what I found, Charles! I can make it work!', he exclaimed happily. Snippy smiled back and looked for the chewing-gums inside his bag:

'Did Pilot find the Christmas tree?', and as an answer the Russian man appointed the umbrella frame and the oil can proudly displayed near the dirty fridge, 'Why isn't it on the living room?'

'He said the tree was hungry... oh, chewing-gum!', Engie's amber eyes shone and he gladly put his work aside to admire that beautiful artifact, 'And he was nearly eaten by a catterpilar, can you please explain him those things are dangerous?',Snippy goggled his eyes and removed his facewear. Engie giggled before his worried expression, 'He's okay, relax.'

The sniper blushed and nodded. He grabbed his bag and went to the room, where he found the pilot lying on the floor over his belly and playing with Mr. Kittyhawk and the two cups of tea. That pair of green eyes looked at the sniper and they seemed to glow in the semi-darkness of the room. They stared at each other for a while and Pilot was the first to break eye-contact. He wanted to say something, but he felt suddenly ashamed and the words died in his mouth. This wasn't exactly what he had imagined... He kept his eyes down as the sniper walked into the room, put the bag on the floor and undressed his jacket. Then Pilot cleared his throat:

'Snippy?', he called. The sniper looked at him, already knowing what the pilot was going to say. He felt suddenly lighter and kneeled next to the blond haired man, holding something on his hand:

'Nevermind.', he said. But the pilot shook his head:

'I didn't...'

'It's okay.', and that topic was over. Snippy draped the pilot's arms around his shoulders and hauled him up, 'I brought you something.'

A curious expression came across Pilot's face as the sniper sat him on the bed and his eyes widened when the sniper offered him the chocolate bar. How long had it been, the last time he had eaten one of those? Had someone ever given a chocolate to him, or had he always bought them himself? Had he ever shared one, or had he always eaten them alone? He wanted to feel happy but he couldn't, and Snippy frowned before Pilot's sudden sorrowful face:

'What's wrong?'

'Maybe I am the shoe, not you...', the green eyed man mumbled and pulled the sniper to a hug, since he couldn't come up with words. Snippy just smiled, touched, and he ran his fingers through Pilot's soft hair:_  
_

'It's okay, forget it.'

'We'll eat this together.', Pilot said and smiled. The green eyed man opened the chocolate and broke the bar in two pieces. They enjoyed their sweet in silence, and Snippy felt like he had never eaten anything so good before.

* * *

The next day was spent doing very important activities, such as decorating the Christmas tree and drawing Christmas cards for 'zee good citizens of Captania'. Snippy found himself tearing a curtain to pieces to wrap around the umbrella frame; Engie had found some lamps among the junk and was trying to make them work; Pilot was drawing in a yellowish sketchbook he had found in the room and Captain was 'resting for zee party'.

In a normal situation, Pilot's humming would get on Snippy's nerves. But now the sniper just sat on the couch, patiently doing his task, thinking how cute and adorable the child-man was. Engie yelled in Russian when he pinched a finger with the plier and he glanced angrily at the happy pilot, laid on the floor with lots of crayons and oil pastels spread around him:

'Can you please shut up?', he asked. Snippy bit his tongue, hoping he wouldn't have to say anything. Pilot stopped his infantile drawing of Captain dressed as Santa Claus and darted a dangerous look at the engineer:

'No! I like to sing when I'm drawing!', was the answer. Engie rolled his eyes:

'Charles, can you please...'

'Leave Snippy out of this!', the pilot grumbled. Snippy sighed; _Bwah... I feel a granny looking after her two grandsons..._

'Gromov, maybe you should go to the kitchen...', the sniper suggested. Engie goggled his eyes but gathered his things and left, pouted. Pilot stuck his tongue out and focused on his drawings again. He was so proud Captain appreciated his artistic skills! He finished Captain's drawing and started another one with Photoshop as a reindeer. And Snippy had been so nice, protecting him and sending the ugly flip-flop away! Snippy was always so nice now, Pilot liked him so much...

_I like him so much... But I love Captain, I can't like Snippy and love Captain at the same time!_, the green eyed man thought and frowned. He rested his chin on his hand, eyes wandering though the living room, _But it feels different... so maybe I can... I should ask Captain, he knows everything! But I don't want to bother him..._

He glanced over his shoulder, to the sniper and his curtain, and he felt his neck redden. He looked at his drawing again and added some balloons. Well, he had done a lot of master pieces for Captain, now he'd just have some fun. An evil grin played on his lips.

Snippy frowned because Pilot stopped humming and was drawing really fast. When it was something for Captain, he would be very, very slow, 'professional', as he called himself:

'Pilot, what are you drawing?', the sniper asked. With a victorious smile, the blond haired man showed him a drawing of Engie falling off an airplane to a pit full of hungry catterpilars. Captain was sitting in a throne, enjoying the show, and Snippy was just standing beside the Captain.

Captain joined them and Pilot hid the drawing. The German man looked at them, calmly drinking his tea with the precious help of a light blue straw:

'Mr. Snippy, are zee decorations ready?', he asked. Snippy nodded, 'Gut. Mein pilot, are zee cards ready?'

'Yes, sir!'

'Sehr gut! Mr. Engie?'

'What is it now?', Engie's voice sounded from the kitchen:

'Are zee lights ready?'

'Almost...'

'You can finish that tomorrow, now go and spread zee Christmas cards! Be zee messanger of happiness and joy!', Captain ordered. Pilot clenched his jaw, he didn't want his master pieces on those dirty electronic hands! But it was Captain's will, so he had to obey...

A very bored Engie picked up the cards and left. Snippy tried to hide a smile, sure the Russian was going to use the same technic he had used with Photoshop's new friend.

* * *

'Snippy?', Pilot called before the sniper laid him on the bed, 'Can we go to the window?'

The sniper nodded and carried the pilot to the window. Carefuly, he moved a little the curtain away and the pilot peeked outside. It was an extremely dark night, as usual, and only the falling white snowflakes were visible:

'It's so dark...', he commented with a disappointed tone, 'I remember little shiny spots in the sky. I liked them so much that I wanted to learn how to fly, so that I could touch them.'

'Stars...', Snippy whispered. He missed them too, and the moon, and the clear sky. He took the pilot back to the bed and unzipped his black leather jacket, 'When I was a kid my parents had a house in the countryside. I loved to lay down on the grass with my mother and watch the stars...'

'I can't remember my mother...', Pilot mumbled sadly. He shivered with cold when his warm jacket was gone and he cuddled on the sniper when he laid down next to him and covered them with the blankets. The sniper bit his lower lip, feeling sorry for the child-man; if it was already horrible to be one of the very few survivers, it should be much worse to be one and have such a damaged memory. And not being able to walk or do most things by himself...

Pilot sighed, lost in thoughts, and wondered if Captain could bring the stars back. A little smile grew on his lips as he imagined Snippy the little shoe, with chubby cheeks and a lovely smile.

_Have you noticed that you killed his mother?, _a little voice whispered. The pilot tensed up, _And your own mother, and everybody's mother? Here, can you hear them? The poor little children crying over their corpse-mothers? Can you hear them begging to a stupid god to bring them back? Can you? Can you feel their pain? Can you see their grief misshapen faces?_

'NO!', the green eyed man yelled and buried his face on Snippy's chest. Stupid, stupid voices!, 'I don't want to see that!'

Snippy just lulled the pilot, it was probably those voices again. And he couldn't help but feel superior to that German bastard they called 'captain'; he, who was sooo magic, couldn't make Pilot feel safe. Snippy liked to think, and he was almost sure about it, that he was the only one able to do that:

'Are they gone now?', he asked. The blond haired man nodded, curled in a small ball:

'How is your damage? Can we go and play outside in the snow?', he suddenly asked, looking deep into Snippy's eyes. Such an intense stare disturbed the sniper, momently speechless, until he smiled:

'My back is fine, maybe tomorrow we can...', he was cut off as Pilot happily clapped his hands and wrapped his arms around the sniper's neck. _Bwah, I hate and love his mood swings..._

* * *

**Weee, review?**


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's (portuguese pied) note: **hello my people! I feel like this chapter took a while, so I'll bother you with some explanations: 'my' horse and I fell in a really (not) funny way and I injured my wrist, and it was really painful to move my fingers (and typing with just a hand sucks). I'm better now, nevermind.

* * *

Sadly for Pilot, the day started with a violent snowstorm and Snippy refused to take him outside, or some of the radioactive snowflakes could get into their mask filters.

So the child-man pouted and spent most of the morning drawing in the room, while Snippy helped Engie with the Christmas lights. It was a boring task, all he had to do was to hold the solar panel near the window and listen to the engineer on how good he was to iluminate certain situations. Not that the sniper was listening, his mind was miles away from there.

Well, not exactly miles away, it was on the room next door... He sighed heavily, it wasn't that fun anymore when Pilot wasn't around, the quietude wasn't that relaxing. His eyes wandered through the living room until he finally noticed Engie was looking at him, a smirk forming on his lips:

'Are my lights boring? Do you prefer airplanes?', he asked. Snippy grumbled something incomprehensible and looked at his boots, 'Why aren't you with him?'

'Not your business...', the sniper replayed. But the Russian man was still staring at him, smilling, and Snippy let out a tired sigh, 'He wants to go outside but I won't take him... so he's angry with me...'

'Cute.'

_Bwah, cute... such a great advice!_, the sniper rolled his eyes, _Damn, I hate this silence...:_

'I'm going to see what he's doing...', Snippy excused and handed back the solar panel to the Russian man, who just smiled. Snippy made his way to the door but Captain blocked his way:

'Snippy-snipster, where are you going? We have a Christmas tree to decorate!', Captain said, gesturing with his mug. A scalding tea drop missed Snippy's face for millimeters:

'I...'

'Stop being an anarcho-punk boob and help Mr. Engie!'

'Pilot...'

'You have plenty of time to make funny things with Pilot, now you must work!', and the German man pushed Snippy back again. Engie was laughing hard. Snippy wanted to protest but Pilot finally joined them, crawling into the room after Captain. The green eyed man still seemed pouted and darted an angry look at the sniper.

But as soon as they started decorating the Christmas tree Pilot cheered up and ended up pulling Engie off the couch, so that he had space to lay down and rest his head over Snippy's legs. Engie had to sit on the floor and Captain stood next to the couch, and they all admired the umbrella frame with pieces of a curtain and some broken, but working, lamps wrapped around it. Weak yellow, green, red and blue lights twinkled slowly and it somehow made that living room look normal again, and not like an abandoned place in the post-apocalyptic world.

Snippy felt oddly cozy and cherished Pilot's blond hair, completely forgotten about Captain and Engie. Usually Christmas in Captania would only bring him sadness; it's not very pleasent to 'celebrate' when everyone is dead, your captain is an egocentric guy and a giant catterpilar and a puffin plushie get more attention and affection than you. In fact, Christmas in Captania was surely the biggest nonsense ever.

_But not this year..._, and he looked down at Pilot just to meet those electrifying green eyes. The blond haired man had that lovely smile of his and Snippy smiled back, feeling like a flame had lighten up inside him; there were only the two of them in that nice warm house, with a lovely Christmas tree and the snow falling outside. The perfect environment to have some hot chocolate and then go to bed and spend the whole day sleeping. Sleeping... an image of a shirtless Pilot crossed Snippy's mind and the blue eyed man felt his cheeks burn, but he quickly shook his head; _Stupid, horrible Charles, how can you think that of a friend? My only friend, I guess..._

Suddenly ashamed, Snippy looked around and found Engie and Captain's purple lenses staring at him and Pilot, and a heavy silence descended upon the living room. Pilot blushed and rolled to the floor, hoping Captain wouldn't know what he had been thinking about. Their leader just walked away, sipping tea from his epic mug, and the green eyed man feared he had offended Captain with such thoughts. So he crawled after him, he had to explain himself!_  
_

Captain walked to his room but stopped at the entrance, noticing Pilot was following him:

'Ja?'

'My captain...', he hesitated; how could he explain himself? There was no explanation he could give, Captain already knew everything! But... Pilot needed the answers, otherwise he could never improve as a minion, _And something else..._,'... can I please, please ask you something?', the green eyed man asked. The German man nodded and dragged the pilot by the arm into the room. He then helped him to sit at the edge of the bed and kneeled in front of him, hands placed over Pilot's knees:

'So mein pilot, ask me your question and I shall elucidate you!'

Pilot looked to Captain's hands on his knees; even though his great leader knew about such sinful thoughts, he still had the benignity of exercise his magic on those stupid sleeping legs. The blond haired man blushed and kept his eyes low:

'Sir, is it possible to like two different people at the same time?'

'Aber ja! Of course mein silly flying disgrace!', Captain answered cheerfully. Pilot nodded slowly:

'And Captain... is it possible to like differently the two different persons?', and behind his mask the German man raised an eyebrow and smiled. He nodded and Pilot bit his lower lip, 'And... what is the difference between liking and loving?'

'Aaaw, mein pilot is so cute!', and Captain's gloved hand stirred Pilot's blond hair, 'One is purple, the other is blue.'

The green eyed man bit his lower lip again, wondering what could mean such enigmatic answer. Had he the intelligence to solve Captain's charades? He wanted to know the answer of a last question, but he was too sheepish to voice it:

'Thank you...'

* * *

Snippy frowned as he watched Pilot going after Captain. His mouth felt suddenly sour and he clenched his jaw; where was Pilot going? Wasn't he enjoying what the sniper was doing to him? He sighed sadly and looked at his boots:

'Jealous?', Engie asked and had a seat next to the sniper:

'Bwah?!'

'No 'bwah', Charles... it's written in your face.', the Russian man rolled his eyes. Snippy tried to look skeptic and crossed his arms:

'And why should I? Pilot loves Captain, that's nothing new...', _And that stupid purple eyed boob doesn't even care!_

'There, you got your answer!', Engie smiled, showing his perfect teeth, 'That's bugging you...'

'Radiation is affecting you, you're just saying nonsenses!'

'... because this 'keep an eye on Pilot' thing is becoming more than just keeping an eye on Pilot...'

'Gromov, shut up before it's too late...'

'... and I know you want him just for you and...'

'Can you please STOP?', Snippy yelled the last word and stood up, truly irritated; _Fuck, am I that obvious? I can't be that obvious, if I was that obvious Pilot would have noticed it... unless... oh, bwah..._

Engie watched as the sniper left the living room, visibly defeated. Snippy made his way to the kitchen and sat at the table, crossed his arms and looked at the ceiling. He heard a body being dragged on the floor and he sighed as Pilot pulled his sleeve:

'Snippy-shoe, I'm hungry.'

Then a creepy noise of something heavy cracking nearly made them jump out of their skins. Snippy looked at the window and noticed blocks of concrete and some furniture falling; seemed the upper floors were collapsing. The sniper rushed into Captain's room and told him they should move to another base:

'You are an alarmist boob, Mr. Snippy...', was the answer given. He told Engie, but the Russian just shrugged and said that while Captain was around, everything would be okay.

Yay...

* * *

When Captain declared it was bed time, at first Snippy couldn't sleep; he was too worried, what if the whole building collapsed during the night? Why didn't anybody listen to him?

Pilot felt something was wrong with the sniper, and when they laid down he embraced him and nuzzled his cheek:

'Why are you stressed, shoe?', he asked. Snippy took a deep breath, relaxing a little bit:

'I'm afraid the building might collapse while we're here...', Snippy said, though he wasn't sure if the pilot would understand the situation. He realized he was a little wrong when a shadow of fear crossed Pilot's face, but the green eyed man licked his lips and shook his head:_  
_

'Captain won't let it happen.', he assured. Captain was magic and wise and he would protect them. Pilot smiled and petted Snippy's head, 'Sometimes I think you worry too much...'

'Yeah, maybe...', Snippy mumbled with a certain disappointment; well, what did he expected from Pilot? Even though sometimes he was more mature than what the sniper had thought, he still couldn't realize certain obvious things. _Captain, bwah, always Captain..._ Anyway, it had been good enough the green eyed man had noticed something was wrong, it could only mean he was interested and cared about the sniper.

Right...?

Pilot smiled again:

'Can I see your boobs?'

'Bwah!?', that was completely unexpected! Snippy just blinked his eyes, a serious battle going on his heart; he couldn't deny he didn't want that kind of attention... but... he shouldn't, they shouldn't! Come on, it was Pilot! Who could have something serious with Pilot and his Captain-mania, his childness? Yet the blond haired man seemed so... so caring... so protective... I need you, Pilot had told him, and Snippy really believed it.

The sniper rubbed his face with a hand; they were just two men, one of them was fully grown-up, what could possibly go wrong? Besides, he was always going on a stupid aventure because someone wanted him to do such, so why couldn't he go on an adventure of his own?

A little voice, deep in his brain, told him he would regret that. But the sniper didn't listen to it:

'Only if you show me yours.', he finally answered. He scanned Pilot's face, looking for any trail of lust or something like that, but all he found was pure happiness. So they undressed their jackets and shirts.

Over Snippy's bedside table there was a small candle inside a glass. The little flame was too weak to be seen outside but was strong enough to keep the room in a comfortable semi-darkness. And more than enough to allow Snippy to observe his so desired pilot.

_I didn't remember he was this beautiful..._, Snippy thought and briefly recaled the day he had seen, for the first time, both Pilot's face and torso. Now there was Pilot again; under the heavy leather jacket the pilot was quite slender but with well-defined muscles. Snippy ran his blue eyes through those countless scars and felt a horrible will to touch and follow them, just to see where each started and ended. Like a map he wanted to know by heart.

Pilot's heart was racing faster than ever, enjoying the way the sniper was looking at him and what he had right before his eyes; the forbidden fruit. At his eyes, Snippy was the most perfect thing he had ever seen; elegant and strong as an airplane. And those scars, Pilot could hear them saying 'touch us! touch us!'. He smiled, wondering what would happen, and they looked at each other and exchanged a silent speech. Snippy got closer and placed a hand over Pilot's shoulder, who did the same to Snippy. With a quick nod, they let their hands go down their chests, slowly, making them shiver and tense up, giving them goose bumps and a really strong wish to explore more and more, to say something.

As Pilot traced the scar left by Cancer, he recalled the conversation with Captain; it was possible to like differently two different persons, loving and liking, one was blue the other was purple... He closed his eyes as Snippy ran a finger over his collar bone; he liked Snippy so much... but he loved Captain... but liking Snippy felt... stronger, heavier... it seemed like it needed more space, not just a little nutshell inside Pilot's heart... The green eyed man breathed heavily and aproached his head to Snippy's neck, feeling him trying to repress a new shiver evey time the pilot breathed. It felt so much better than dressing a sleeping Snippy in a bunny suit for Easter... What would he do now? There was only a solution... would Captain hate him for it?

No, Captain was great and cool and wise and... Captain was everything. He would understand. He already knew everything. And maybe that was why his legs were still sleeping, maybe that was the price to pay. The green eyed man didn't care anymore, as long as he could serve Captain and be with Snippy he'd be happy.

Pilot smiled and skimmed his lips on the sniper's neck, while what he felt for the lovely blue eyed shoe expanded from the little nutshell to a whole half of Pilot's heart.

The other half was for Captain.

Feeling the green eyed man's lips on his neck brought Snippy back from the fantasy world and he stopped his adventurous hand, that meanwhile had gone dangerously below the pilot's navel:

'Pilot, we should sleep now...', he whispered and his voice sounded like he had been running the whole day. Pilot offered him a sad look:

'But...'

'You'll have more boobs tomorrow, I promise.', _bwah, that's it, I lost it..._

Pilot nodded happily and curled up in a ball, ready for a good night of sleep.

* * *

**Wee, review?**


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's (magic) note: **thank you all for the reviews and favs and follows, that really makes me happy. :D

* * *

However, while the pilot had a good night of sleep, in peace with his conscience and sure that he was doing everything right, Snippy didn't. He woke up in the middle of the night, overwhelmed with guilt and feeling horribly sick, so sick he thought he'd throw up. _What have I done?_, he thought while curling a lock of Pilot's blond hair on his index finger, _You offered me your friendship and look what I did! You will never understand what I feel now, you're too innocent... I ruined everything..., _but then the sniper shook his head and traced Pilot's broken nose with a finger; _You started this! You approached me, you wanted me to touch you, to hug you, to sleep with you, you asked to see my b-... no... it's not your fault, I'm sorry! You could never imagine I'd end up feeling like this... Bwah, I'm a monster!_

The sniper felt the pilot snuggling on his chest and allowed himself to smile; he loved Pilot, and even though Pilot would never love him back, the sniper had the satisfaction to have him and to protect him, something the Captain didn't. Snippy's smile died; and all that innocent love that filled Pilot's heart was all for Captain... and none for Snippy...

It was almost dawn when the blue eyed man finally fell asleep, and some minutes later the pilot woke up. The blond haired man giggled silently as he realized he had been the first to wake up and he carefully changed to a sitting position. He cherished Snippy's dark hair; _Silly shoe, now I just need to find the perfect time to tell you how much I... oohh, I know! I'm such a genious! _Pilot grinned and looked around, until his eyes fixed the window and he tried to see through the curtains and the dirty glass if it was snowing. He smiled; he wanted to go outside and play in the snow! He'd build a magnificent statue of Captain, another one, smaller of course, of Snippy and he'd build an army of Engies so that he could behead them and Snippy could make some target practise. He'd also call Photoshop and they'd dig tunnels in the snow!

It would be an awesome day! And the pilot was so eager to go outside that he tried to stand up... and it was already too late when he remembered about his legs. Snippy heard a 'BUMP!' and grimaced, his eyes still closed:

'Bwaah, Pilot...?', he mumbled, touching Pilot's half of the bed with a hand. Finding nothing, he opened his eyes and peeked to the floor, 'Pilot! Are you okay?', and the sniper jumped to the floor and helped the green eyed man to sit on the bed. Pilot nodded, lightly pouted; he had thought about waking up Snippy in a nicier way... But he smiled again and dandled himself:

'Did you sleep well?', he asked. The sniper smiled back and nodded, 'You are a beautiful shoe, maybe you'll acquire the boot status soon!'

'You're a beautiful _pochette_, too...', Snippy mumbled shyly and looked down:

'Snippy, I felt something when you were touching me!', Pilot suddenly said, goggling his eyes like he had remembered something of extreme importance, 'It was a funny feeling in my middle, what is it? Did you feel it too? It was good, can I have it again?'

The sniper widened his eyes and smiled, amazed; he had thought that since Pilot was paraplegic, he couldn't feel nothing below his waistline. Literally. He blushed, feeling something between proud and happy for making Pilot feel such things. And if Pilot could feel such things for him... maybe there was a little chance of...

_No... that's something... normal in these situations, I think... there's no need to love the other..._, he thought bitterly, stood up and walked to the window, trying to hide his sudden sadness:

'Is it snowing?', Pilot asked cheerfuly, pretending to ignore the sudden change on Snippy's face. The sniper peeked outside:

'No, it's... a beautiful day.', _A b__eautiful day in the wastelands, really?, _and he smiled again as Pilot threw confetti everywhere.

* * *

Engie was eating canned olives when Snippy and Pilot joined him. The sniper helped the pilot to sit at the table and opened the cupboard to find just a few cans of sweet corn and Captain's sausages and Strudel:

'Yes Charles, we need more food...', Engie mumbled sadly. Pilot grimaced and tried to kick the engineer, but his legs did not obey:

'Stupid jiggly flip-flop, why don't you get your own food? And stop calling Snippy 'Charles', that's the ugliest name ever!', Pilot complained. Snippy just smiled and offered him a can of sweet corn and a plastic fork. Engie grimaced too:

'I have other things to do, and it's not my fault that Charles' parents gave him an ungly name!'

'You are a stupid and lazy and fat shoe!'

'Pilot, eat your corn.', Snippy demanded and tried to be serious; it felt so good to be protected... Pilot darted a last angry look at the Russian man and hurried to have his breakfast; if he could just behead the REAL Engie, and not some snowmen...

To make the day brighter, Captain danced into the kitchen:

'Mein mi-ni-ooons! Today is one of zee most important days of zee month!', the German man sang and stirred Pilot's blond hair. Snippy chewed his corn angrily, 'You must be pretty and sexy for zee Christmas party, tomorrow.'

'Captain, we must go for another base!', Snippy exclaimed. But before he could tell why, Captain ignored him and picked up from a pocket of his jacket a bottle of shower gel. But it wasn't just a bottle of shower gel, it was Disney Princess shower gel! It was given to Snippy, who grimaced at Bella:

'Nonsense, Mr. Snippy-snipster!', Captain replayed and gave Pilot a Disney Car shampoo and Engie a Barbie shampoo. He then picked up from another pocket a Nivea bottle of 2 in 1 and clapped his hands, 'Today is bath-day!'

'But the water is fucking cold!', Engie cried. Pilot covered his mouth with the hands and Snippy frowned:

'Gromov, language!'

'Exactly, Mr. Snippy! As a punishment, Mr. Engie will be the last one to have a bath.', Captain declared, 'I'm going first, then mein pilot, then mein sniper, and then mein engineer.'

The German man made his way to the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Pilot looked sadly at the shampoo bottle and Snippy handed him his shower gel bottle, with a small smile:

'Can you put this in our room and bring our masks? I'm just finishing my corn.', he said. Pilot bit his lower lip:

'But the bath...'

'We have time.', the sniper assured. And the happy Pilot crawled to the room, leaving Snippy and Engie alone for a while. The Russian man stared at the sniper and cleared his throat:

'You seem tense.', he observed. Snippy sighed and put his empty can aside, 'Is it something wrong?'

Sinppy looked at Engie; not that the engineer was the best of friends, but maybe he could tell him something useful. And maybe that would make him feel part of the group too. The sniper sighed:

'It's just... I think Pilot and I crossed boundaries we shouldn't have crossed...', he mumbled. Engie nodded and smiled, and Snippy's suddenly ashamed look just assured him of what were those boundaries:

'Why do you say so? I know you like him, and I know he likes you. And when I say 'like' I mean...'

'Pilot and I are friends... and... after this I will never look at him again the same way, do you understand? And he'll only look at me as a friend an-'

'Charles Snippy!'

'You're laughing on my face, ok... I was already expecting that from you...', Snippy grumbled angrily and stood up. Engie managed to contain his laughter and held the sniper by the arm:

'Afraid of Captain?', he asked, trying really hard to keep serious. Snippy didn't want to answer, he should have known talking to the silly Russian would be fruitless, but still he nodded, 'Captain and Pilot never crossed boundaries...'

'How do you know?'

'Body language...', Engie grinned as Snippy widened his eyes, 'You are a lucky bastard, Charles... finding love in such an era... even if your partner is some kind of crazy psycho.'

'Better a fond crazy psycho than a machine...', Snippy hissed and shook off Engie's hand from his jacket, 'At least Pilot is a real human being, with natural and true feelings.', and with this he left to the room, nearly stumbling on Pilot who was already in the corridor. He hurried to cover his head with the hood, mask and goggles before Pilot could notice something. He seized the other man and walked to the door.

Engie just stood there, looking at his hands; how dared that pencil-pusher, now rifle-pusher!? He was so much better than him and there he was, alone!

And there wasn't a single human nor a single machine to love him...

* * *

As usual, being with Pilot was like entering a magic portal to another dimension. A rainbow dimension with no worries and problems.

Behind his snow fortress, just a little snow-wall, Snippy piled dozens of snowballs. A few meters away, Pilot was doing the same. When he finished, he peeked over the wall and a snowball hit his face:

'SHOE!', he exclaimed and hid again:

'Snippy 1, Pilot 0!', the sniper celebrated. He grabbed two balls and, carefully, exposed his head. A ball missed him for a few centimeters, 'You failed agai-', this time another ball hit him and he quickly drew back to the safety of his fortress:

'I dare you to say that again!', he heard Pilot saying, 'Photoshop, help me!'

'That's unfair!', Snippy exclaimed and threw more balls towards Pilot. The ground trembled behind the sniper and Photoshop emerged from the snow covered sand, and all the sniper could do was running away, exposing himself to Pilot's snowballs:

'GROOOOOOOOM!', Photoshop roared and used her tail to make Snippy trip and fall. Pilot quickly crawled to the sniper and tickled his sides while Photoshop circled them, half-covering them with snow:

'You are a cheater, take this!', Snippy laughed and grabbed a handful of snow that he smashed on Pilot's head. Then Photoshop seized him by the hood and Pilot began to dig in the snow:

'You're my treasure Snippy, I'm going to bury you!'

Behind his mask the blue eyed man smiled, touched, but he really didn't want to be buried... Photoshop was starting to droll and the sniper looked around. From the frozen beach he could see their base, the building definitely had seen better days. That sad corpse of civilization made him sigh and come back to reality:

'Pilot, we need to go back.'

'But I still need to make a statue of Captain and...'

'You can make it tomorrow, yes?'

With a sigh, Pilot stopped digging and petted Photoshop:

'Fine... release him, pretty girl.', and the giant catterpilar dropped Snippy, who fell on his backside. With a grumble and shaking the droll off his hood, Snippy stood up, draped the pilot's arms around his shoulders and hauled him up, 'Snippy, make a race with Photoshop!'

'Bwah...', and Snippy sprinted with Pilot on his arms, but Photoshop was faster and, while crawling, she'd throw snow to the sides. A victorious Photoshop waited from them near their base and purred as Pilot hugged her huge head. The mutant worm crawled away, slowly, and hid among the junk. Tired, Snippy opened the front door with a foot and made his way upstairs, 'Pilot?'

'Yes?'

'Am I really your treasure?', Snippy was glad his facewear hid his horribly red cheeks. Pilot giggled and nodded, but Snippy didn't have the guts to ask why.

* * *

Captain was still having a bath and Engie was reading on the couch. Reading was becoming really boring... The engineer heard the door opening and he saw Snippy carrying Pilot to the room. He cleared his throat and closed the book:

'Hey, Charles!', he called. Blue and green lenses fixed on him, the green ones seemed particulary furious, 'Can I give you a word?'

Snippy looked from Engie to Pilot. The blond haired man shook his head and pulled his jacket, trying to make him walk again, but the sniper gently put him on the floor:

'It may be important.', Snippy said even though he doubted that. Pilot pouted and crawled to the room; that stupid engie-sandal...

Snippy put his hands on the pockets and walked towards Engie, stopping in front of him. The engineer didn't like to be in an inferiour position, but he just sighed and looked down:

'I'm sorry if I offended you, I didn't mean it...', he mumbled. Snippy raised his eyebrows, 'It's just... it's so fucking unfair, I'm so much better than you and...', Engie pulled his own hair as the sniper turned his back at him, 'I'm sorry again!'

Snippy glanced behind, to the pleading Russian man, and he couldn't help but pity him; he, who had been so important, adored by many, was just another miserable minion of Captain. A lonely one. The sniper allowed himself to smile; indeed, Fate is a funny thing. He turned at Engie again and crossed his arms:

'I want to ask you a favour, then.', the sniper started. Engie nodded, 'Can you build some kind of all-terrain wheelchair for Pilot? Not that I don't like to carry him, but I think he'd like to have some of his autonomy back...'

'That's the easiest thing ever!', Engie exclaimed and clapped his hands in joy, 'Finally, something adequate for my capacities! I just refuse to go outside alone to gather the pieces...'

'I'll go with you, then.', the sniper removed his gas mask to show his radiant smile to the other man.

Then Captain came out of the bathroom and, apparently, nothing had changed; same trenchoat, same shroud, same hat, same mask... and the mug:

'Mein pilot, time for your bath!', Captain announced and went to his room. Snippy and Engie exchanged a look and the sniper trotted to the bedroom, to find Pilot with his face uncovered and unzipping his jacket:

'See, I'm back!', the sniper announced and kneeled on front of Pilot. He put his mask and goggles aside and seized Pilot to sit him at the edge of the bed, 'Do you want help?'

Pilot was about to nod when something occured him; _If you help me, it will be like seeing a Christmas gift before Christmas... and that sucks!_ So the green eyed man shook his head and fought the urge to explain Snippy why he refused his help.

The sniper felt like someone had punched his stomach and a painful expression covered his face:

'Don't... don't you want help?', he asked once more. And Pilot shook his head again; _You'll understand why, my dear shoe... you just need to wait a little. _The green eyed man looked down, he didn't want to look at Snippy, he didn't want to see he was hurting him:

'Can... you leave, please?'

'But... are you sure?', Snippy never imagined he would plead to help someone, 'I mean... I... I just wanted to help with the boots... and maybe the trousers and...'

'Can you extend a towel over the bed?', the Pilot asked. Snippy nodded, sadly, and he did what he was asked and left the room.

And before he could notice, he was sitting on the couch next to the Russian engineer, too shocked and confued to actually feel something coherent:

'I've just got the proof there won't be anything besides friendship, between Pilot and me...', the sniper mumbled. Engie frowned:

'Maybe he's just pouted because you talked to me...?', the Russian suggested. Snippy shook his head, sadly, _I shouldn't have done that... I really shouldn't..._

* * *

**Weeeee, review?**


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's (mirabulous) note: **geez, it has been a while! D: I'm so sorry... My hand is still injured and now I'm at my father's house and I have little time because I have riding lessons every day. Anyway, this chapter sucks and doesn't have all the happenings I had planned, but I really wanted to update this. Maybe I'll edit this later. :/ Well, I hope you like it... just a little, please?

* * *

As Snippy left the room, Pilot cursed himself for making the sniper sad. He noticed Mr. Kittyhawk was looking at him and frowned:

'Don't look at me like that, I know what I'm doing!', the pilot explained, 'And you'll see, Snippy will love the surprise! And we will be happy forever, together and serving the Captain!', he then undressed his jacket and t-shirt and pulled his legs to his chest, so that he could untie the boots. He threw them aside, imagining he had just smashed Engie with them.

Engie! No, Snippy should be with him now! Pilot didn't want Snippy around Engie, he was a bad, horrible shoe!

Pilot unzipped his trousers, thinking furiously, and he struggled to take them off. He threw his trousers to a chair and the same destiny waited his underwear. He then hoisted himself to the bed and wrapped himself on the towel; _There, I am a genious!:_

'SNIPPY-SHOE!', he called. It took only some seconds for Snippy to rush into the room, 'Can you take me to the bathroom?'

The sniper nodded, feeling suddenly and stupidly happy; yes, Pilot needed him! He carried Pilot bridal style to the bathroom and sat him at the edge of the bathtube:

'Anything else?', the blue eyed man asked. Pilot giggled, Snippy was such a better minion since they were together!:

'Can you bring me a small black bag from my backbag?', the blond haired man asked. Snippy sprinted to the room, found the needed item and sprinted back to the bathroom. The sniper watched as the pilot checked if he had everything he needed, hoping he had satisfied him. Pilot looked at him again and smiled, 'You are a lovely shoe!'

'Anything else?', _Bwah, think about the old days when you were always wishing his extinction and look at you now!_

Pilot hesitated; for moments, he imagined how wonderful it would be if the sniper soaped him and how funny it would be to splash some water on the sniper. And what would happen, if by any magical means they ended up together in the bathtub, soaked, naked... But no, they had to wait! So the green eyed man shook his head and looked down again:

'I'll call you if I need, shoe.', he finally answered. Snippy nodded, hopeful, and he got out of the bathroom. Alone, Pilot shaved, dropped the towel on the floor and managed to sit inside the bathtub. He looked at the shower, it was so high... With a sigh, the pilot turned the water-tap and whimpered a little as the freezing water dropped slowly over him; _Oww, maybe if Snippy was here it would be warmer..._, Pilot thought sadly.

Maybe he should suggest Captain to use his sexyness to warm the water...?

* * *

The sniper left the bathroom and made his way to the couch. Engie had gathered some papers and a pen and the Russian man raised an eyebrow when Snippy took a seat next to him:

'You look better now.', he said. Snippy hurried to put on his serious face again:

'What are you doing?', he asked evasively. Engie rolled his amber eyes but decided to leave the sniper in peace:

'So, I'm going to draw the wheel-chair, it's called planification.', the engineer explained, 'And you are going to help me.'

'My drawings are rubbish...'

'You're not going to draw, untalented one! You are going to tell me how do you visualize the chair.'

'Hmm... a wheel-chair... with catterpilars...?'

'Are you sure about the wheel-chair, don't you want a mini-tank?', Engie smiled and started to sketch. Snippy just watched and he thought of useful things to incorporate on the chair. He allowed himself to smile as he imagined Pilot clicking a red button that would make a pair of mechanical wings pop up.

Oh, Pilot would be so glad if he could go on missions on his own... and he'd be so happy if he could play with Photoshop again, and 'fly' around the junk and pester everybody like in the old times... Captain didn't have such ideas, stupid germanic boob... Snippy smiled and leaned on the couch; _Maybe he will like me more, then! _

He looked at the drawing again, but this time the sniper frowned:

'Gromov... what if Pilot thinks I want to get rid of him?', and the engineer stopped drawing and grimaced:

'That's your problem!'

'Thank you very much...'

'Maybe you should ask him first... so you won't have troubles and I won't waist neurons.'

Arrogant, but such a good idea... The blue eyed man let out a sigh; he just wanted to make Pilot happy...

'SNIPPY-SHOE!', Pilot called from the bathroom. Snippy jumped to the floor and ran to the bathroom, leaving Engie wondering if a normal human being could be that fast. The sniper peeked into the bathroom and found Pilot lying on the floor over his stomach, shaking with cold and poorly wrapped on the towel. Snippy smiled, feeling like an idiot, and he tried his best to keep an eye-contact and not look to the exposed parts, 'Snippy, the towel was mean for me!'

The blue eyed man just kept that silly smile and kneeled next to the pilot. He managed to wrap the towel correctly and he took the green eyed man to their room. As the sniper laid the blond haired man on the bed, he felt Pilot's hands grabbing his jacket:

'Snippy, it's cold...', Pilot mumbled, and only then Snippy noticed the pilot's purplish lips. He frowned and gently rubbed Pilot's arms, 'I don't want to have a bath again, I don't want to be an ice cream...'

'What if we lay down for a while?', Snippy suggested and he felt a sudden fear; what if Pilot rejected him? But the green eyed man nodded eagerly, so Snippy turned his back at him while he dried himself. Snippy kneeled next to Pilot's bag and threw him some clothes and he waited, his back still turned at the Pilot, fighting the urge to glance over his shoulder.

After what looked like an eternity, Snippy found himself under the blankets with a shivering Pilot cuddled on him. He sighed and felt lighter; _Maybe he's too shy to undress when I'm looking. Or maybe, _the sniper grimaced sadly, _he doesn't want me to see him like that because... well, friends are not supposed to see each other naked, right? Charles Snippy, you are a monster..._

The dark haired man fondled Pilot's wet blond hair and thought about skipping the bath just to spend a little more time with the child-man. However, Snippy's stomach grumbled angrily and for the sniper it felt like someone had pulled the carpet from under his feet; they were running out of food and water! To the heck with the bath... and he would have to wait some more to be with Pilot again...:

'Snippy?', the green eyed man called as he felt his companion getting tense. He stared at Snippy's blue eyes, confused, and frowned lightly when the sniper cherished his cheek , 'Stupid shoe, why are you so weird?'

'I have to go outside and get us some food...', the sniper replayed sadly. Gosh, Pilot's disappointed face made him feel hedious, 'It will just take me a few minutes!'

'Liar, it will take you the whole day!', the child-man mumbled sadly and moved away from the sniper, 'It's that stupid boat shoe, isn't it? If he can't live of his own fat, why doesn't he get his own food? He's sabotaging us and your bath-mission!'

'Aren't you hungry, too?', the sniper asked exasperatingly; _Bwah, sometimes you make it so easy, sometimes you make it so difficult!_, 'I'm not getting food because Engie told me to do such, we all need it! And I'll have my bath when I come back.'

'Snippy, I'm still cold...', and the pilot began to shudder and tried to look extremely sad. However, Snippy raised an eyebrow and Pilot lowered his head, 'I'm not that cold anymore but still... I don't want you to go!'

'I'll be quick, I promise.'

Pilot just grumbled something and pouted, hidding his head under the pillow. Snippy sighed heavily and put on his facewear; now he didn't want to go, he felt like ignoring Captain and Engie, forget about them, and focus on Pilot's and his existence. But he couldn't... Snippy covered his head with the hood and patted Pilot's back:

'You'll see, I'll be quick. Go have your lunch and Mr. Kittyhawk, keep an eye on him.', and he left, wodering why he had talked to the damn plushie. He peeked into the living room and Engie looked at him, confused, 'You can go in my turn, I'll get us some food.'

* * *

Outside the gloomy sky was darkening and there was a soft breeze that promised a violent snowstorm. Snippy shoved his gloved hands into his pockets and quicked his step; he'd go into the first place that appeared to have food and bring whatever he'd find. The sniper wandered among the piles of junk and remains of buildings, until he spotted a restaurant with what seemed to be an esplanade. _Perfect!_, and the sniper sprinted to the restaurant.

He got in, handgun ready for any emergency. Seemed it had been a very luxurious restaurant, but all the expensive furniture was burnt and the once beautiful mirrors that adorned the walls were shattered. There were a few clients, forever waiting for their meal, and some waiters lying sadly on the ground. Snippy made his way to the bar area and got some bottles of vodka and whiskey; those were good to disinfect wounds. He then went to the kitchen and nearly fell into a hole in the ground. Grumbling something against gravity laws, he carefully bypassed the hole and tried not to trip on the skeleton-cookers. Seemed there wasn't any food in sight and the sniper wondered if someone had gotten there first. The best he found were some lost and dusty cans of tomatoes under a metal kitchen table.

With a disappointed sigh, the sniper made his way out the kitchen; he thought about going to look for food somewhere else, but he really wanted to go back for Pilot. He stepped in the dinning room and the sight of Captain sitting at a table made the sniper gasp:

'What are you doing here?', he asked and trotted to the German man, 'Come on, let's go back.'

'I'm going to have a chic lunch, ja? And I know you didn't have your bath, such a bad snippy-sniper! Nobody wants a smelly and bearded boyfriend, jiggly dirty minion!'

'You're not going to have a chic lunch because there's nobody to cook the non-existent chic food...'

'Nonsense, Mr. Snippy!', Captain tilted his head and looked at what was left of a waiter, 'Herr Ober, bitte!'

Snippy crossed his arms; he wouldn't miss that...

Nothing happened. The German man called again and again, but that incompetent corpse didn't even look at the Captain! Then Captain did something that Snippy could never imagine; he got completely pissed off and, while yelling and cursing in German, jumped to the waiter and shook it by the shoulders. The skull dropped from the body and rolled away to the kitchen:

'Can we go now?', Snippy asked. Captain looked at him, hands placed on his hips:

'I want to talk to the boss!', Captain demanded, 'And call the TV and tell the World this miserable restaurant refused me a lunch, me, the great Captain!'

'I saw the boss leaving by the back door...'

'Mr. Snippy, from this lovely dinning room you can't see the back door!', Captain cleared his throat and raised an arm, 'I demand you to bring me the responsible for such horrible restaurant!'

The sniper let out a sad 'bwah...' and walked away, looking for the management room or something like that. He wondered what could happen if he just had the guts to say 'no!' to that damned crazy man and leave. The sniper smilled sadly as he remembered Pilot telling him he worried too much, and maybe it was true...

If he just didn't care about the others...

Snippy was so lost in thoughts that he didn't even notice he stepped over something at the entrance of a corridor that made a cracking sound. Only a few steps ahead the sniper froze and widened his eyes, _'Crack'?_. Slowly, Snippy walked towards a carpet and noticed there was something under it. He uncovered the thing and found a smashed cockroach, big as a cat. With a horrified 'bwah!', the sniper leaned against a wall and covered his goggles with the hands; he hated cockroaches! He looked around, hoping his stomach liquid would calm down again, and noticed a semi-open door not far from the smashed cockroach. Maybe that was the management room...

Carefuly, Snippy opened the door and peeked into the room. A cockroach, big as a man, was sitting at a desk with glasses, a tie poorly wrapped around its head and a cigar. A well-dressed and semi-eaten skelleton laid on the floor not far from it. The sniper let out a scream and closed the door again, only to realize he was surrounded by giant cockroaches. Completely in panic, the sniper fired randomly and managed to run away.

Captain was still waiting on the dinning room and seemed pleased when he saw Snippy coming from a corridor:

'Ah, Mr. Snippy, do y-...', his sentence was cut as the sniper grabbed his wrist and nearly dragged him. An angry 'squiiiiirsh!' was heard. The Captain placed a hand over his hat, 'This behaviour is unnaceptable! Seems today everybody is making zee epic fun of me!'

'COCKROACHES!', Snippy cried while running:

'Ah, zee kitchen is infested uh? I'll call the food-police and they'll be punished with broccoli!'

They stopped again on the esplanade because the sniper noticed the acess stairs were blocked with more and bigger cockroaches. He glanced behind right on time to see the other cockroaches coming from the dinning room. The freaked out sniper shook the Captain by the shoulders:

'Do something, they'll eat us!', Snippy yelled in a shrill voice. Captain pushed him away and pretended to shake off dust from his jacket. He then looked around, to the giant cockroaches getting closer and closer:

'Mr. Snippy, grab my boob!', Captain demanded:

'NO WAY!'

'Aaaww, I see you only grab Pilot's boobs, fidelity is such a beautiful thing!', Captain clapped his hands and held Snippy's arm with an iron grip, 'It's adventure time, snippy-snipster!', and with this the German man jumped from the esplanade; the ground waited for them at a distance of 5 meters...

The sniper closed his eyes and waited for the pain to come. But such didn't happen. Snippy dared to open one eye and screamed again; they were flying! Or better, floating above the junk, dragged by the wind that had became stronger. Incredulous, the blue eyed man looked at his Captain and let out another scream, this time a frustrated one; Captain had opened a rainbow umbrella and that device had just saved their lifes:

'You... you...', Snippy bit his tongue before something very unpleasent came out, 'You have a flying umbrella! And you send Pilot in those stupid missions!'

Captain let go of the umbrella and they both fell on the ground. Snippy's legs collapsed under the sniper's weight but Captain landed graciously. He then picked up a white handkerchief from his pocket and waved it to the umbrella, carried away by the wind:

'You were saying, mein sniper?', Captain asked and looked at him. Snippy's mask hid a very ugly vein on the sniper's forehead. With an inhuman roar, the sniper kicked a poor little stone that happened to be on his way and ran into the base.

* * *

**Wee, review? D:**


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's (gegen die Stille) note: **it has been a while! D: I'm so sorry! But finally, after spamming my dA account, I finally updated this story. I'd also like to thank for the favs, reviews and follows. :)

* * *

Pilot watched the sniper leave and, after hearing the sound of the door closing, let out a frustrated growl. He grabbed Mr. Kittyhawk and hugged it:

'You could tell your monster friends to eat the stupid science man...', the sad child-man mumbled. Why didn't Snippy give him attention? Didn't the sniper like him anymore? Or maybe Captain was jealous and wanted Snippy away, so that he could have Pilot for himself. Back in the old times it would be a great thing, but not now... the blond-haired man held the puffin plushie closer; being divided sucks...

He closed his eyes for brief moments, just trying to see the happenings of the previous night on his mind, just trying to feel that again. Stupid sexy shoe, always hurting him... Pilot sighed, but only some tenuous images of Snippy danced before his eyes. This images were soon replaced by even more tenuous and misty images of a city. Pilot frowned and tightened his grip around Mr. Kittyhawk, but he couldn't open his eyes.

_Everything is calm. The sun sets. Now there is smoke, funny smoke shaped as a mushroom. More of them rise from the city. There are screams. He feels uncomfortable. More mushrooms. Fire. It's dark. Something happens, he's falling faster and faster. An explosion and an excruciating pain. The world is on fire and spins around, the pain is so unbearable he laughs and cries at the same time. It's darker. There's some music, maybe a fiddle. Yes, a fiddle. The music is nice. There's something playing and dancing in the middle of the smoke and ashes, it's a tall bony figure with a long black shred and a hood covering the head. It's getting closer, closer, closer... the music stops and the figure offers him a gaunt hand, 'Just hold my hand, I'll take you there... your pain will go away!'. He doesn't have the strenght to do such, so he allows the bony figure to to take his hand. And the pain was soothing. However, another figure appeared next to the bony one, he couldn't tell how did this new one looked like but it said, 'I'm impressed by your flying skills, mein dear! It is with great joy that I annouce you're now part of zee most glorious army ever; mein army!'_

_The pain was too strong and he passed out. When he woke up he was laid on a semi-burnt matress and there was a very strong smell of tea._

_Everyone else was dead._

_He had killed them._

_MURDERER!_

Pilot hit his head on the floor and noticed he had rolled off the bed. With a terrorized cry, he shoved his beloved plushie to an inside pocket of his leather jacket and crawled out of the room the faster he could:

'It's after me again!', he cried and looked for shelter in a corner of the kitchen. How he wished Snippy was there to protect him!, 'The creepy musician is after me again, go away!'

'What is after you?', Engie asked as he peeked into the kitchen. The fear in Pilot's green eyes was quickly replaced by the usual puckish shine:

'Not your business, stupid flip-flop... go away, leave me alone! Where is Snippy, did you eat him? Because you look fatter, and if you ate him I'm going to open that greasy belly of yours and take him out!'

Engie let out a pray in Russian and hurried to leave. Alone again, Pilot realized he was a little hungry. Stupid sniper-shoe, maybe he was right about the food... The green-eyed man crawled to the counter and hauled himself up, then he stretched his arm and tried to reach the cabinet's door, but it was too high. If Snippy was there to take care of him, nothing of that would happen...

Stupid shoe...

Pilot let himself fall on the floor and crawled to the living room; he'd make Engie's life a true hell, so the slug would go on food and water quests just to avoid him. That would make Snippy stay with him! _I'm a genious!_, Pilot thought as he entered the living room where Engie was trying to fix a recently found iPad. The Russian man spotted the green-eyed pilot and frowned:

'What do you want now?', he asked. Pilot had a smile, that wasn't good:

'I want to play!'

'Play?', Engie scratched his head; well, that's what children do, they play... He shrugged and put his iPad aside, 'And play what?'

'Chase the slug.', Pilot's smile grew sinister, 'You are the slug, I'm the hunter! You can hide on the bathroom! And it starts... now!'

Engie screamed and pulled his feet to the couch, but he soon found out the couch wasn't a safe place. He jumped to the floor, but the blond-haired man grabbed his ankle and pulled him. The Russian engineer lost his balance and fell with a cry of pain. Pilot clapped his hands:

'I win! Let's play again! It's starts... now!'

Engie yelled in Russian and tried to stand up, but a well-apllied blow between his shoulder-blades immobilized him. Engie whimpered as the furious pain ran down his spine:

'I win again!', Pilot celebrated, 'Let's play again!'

'Why don't you kill me now?', Engie cried and curled in a ball, 'Stop torturing me, please!'

'If I kill you, Snippy must find the food. But if I don't, you can do it for him.', the green-eyed man explained. His plan was just too brilliant for that horrible crock. Engie pulled his own hair; how could that stupid rifle-pusher leave him alone with such a beast?:

'Captain call's me MR. ENGIE, which means I'm an ENGINEER!', he yelled and changed to a sitting position. The mention of Captain made the pilot's heart skip a beat; oh-oh, he had completely forgotten about that, 'I FIX things, I DON'T find food!'

'But Captain calls Snippy a sniper, so he must SHOOT DOWN things like fat slugs! A sniper is not supposed to find food!', Pilot replayed angrily. Engie facepalmed:

'Fine, I'll go get the food!', of course he wouldn't, he just wanted Pilot to leave him alone.

Pilot goggled his green eyes and smiled, a true happy smile:

'Really?'

'Yes...', and there was confetti everywhere; Snippy would be so happy! He didn't have to worry anymore, he could play all the day with Pilot! And there would be rainbows and Photoshop swiming in a tea-lake and airplanes and...

The door opened and Snippy came in.

* * *

Snippy shut the door and felt something wrapping around his legs. Someone else would think about an anaconda, but Snippy knew it was just Pilot. He looked down and there was that adorable face looking at him, offering the most beautiful smile ever. And the sniper smilled a little; Pilot would like the cockroach story... He removed his facewear and seized Pilot:

'I missed you! Are you okay? Can we go outside again? Will you acomplish your bath-mission? Do you think Mr. Kittyhawk should have a bath too?', Pilot asked as the sniper carried him to the room. Snippy heard Engie cursing in Russian and he peeked into the living room, but he thought that something was wrong with the iPad. The sniper let out a tired 'bwah...' and carried Pilot to the room:

'I missed you too. No, I'm not okay. No, we can't go outside again. Yes, sadly I'll go acomplish my bath-mission. No, Mr. Kittyhawk is fine.', Snippy replayed as he let the pilot on the bed. He threw away his facewear and jacket in an angry gesture and felt Pilot's fingers tangling on his. He looked again to the green eyed man and let out a defeated sigh. Snippy kneeled in front of Pilot and rested his head on the other man's legs:

'Why are you not okay?'

'Some giant cockroaches tried to eat Captain and me...', and he decided not to tell about the flying umbrella, that could hurt Pilot's feelings; that German bastard!

'I'm gald they didn't eat you! Tell me where they hide, and I'll go there and behead them, one by one!'

Snippy smilled and looked at the Pilot:

'Captain is okay, too.'

'I know Captain is okay, Captain is God and God is immortal, which means Captain is everything-proof. So I don't need to worry about him. But I worry about you.'

The sniper just smilled and tried to hide his terribly red face.

At night Pilot told Snippy about the creepy fiddler. He wasn't scared anymore, the sniper was finally there. He also told him about how he had convinced Engie to get them food and water. Snippy just nodded, even though he knew Engie would never cooperate. Later he'd find a nice way to tell Pilot he was going to find some supplies, or maybe they could go together. The green-eyed man would surely love it.

But in that moment the sniper didn't give a damn about those problems, he had had a hard day, the water was colder than he expected and he even managed to cut his face while shaving. He just wanted to have a peaceful night on Pilot's arms, with no nightmares and no boobs. And he was gladly surprised when Pilot respected his wishes of a calm night.

_Maybe we can make this work!_, Snippy thought before falling asleep. The sniper slept like a rock and didn't listen to the terrible fuss of wind and concret and bricks. Pilot woke up, but he decided not to bother the sniper.

* * *

That day Captain danced silently through the house, leaving poorly drawn mistletoes everywhere. If the weird kitty had colaborated, he'd have true and fresh mistletoes for his minions... but no, but no, the bad kitty didn't really have a Christmas spirit.

Captain just stopped his happy dance to take a better look at the kitchen. Oh, what a wonderful surprise! He then rushed into Snippy's and Pilot's room and, using small Bostik balls, glued mistletoes everywhere. The German thought about calling Engie so that he could take a picture of his two lovely minions kissing, but maybe they'd enjoy some privacy. Aaww, it was so cute to be in love!

He removed Christmas hats from his pocket and left six of them over Snippy and Pilot. Then he left to wake up Engie.

Snippy opened his eyes little later. He felt in a really good mood. However... _Wait a minute... BWAH!_, and he changed to a sitting position and looked around; mistletoes, mistletoes everywhere! Captain was really determined to humiliate him...:

'What's wrong with you, shoe?', Pilot asked lazily. Snippy was about to answer when the child-man noticed the drawings and the hats,'IT'S CHRISTMAS!'

'But my point is that...', his sentece was cut as Pilot roughly pressed his lips against the sniper's. And even though they could have broken their noses, Snippy loved the gesture and gave up on ranting about Captain's plans to supreme humiliation. To the heck with the German bastard, he was probly jealous.

They tried really hard to kiss, like in the movies. But all they got was a mess of noses, lips, teeth and drool. Pilot blushed as he cleaned his mouth to the back of his hand; maybe he should calm down first... yes, he really should, Snippy looked like someone had punched his mouth:

'It's Christmas!', Pilot said again, this time trying to controll his excitment, 'Merry Christmas, stupid shoe!'

'Merry Christmas for you, too...', Snippy replayed and put a hat on Pilot's head. He looked so cute!, 'Why do we have so many hats?'

'To cover your boobs, mein pervy minions!', Captain answered from the door. Engie was standing next to him, sleepy, annoyed and with the hat's pompon hanging over his nose. Snippy grew paler:

'Did you just see...'

'Don't be silly, snipser-snippy! I have other things to do than watching my minions love life!', Captain replayed. Meanwhile Pilot was trying to give use to the other hats, 'Now mein lovebirds, hurry up! We shall have a Christmas breakfast in our brand new kitchen and then a Christman party outside!'

Brand new kitchen? Snippy didn't like the way it sounded...

With a horrified 'bwah!', the sniper realized the kitchen's ceiling and half of a wall were gone; 'zee lovely terrace', as Captain called it. Pilot was completely thrilled and Snippy predicted a very, very tiring day. With a helping hand from Engie, Snippy took all the food from the cupboard to the living room, before something terrible happened. After breakfast, he closed the kitchen door and made it clear for Pilot that, if he found him in 'zee lovely terrace', there wouldn't be anymore boobs.

And even though Pilot thought the terrace the master piece of all the architectonic master pieces of Captania, he liked Snippy's boobs more.

So they went to the frozen beach. Somehow, a huge ammount of skeletons with Christmas hats was gathered on the snow-covered sand. Even Photoshop had a Christmas hat.

While Captain set an improved table for lunch, Engie sat alone and focused on the iPad again. Snippy, Pilot and Photoshop started a snow-fight against the skeletons that ended with the glorious victory of Captain's army and all the guests headless.

Snippy didn't want Pilot to eat the Strüdel thing, but the Strüdel was for everybody and even the sniper had to eat it. And it wasn't that bad. Then Captain started telling completely absurd Christmas tales and Engie, after drinking two bottles of vodka, began to sing something between English and Russian:

'It's Eurovision's Christmas edition!', he excused. Snippy rolled his eyes, every year was the same thing; Captain saying nonsenses and Engie getting drunk. But for the first time, Pilot and Photoshop weren't trying to bury him in the snow, excusing he was the Grinch. For the first time, Photoshop was pretending to be a giant pillow and the sniper and the pilot were leaning against her, holding each other's hands.

Snippy sighed and drew a small heart in the snow, part of him wishing Pilot couldn't see it, the other part hoping he would notice it; for the first time in years, Charles Snippy enjoyed Christmas in Captania.

* * *

Back home Engie dragged himself close to a mistletoe drawing and kissed his iPad. Captain thought it lovely and said something about love über alles. Snippy and Pilot went to the room, clicking their masks together in playful kisses. The sniper didn't want to find out if that sudden attention was only because there were mistletoes everywhere, he was enjoying it too much.

When they reached their room, the blue eyed man closed the door with his foot and Pilot got rid of their masks. His face was red and something strange shone on his electrifying green eyes:

'Snippy-shoe, I have a Christmas present for you!', he said. And Snippy's heart started to run faster.

* * *

**Weeee, review?**


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's (rubbish) note: **finally! D: Writing this chapter was pretty difficult for me. :| Anyway, I hope you like how this turned out.

* * *

Snippy laid Pilot on the bed and sat next to him. _A present?_, he was suddenly so excited that he felt incredibly stupid. He picked up a lighter from his pocket and lighted the small candle on the bedside table. The weak flame spread a comfortable and warm orange light that somehow increased the speed of Snippy's heartbeats. The sniper realized Pilot's mask was gone and he slowly removed his own:

'A present?', he repeated. What had been his last Christmas present? Oh, a dead mice with big fangs... Pilot's present, by the way! Snippy froze as he thought about this; what if the green eyed man gave Snippy something that had nothing do to with friendship or love? _Nononono, he wouldn't do that... he wouldn't harm me, right? Nor give me something that could harm me._ The sniper bit his lower lip and frowned lightly when the pilot undressed his leather jacket:

'Yes stupid shoe, presents are given to someone special.', Snippy's eyes widened as the blond haired man took off his black and white jacket, 'I've been thinking about this for a while and seems a good present, I hope you like it!'

'Pi-', the sniper's shirt flew to the floor:

'I also thought about giving it to you earlier, but Christmas seemed a much better option.', Pilot's shirt was gone too. Something inside Snippy's brain clicked and he held the green eyed man's wrists before his hands could reach someone's trousers:

'Bwah? I mean... Pilot... what about Captain? Don't you love him anymore?'

'Don't say such booberies, ugly shoe!', the pilot rolled his eyes; how could someone be so silly?, 'Of course I love Captain!'

'So why are we going to do this?', not that the sniper didn't wish it. He did, a lot. But he wasn't in the mood to be a toy, Captain's stupid missions and the consequent pain were enough, he didn't need more of that. Pilot blushed and a child-like smile played on his lips:

'Because I love you too.'

'But...'

'I love you as much as I love Captain.', the pilot proceeded his speech, 'However... I don't know, it's strange... loving you feels... easier, more substantial and more real than loving Captain. You are mortal, unlike Captain, but like me. A mortal can't have a physical love with a God, right? It's all... Pla... Planotic!'

'Platonic...', Snippy corrected, not really believeing someone like Pilot could have such a passionate and strangly coherent reasoning:

'That. But a mortal and a mortal, that's not Planotic.'

'Platonic...'

'Shut up, stupid flip-flop! And Captain is too much for me, I'm not worthy.'

'But you used to think the opposite!'

'Because Captain was the only one caring about me! Aside from Mr. Kittyhawk...', Pilot blushed, 'But then my legs went to sleep... and you cared more.'

Snippy shook his head; he wanted and didn't want to believe that. He really wanted to believe he had gotten that man's heart, that he had stollen it from the German freak... but... it seemed so... easy. The sniper sighed:

'What... what if Captain finds out?'

'He already knows, he knew since the beginning! Captain knows everything, he's more magic than Gandalf and he fought two Balrogs and... and Captain can read the Future, that's why he joined us!', Pilot smiled widely, 'Why didn't I think about this sooner, everything makes more sense now! Captain knows I lived brokenhearted, so he fixed my heart by joining us!'

'But... and your legs? Aren't you afraid Captain won't heal your legs? He might be jealous and...'

'Snippy, Snippy, Snippy...', Pilot sighed as he shook his head; in that very moment, he felt like the wise man telling a child about the meaning of life, 'Your shoeish brain would never think about this, so I'm going to explain; worshiping Captain is a full-time job, yes? And what happens when you leave a full-time job?'

'No money for me?'

'In my case, no legs for me.'

'Bwah?!'

'One is purple, the other is blue! And I don't care, I've made my choice and I'm not going back!', he raised his arms, 'No shoe, boot, sandal, flip-flop, flatform or high-heel can stop me!'

Snippy hid his face on his hands; this was too good, too good to be true! He had the feeling that he'd pay hard for that. For him, nothing was for free. He looked again to the green eyed man and met his sad face:

'But... don't you want me? Don't you want me as your Christmas present?'

_Bwah, fuck this shit! _

_'_I want.', the sniper replayed.

Pilot let out a happy cry and glued his lips to the sniper's. Unlike their clumsy and brute first kiss, this one was softer and tender, which leaded Pilot to feel like his dinner had lighted fire inside his stomach. He felt Snippy run his hands up and down his back and he broke the kiss to bite the sniper's neck:

'I love you, stupid boob...', Snippy mumbled and he laid down, pulling the pilot with him, 'I... I never felt like this, before...'

'I loved an airplane, but he never looked at me.', Pilot answered and rested his chin over Snippy's bare chest, who looked at him with a huge smile:

'That was such a stupid airplane...'

'Do you think so?', the green eyed man giggled as the blue eyed one nodded, 'I love you, ugly shoe.'

Pilot dragged his body over Snippy's chest and they locked their lips in an intense and passionate kiss. The sniper felt Pilot's 'funny feeling' against his abdomen and allowed his hands to slide down the pilot's back and touch his backside:

'Snippy?'

'Yes?'

'Those are not anti-stress balls, they are airbags!'

'I like your airbags...', the sniper replied with a saucy smile. Pilot blushed and, with a finger, described a circle around Snippy's navel:

'Snippy, I feel very funny. I like this, I want to feel even more funny!'

'I feel funny too.'

'I want to feel like this forever!'

'Pilot, I'm afraid the funny feeling will... hmm... we'll see that.', the sniper giggled before Pilot's confused expression that was promptly replaced by a naughty child-like face. The green-eyed man nuzzled the dark haired man's stomach and Snippy shivered in delight:

'You are jiggly like a gelatine.', Pilot whispered, enjoying what he was doing to the sniper. Somehow he felt powerful, that shoe was at his mercy. And by the shine on the sniper's eyes, he agreeded with his situation:

'I'd like to finally unwrap my present.', Snippy sounded more eager than what he had thought. Pilot nodded and allowed Snippy to unlace his boots. Two pairs of combat boots flew to the floor and landed with a heavy 'bump!'. Snippy laid down again and the blond pilot laid beside him, resting his head on the sniper's chest. Slowly and a bit clumsy, Snippy unbuttoned Pilot's jeans and pulled them off. He placed a hand over one of Pilot's legs and felt suddenly guilty. And angry, very angry with that German weirdo; _But now I have Pilot., _Snippy thought, and it was a good consolation. _  
_

The blond haired pilot observed as the sniper ran his fingers on his legs. Stupid sleepy legs! Pilot could swear he felt Snippy's gentle fingers and his warm hand, but it was surely imagination. With a smile, he got rid of Snippy's trousers and glued his body to the sniper's, urging to kiss him. Their lips met again, hungrier than never, but suddenly the green eyed man broke the kiss and stretched his hand to the bedside table:

'This is inappropriate for Mr. Kittyhawk.', he explained as he made the plushie turn around and face the door. Snippy couldn't help but laugh, even though he felt nervous and avid; there was just a little piece of fabric between Pilot and him.

The pilot turned his attention to him again, and for some minutes Snippy was completely lost. Until finally he slowly hooked his fingers on the waistband of Pilot's boxers and pulled down. The sniper looked at the pilot's naked body and felt a silly smile grow on his lips:

'Do you like me, Snippy-shoe?', the green eyed man asked. He did want to please the sniper who just nodded, speechless. Snippy allowed the wishful pilot to take off his boxers and laid over him, pressing their naked bodies together.

The sniper wanted to tell Pilot how much that meant to him, how much, lately, he had desired that, how important the pilot was. And he wanted to thank him for all the comfort and joy and hope, but all the sniper could do was moan, at first soflty and low, and then plead loudly and unceasingly.

And when it was over Snippy tried to speak, but he was too exhausted. All he did was curling up on Pilot's embrace and fall asleep, listening to the blond haired man's fast heartbeat. He glanced a last time at the pilot before closing his eyes and found out his lover was already sleeping. Snippy just smiled; _He will be here when I wake up, tomorrow, and we'll have plenty of time and I'll tell him everything. _

The candle was now too small. Outside, a weak sunlight managed to break free from the dark clouds.

* * *

Engie laid on the couch, singing quietly in Russian. Then he heard something, or he thought he had. Nevermind. He kept singing. Then he heard it again. And again. And again. What the heck was that? The engineer changed to a sitting position and frowned lightly, hearing those sounds. It was getting louder:

'What do you think about this?', he asked the empty bottle of vodka that was still on his hand, 'Charles Snippy? Yes, I think it's Charles Snippy and Pilot. Can you believe this?', a hiccup, 'Alexander Gromov alone, single and sexy...', another hiccup, '... and Charles and Pilot having fun! How rude, when everyone else is dead and all that is left are bones!'

Engie laid down again, covered his head with a dusty pillow and cried his eyes out.

The engineer was not the only neighbor troubled with the noise. In his room, Captain wondered why his minions were so noisy that night. The Christmas party was over, now it was time to sleep! Bad Snippy, bad Pilot, they'd be punished! The German man covered his ears with the pink headphones:

'Tomorrow I'll have a very serious conversation with mein impish minions!', he mumbled.

And at dawn, Captain made his way out of his room and checked Engie first; the Russian was sleeping and the German grimaced to the empty bottle; _I'm not giving you tea for your hangover, irresponsible boob!_, he thought. He then went to Snippy's and Pilot's room and opened the door, carefuly.

Mr. Kittyhawk was looking at him. Captain saw his two minions sleeping deeply, naked and glued to each other. He didn't have his mask on and noticed a suffocating, strong and strange scent in the room. A smile grew on his lips and he walked towards the bed, no sound coming from his heavy boots. Carefuly, he managed to cover his sniper and his pilot:

'I'm sure it was a nice party, ja?', he whispered and placed both hands over Pilot's legs. The blond haired man sighed something and nestled more on the sniper. Captain giggled and trotted out of the room, closing the door behind him. He went to his room, put on his facewear and ran to the living room and threw himself to the couch, landing exactly over Engie's stomach:

'Mr. Engie, I have a mission for you!', Captain announced as the poor Russian man opened his eyes ans gasped for air. Engie choked and coughed, then covered his ears:

'My ears, my eyes! Don't scream and turn off the light!', he cried. Captain clapped his hands:

'Don't be such a sissy, Mr. Engie!', the German replayed, 'I have a new, adventurous and exciting mission for you! And it must be accomplished before the New Year!'

'Ok, ok...', Engie just wanted Captain stop using him as a chair:

'Mr. Engie, find zee most beautiful church of Captania, so that I can celebrate Pilot's and Mr. Snippy's wedding!'

If it was not for the headache, Engie would have laughed. He just nodded, tiredly:

'Now hurry up, New Year is tomorrow!'

* * *

**Weeee, review?**


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's (something) note: **again, thank you all for the reviews and follows and favs. :)

* * *

Not too long after Captain left the room, Pilot woke up. What a wonderful night! And what a wonderful feeling! He looked to the sleeping sniper and smiled. Then his smile died as he realized there was a blanket covering them, he really didn't remember that blanket. Well, maybe it had been Snippy, Snippy was so sweet! He thought about waking up his lover and tell him about the millions of sweets and muffins that roamed in his heart, but maybe it was better to let the sniper sleep.

The green eyed man sighed and cherished Snippy's chin; it was so nice to feel his skin on his, warm breath against his chest and their tangled legs... Wait... wait a minute... Pilot frowned and peeked under the covers; in fact, their legs were tangled, he could feel Snippy's legs! He then shook his head, nononono, it was just imagination... stupid, stupid imagination and stupid, stupid legs!

Still, Pilot couldn't help and he tried to move his right leg. And he did.

_Holy boots of Holy Captain!_, he thought as he widened his eyes and dropped his jaw. He moved both legs. He wanted to scream, to cry out in joy, to wake up Snippy and tell him that somehow their nocturnal activities had waken up his legs. Excitedly but carefuly, the pilot moved away from Snippy and stood up. At first his legs trembled, but finally the pilot managed to stand still. He couldn't believe that, it was just to good; having Snippy and his legs?

So, it hadn't been the nocturnal activity but Captain's benevolence. And Pilot froze; he had to go back to duty...

He sat at the edge of the bed and gave Snippy a sad look; the beautiful shoe would go mad if he woke up and didn't find Pilot. And the green eyed man didn't want to disturb that peaceful sniper, even though something told him it was the best option. Pilot sighed and looked at his feet, _Why now and not before? Maybe Captain really wanted Snippy and me to be together, that's it!_, he screatched his blond head, feeling a little better, _Yes... because if he had healed my legs before, I wouldn't have fallen in love with Snippy and would live brokenhearted. Now, besides having my heart fixed, I got my legs fixed too!_

Pilot got dressed, sadness replaced by excitement; now that he could go on missions, Snippy could rest! And he could finally find an airplane and take Captain and Snippy and Photoshop and Mr. Kittyhawk and the fat slug to the land of pancakes and merryness! Oh, Captain was such a marvelous captain, he couldn't ask for better!

The blond haired man sat at the desk and wrote a letter for Snippy with a green felt pen; he thought that the shoe would be a little bit less upset if he found an explanation, and Pilot promised to be quick and be back at night, so that they could make that funny thing again. Pilot read the letter and approached the bed where Snippy was still sleeping, a small smile playing on his lips:

'Snippy, I love you.', Pilot whispered close to the sniper's ear. He laid Mr. Kittyhawk next to the sniper and put the folded paper under one of the plushie's wings, 'Give this to Snippy, Mr. Kittyhawk. And make sure he has breakfast and lunch and dinner. And tell him we need a new candle.', then Pilot pressed softly his lips over Snippy's, grabbed his gas mask and left.

He could walk, finally! He jumped into the living room, where Engie was trying to gather courage to stand up. As the engineer saw the pilot running towards him, he swore he would never drink that much again. But it was real, and Pilot was already strangling him:

'Stupid fat slug, look who strikes back again!', Pilot announced, his gloved fingers digging into Engie's neck, 'Where's Captain?'

'...ou...sid...', was all Engie could said. He coughed when the pilot released his neck and ran out of their base. Alone again, Engie rubbed his eyes and blinked, thinking about what he had just seen; Pilot, the paraplegic pilot, was walking again. Walking, running, jumping, annoying everyone else again! Just like Captain promised! Instinctively, the Russian man sipped non-existent vodka from the bottle.

Pilot found Captain outside the building, looking to the frozen beach:

'My Captain, I'm here to serve you again!', the green eyed man cried as he kneeled in front of the German man. Captain raised his mug victoriously:

'Mein pilot, such a quick recovering! I was expecting that for the New Year, but this is most welcomed!'

'I... how can I thank you for your blessings?', Pilot found himself crying; he still couldn't believe his luck, Captain was everything! And Snippy too... Captain placed a hand on Pilot's shoulder:

'You know what you have to do!', he started, 'But hurry up, be back before nightfall!'

'Yes sir! I love you, sir!', and the happy pilot stood up and sprinted away, looking for a flying machine. This time he would find a perfect one, Captain would be pleased and Snippy would be proud.

Captain watched him with a smile before going back inside.

* * *

Snippy started to feel cold. He grumbled something and cuddled more on Pilot. Or where Pilot's body was supposed to be. The sniper frowned, his eyes still closed:

'Pilot?', he called. No answer. Lazily, the sniper opened a blue eye... and found Pilot's half of the bed empty. He goggled his eyes and his heart skipped a beat; _Bwah! Where are you, fucking moron?_ Snippy changed to a sitting position and looked around, but pilot and his clothes and gas mask were gone. Maybe... maybe he had crawled to the living room, where they were now keeping the supplies, and was making them breakfast. Yeah, that silly pilot, such a sweetheart!

Snippy was about to stand up when he noticed Mr. Kittyhawk and the letter. He frowned again:

'Why do you have a letter for me?', he asked and grabbed the paper. He unfolded it and began to read:

_dear Snippy-shoe, i love u! :)_

_Captain already nows, but a-side from Captain u will be the 1st to now dis: MY LEGS WOKE UP! :D i went in mission for Captain but i come back before diner. i love u X3_

_please please please don't be angry wid me :'( Captain was great and magni-ficent and i ave to serve him again but i love u very very very very m- a lot! ^_^_

_i love u :3 and i want to play at night again B) _

_4ever yours,_

_Pilot_

A very ugly vein pulsed on Snippy's forehead. He felt like he had been punched several times on the same place and he took some minutes to read the letter again. And again. Then he let out an inhuman scream and tore the paper in many little pieces; _THAT BASTARD! THOSE BASTARDS! THAT... THAT CHEAP FUCKER, THAT... UUUUUURGH!_

He was so stupid! Stupid, imbecile! Captain and Pilot had made fun of him again! Those... those...!

Snippy fell backwards on the bed again and covered his face with his hands; _No, he's not a bastard... he... he was honest with me. Pilot loves me, he does! He... would not leave me if it wasn't something... urgent... not... not after what happened..._

The blue eyed man uncovered his face and stared at the ceiling; Pilot was just a poor puppet, the real trouble was the puppet master. He shook his head; and Pilot... walking again? Really? No, that was a very strange story...

He got dressed and left the room right on time to see Engie covering his face with his goggles:

'Where's Pilot?', Snippy asked sharply. The Russian man looked at the sniper and felt sorry for him:

'He left, some time ago...', he started and stepped closer to Snippy, intending to touch his shoulder, 'Look Charles... I'm sorry...'

'You are fucking drunk... where's Pilot?', Snippy clenched his fists:

'I'm sober and I have a huge headache and I'm sleepy but Pilot was walking! He left, walking! Look, look what he did to my neck!', and the Russian engineer showed the bruises left by the pilot's fingers. Snippy smiled and Engie thought about a psychopath:

'Look, look what he did to my neck!', the sniper repeated and showed his neck with teeth marks. Engie shook his head:

'I'm really sorry... but he just walked away.'

'Where's Captain?'

'Room...'

'Where are you going?'

'I'm...', Engie shut his mouth, turned his back and ran away; it was better not to tell the sniper about the wedding. Seemed there would be no wedding, but the Russian had just witnessed the greatness of Captain and now he surely believed in everything the German said. So if Captain wanted a pretty church, Engie would find a pretty church.

For some seconds, the sniper didn't know what to do; should he kick the shit out of the Russian engineer because he let Pilot leave? Or should he go after Pilot? But he didn't know where did he go... Slowly, the dark haired man walked to the German's room. There was Captain, sitting on the bed with the stupid mug on the bedside table and his hands crossed over his legs:

'Ah, mein sniper!'

'I'm... I'm so going to kill you...', Snippy mumbled and, with a trembling hand, reached the small handgun inside his pocket:

'Mr. Snippy, don't say such booberies! Today is for us to celebrate!'

Snippy screamed something incomprehensible and appointed his gun to that stupid German head. However, in the blink of an eye, Captain had stood up and punched his stomach. Snippy fell to his knees, breathless, and let go the handgun. Calmly, Captain picked it up and started playing with it:

'Mr. Snippy, guns are no toys! I thought you knew that!'

'I'm going to kill you!', Snippy cried, his arms wrapped around his stomach, 'I'm going to kill you, where's Pilot?'

'Pilot is on a mission!'

'How is that possible, he can't walk!', Snippy looked up again and met Captain's purple lenses. The German man grabbed him by the arms and made him sit at the edge of the bed. He then took a seat next to the sniper and crossed his leg:

'I always wanted to be a nurse!', Captain started, Snippy rolled his eyes and let out a sigh, 'And when I was a young, handsome lad, I learned some reiki magic, so that I could heal mein minions! And I healed Pilot, mein infidel sniper, even though I only expected him to recover after zee New Year.'

Snippy was speechless. So... so Captain knew some useful things, after all! But the sniper shook his head again:

'We... Pilot and I... I woke up and he wasn't there, he just left a note...'

'Do not worry, snippy-snipster! He will be back on time!', Captain stood up and removed a shopping bag from under the bed. Snippy just blinked his eyes, 'Now, go and try your dress.'

'My dress...'

'Ja! You're going to marry Pilot today, Mr. Engie went in a quest for zee perfect church!'

Snippy found himself on his and Pilot's room again, with a shopping bag and a make-up kit. He just blinked his eyes, too shocked to think.

Slowly, he droped everything on the ground and sat on the bed, looking at his hands; so... Captain had really healed Pilot. And Pilot, on his blind innocence, had left to please that German freak. And he, Snippy, had been cast aside.

Once more, Captain had taken something dear away from him; Pilot.

The sniper let out a sob. He cried for a long time, until he thought that his green eyed lover would really come back that night, since it had been one of Captain's orders. So Snippy, with nothing else left to do, undressed his clothes and put on the dress. A pink dress. He sighed tiredly and opened the door of the room, and somehow he was not surprised in finding Captain standing there:

'Schön! Goes perfectly with your boots!', the German exclaimed with a giggle. Snippy rubbed his puffy red eyes:

'It's... pink... I thought wedding dresses were white...'

'You're not a virgin boob anymore, so you take zee pinky dressy.', Captain got in the room and dragged the sniper to the bed, 'Now, some make-up will make wonders on this grumpy face of yours!'

'No make-up, please...', Snippy begged. He expected Captain to ignore him, but the German just shrugged and put down the make-up kit:

'Now, we just have to wait for Mr. Engie, and then for Pilot.', Captain clapped his hands and pulled Snippy to a hug, 'Cheer up, jiggly minion! It's your big day!'

'Hurray...', Snippy mumbled.

* * *

So that was how Snippy ended in a gothic church with a pink dress and paper flowers. From the church, only the fire-eaten walls were left and some small snowflakes danced over their heads. Engie was the best man and he didn't know if he should laugh or pity Snippy. Captain was the priest and he had a Holy 'Captible', a bible he had written especially for that occasion.

The sniper was a little calmer; Pilot would surely show up at any moment and bring any short of flying device, a balloon or a broken fan. Snippy sighed, thinking if he should make himsefl difficult and teach Pilot a lesson or let his recently found romantic side take the reins of the situation.

However, the day gone by and the green eyed minion didn't show up.

* * *

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